DEBATE CORNER Edition 2: Financial Domination, Nudity on Getdare and Mental Health

[MarvHarvey]

This whole thread is a troll, IMHO.

There is value in having an ignore list - you can reduce the amount of really hateful and hurtful stuff you see, let alone deal with. It is also important to realize that some people use our own issues and needs to bend and warp us to fit their twisted view of reality.

AND:
Oddly, nudity can be a business problem for big websites. Look at the difficulties FetLife had last year - nearly got shut down because its bank was pressured by the credit card companies over the content of many pics people had up, among other issues. Other websites and even member-only forums have faced similar problems and a few have had to close because of it. I know one little female-run forum that was only held up by a 2nd mortgage on the operator's house, when the banks refused to deal with them. Lots more besides, but if there is no need for nudity then it can be a *lot* easier to stay in business.

And: Mental Health is a good thing. Everyone should be healthy. Many people scoff at the whole field, just as some people scoff at putting a band-aid on a cut, (don't be a baby) or taking antibiotics for an infection (don't be a wuss, I never take pills), or other physical health issues. Well you can't have one without the other - health of all kinds is good. / Signing off the thread - for my own health!

[Magnetic]

Originally Posted by atownesq

Seriously? I stopped reading this post at this point. What in the world do any of these topics have to do with politics? Why must we politicize EVERYTHING? And why are so many conservatives still so angry? You WON, YOUR guy is in charge now (I'm assuming you're in the US due to the Hillary reference), shouldn't you be happy? Oh, and stating an opinion on a message board is not "imposing" an opinion on anyone ("imposing" is what your side tries to do with archaic laws regulating morality ie opposing gay marriage, abortion, even Sunday liquor sales in some parts of the country, but I digress). As a "libtard" I'll post my opinions wherever I damned well please, and if you don't like it, don't read it, snowflake.

As a libtard, you can post your opinions all you want. But don't try to impose them on others.

[Magnetic]

Originally Posted by atownesq

Seriously? I stopped reading this post at this point. What in the world do any of these topics have to do with politics? Why must we politicize EVERYTHING? And why are so many conservatives still so angry? You WON, YOUR guy is in charge now (I'm assuming you're in the US due to the Hillary reference), shouldn't you be happy? Oh, and stating an opinion on a message board is not "imposing" an opinion on anyone ("imposing" is what your side tries to do with archaic laws regulating morality ie opposing gay marriage, abortion, even Sunday liquor sales in some parts of the country, but I digress). As a "libtard" I'll post my opinions wherever I damned well please, and if you don't like it, don't read it, snowflake.

By the way, you proved beyond a reasonable doubt that it is YOU who is the snowflake by melting and abandoning my post, instead reading why my opinions where so to argue reasonably.

[HCM]

This is a great idea, hopefully it will create more interesting discussions and help ideas spread. I would only suggest that everyone engaging does so with an open mind and in a logical way.
As far as the current topic, even though I agree with some points the OP made I found atownesq's first response quite convincing.

Originally Posted by TheoDares

Okay, I don't see how the legal liability would be on us as we take every measure possible to ensure that minors are not on the site. Whether that's via constant checks in the registration process - or whether that's the moderators themselves banning the underage users. We're hosted by the same site as Kinktalk, which is vBulleton. With that in mind, it's not the host that prevents us from being able to show nudity, as it's evidently allowed with Kinktalk.

And a small correction...VBuletin is a forum software, not a website hosting service.

[atownesq]

Originally Posted by Magnetic

By the way, you proved beyond a reasonable doubt that it is YOU who is the snowflake by melting and abandoning my post, instead reading why my opinions where so to argue reasonably.

Nah, I just don't value your opinion enough to waste my valuable time reading it. Life's too short to waste it on your ilk. (Not to mention trying to decipher what the hell "where so to argue reasonably" even means). Best of luck to you, have a nice day.

[Runesmith]

On nudity - I prefer the way getDare is. Right now, it's a fun site for people to interact with each other. Allow nudity, and it will turn in to yet another shitty porn site. If you want nudity, sign up to KinkTalk. There were times I wished that getDare would allow nudity, so that I can post the photos that go with my non-fiction stories, but I understand the need to keep the site clean, and I respect that. If nudity is allowed, getDare will degenerate in to another KinkTalk... where people sign up to ogle and masturbate... and spam.

Findom - It's a powerful control mechanism (in terms of controlling what the sub spends her money on), but it frequently gets abused as a mechanism to relieve the horny of their hard earned cash. Most findoms and findommes are nothing but prostitutes, in the pay for play definition.

Mental health - unless you are a qualified academically to discuss it, stay off this topic. Most people without medical training have no idea what mental health issues are, and are unaware of the issues they themselves have - as at least 2 posters on this thread have demonstrated through their writing styles.

[RiskyFlame]

Originally Posted by Magnetic

Nudity

Of course it should!

At the very list, getDare should realize that it hurts its users by having all these stupid rules, and it should at least start on a reasonable migration path to only adults who can enjoy nudity.

How?

1. Immediately cut the incoming of babies as new members, this should be done immediately.
2. Get the age of every member, the smallest one is the one who counts.
3. Invalidate the passwords of anyone over... say... 6 months of disuse. As part of the reactivation purpose of a deactivated account for disuse, you require a proof that you are 18 or older...
4. Let time run its course. Say that somebody get a GetDare account on his 13th birthday and he managed to keep active so he did not fall in the disuse trap, that is a wort case scenario... in this case, you will be free of babies in 5 years.

Note, however that this would not be necessary everywhere. For example, the age of consent for sex is 15 years in Ontario, Canada. I could right now go to Ontario, grab a consenting girl, and give her the most humiliation, painful and exciting experience in her life... It would not be pedophilia. But if the same girl travels to Wisconsin (the legal age of consent there is 18), and I just touch her private organs, then it would be. GetDare could use this also to try to decrease the amount of time having to endure the weight of all those babies.

Of course, they would only do this if they cared about us...which they don't!

I'm not sure if your list of steps can actually be applied. Maybe I'm wrong—if so then correct me.

1. Assuming that you mean underage people when you write 'babies', how should we "cut the incoming of babies" exactly? We can hardly ask for visual evidence of their age (licenses and IDs): too much work. Not to mention the tremendous cut in the number of registrants.
2. The minimum age to register on getDare is 18 y/o so the lowest age would be higher than 18 y/o.
3. Again, lots of work for both moderators and the registrant (or reactivator?). Just to be sure we are on the same page, we are talking about verifying each new individual user, right?
4. It's been roughly 6 years and 8 months since getDare changed its minimum of age for users from 13 y/o to 18 y/o. Assuming you couldn't register if you are below 13 y/o before when getDare changed its policy on age, there shouldn't be any underage users left. Yet they are here because it's relatively simple to fake your age.

And about your trick to evade the age of consent of 18 in certain states and countries, you can't use this trick on getDare. This forum is hosted in California, USA, where the legal age of consent is 18 y/o. This age of consent applies to getDare in its whole and for everyone who's on the forum. However, if you take everything that goes on to another place where the age of consent is lower, you can probably do this... I guess.

[Sam~]

Just regarding nudity, I think you would have even less females on GetDare if nudity was allowed. I mean if nude avatars or profile pictures were allowed, I for one would leave. I do not wish to see naked pics everywhere, believe you me, if I wanted to see naked guys, I have no shortage of options. (not that I don't like seeing guys naked.... But just don't want it forced on me) if it was just allowed in the album section, I guess that wouldn't be as bad, as I can avoid that if I want, but I'd still miss being able go there and see the kind of pictures that are currently posted, than having to go through loads of naked pictures to find them.

And as Riskyflame has pointed out, it would be very difficult to make sure no underage people were viewing the site.

[TheoDares]

Originally Posted by blasie2

A discussion is always met with a argument. You have indeed named this the debate corner which implies there is atleast one other side which will always generate an argument to counter the initially put information. If it were a discussion I would still merely be giving you a reply it is up to personal opinion wether my words can be classed as an argument dependent on the name of which you have called this thread. You’ll never see a debate with only on opinion.

Finding isn’t banned it’s disliked by moderators there’s a difference and ways to get around corrupt moderators if you had half a brain. Nor can o perceive findom as anything but an excuse to take hard earned money in the form of fetish.indeed most times findoms as perceived on tumblr the only site I’ve found that really feature findom as a legitimate fetish/kink they border on abusive and downright disgraceful doms. The fact that recon doesn’t have findom as a fetish is also saying something.

I could run word games with you all day if I wanted to. But you wouldn’t have the wits to understand nor come up with a decent answer.

You go from blaming politics to saying it’s being shoved down our throats to self diagnosing mental health issues. Kindly make your mind up those “useless antidote” were to prove the effect hat people like you have on general population.

In regards to no minors I joined a few years ago(different account) and you only had to be 13+ to join as at the time it was a simple truth of dare sight that was mainly involved around dares and stories the rules haven’t been changed and thus we aren’t allowed nudity because minors can still use the t&d simulator and view the forum without an account so yes to cover their ass they have to make it not allowed because minors can still view true material

You claim I don't have a brain while making the point that Findom, spelt incorrectly, is not banned here. I think you'll find it is actually - as RiskyFlame correctly pointed out. Minors can still view Kinktalk without an account - I fail to see your point here given that.

Originally Posted by RiskyFlame

RIGHT! It is even written in the general getDare posting rules: "Don't use this site to advertise any service or site you may have." Although, it's a bit more vaguely described here. And to clarify, I'm into findom as well (as bottom) but that doesn't influence my decisions on the subject.

Also... did I just read a confession?


Lastly, it seems to me that you're just bitching about people on Facebook and Instagram. If you don't like the feed that you get on those websites, why are you even still on them? Also, I don't have any problems with FB and IG regarding mental health posts and stuff but only because I'm not using FB and IG.

No. You didn't read a confession. I do take part in Findom... but off the Getdare forum which is completely and utterly allowed and what I specified in my post. As for your point on Findom, it was Butterfly who informed me that Findom isn't against the laws - so that mistake came from a Moderator not knowing the rules.

Originally Posted by Terminal

I totally agree with what some people said about your last debate corner. It's a bitchfest.
There were always people who self-diagnose and tell everyone about that because they want to feel special. Liberals had nothing to do with that, nor did the "Glorification" of Mental Health. It was something that has always been there, so you need to suck it up and deal with it.

That's the thing. I respect that this is your opinion - but I do disagree with it. I'll tell you why. Firstly, you claim that liberals have nothing to do with the influx of self-diagnosing of Mental Health. Liberals have inspired a weak society of victims - and in order to paint themselves as victims, more and more people self-diagnose. You also appear to claim that Mental Health has not been glorified. Glorification is when something is made to seem more special than it actually is - that fits Mental Health completely.

Originally Posted by Magnetic

Ok, I wll give my opinion on all 3 subjects, if anybody wants to continue a decent discussion, be my guest. If any fucking libtards want to impose their opinions on me and anybody else... maybe Hillary would be interested i fucking you... After all, she did try to fuck everybody else! So why not you?

Findom

For me, findom is not only ok, it is a must of any real self respecting Master, not Dom, that will demand out of his slave girls, not sub girls.

Why?

Slavery implies total ownership, total and complete ownership. In every area of her life. Both sexual and nonsexual, it is all the Master's. A slave is nothing but property, and should be very aware of that fact.

Of course, a major part of total and complete domination is financial domination. Without it, you do not get the total control you where looking for.

Now, real findom is not taking out of the slave girl's earnings. That is not what real findom, what should be the target of every Master, is all about.

If you say stupid things such as "I do not want to take of my slave's hard earned money, I make enough on my own!" it means that you do not have the slightest idea what real findom is!

True, taking your slave girl's money is a valid way of findom, and could well be done to demonstrate ownership over everything the slave girl has... But that is not where the real findom lies. There is a much higher way.

What's the real findom, you may ask?

You obtain the real findom when you order your slave girl to quit her job, so she has no earnings on her own, and you send her the money for her upkeep. And you demand her a very detailed report on every penny she spent.

Now, lets say that you are working on to get to that point. That, for A or B reason, she cannot enter yet into real findom.

Is there any other way you can practice findom with her, beyond the taking of her money?

Yes, of course there is!

You can control the way she spends her money!

Of course, since she is your slave, it is not her money she is spending, but yours!

For example, say she was saving to buy a new high price skirt, and you force her to redirect it towards a new sex toy... Isn't that findom?

Sure is... You, as a Master, made a financial decision for your slave girl, when she was planning to give it some other use, she instead chose to submit to you and she used her money for what you wanted instead of what she had chosen for herself...

Is that not a basic form of findom?

Nudity

Of course it should!

At the very list, getDare should realize that it hurts its users by having all these stupid rules, and it should at least start on a reasonable migration path to only adults who can enjoy nudity.

How?

1. Immediately cut the incoming of babies as new members, this should be done immediately.
2. Get the age of every member, the smallest one is the one who counts.
3. Invalidate the passwords of anyone over... say... 6 months of disuse. As part of the reactivation purpose of a deactivated account for disuse, you require a proof that you are 18 or older...
4. Let time run its course. Say that somebody get a GetDare account on his 13th birthday and he managed to keep active so he did not fall in the disuse trap, that is a wort case scenario... in this case, you will be free of babies in 5 years.

Note, however that this would not be necessary everywhere. For example, the age of consent for sex is 15 years in Ontario, Canada. I could right now go to Ontario, grab a consenting girl, and give her the most humiliation, painful and exciting experience in her life... It would not be pedophilia. But if the same girl travels to Wisconsin (the legal age of consent there is 18), and I just touch her private organs, then it would be. GetDare could use this also to try to decrease the amount of time having to endure the weight of all those babies.

Of course, they would only do this if they cared about us...which they don't!

Mental Health

While mental health is a problem that should be considered seriously, it should not be taken as a libtard would say:

"O no, do not hurt her feelings, those are too fragile! aboo... aboo"

All the time, they said this they keep the pacifier on their mouth and their mom's tit's nearby.

Real mental issues, yes, but imaginary?

You might just be the smartest person to ever comment on a Debate Corner. I bascially agree with everything you say. What I find interesting about your approach to this thread and others is you've actually sat and discussed your points, as well as backed up those points. Others have just chucked out insults.

Originally Posted by little pet

Maybe...just...you know....

Your use of a picture has just displayed your lack of intellectual ability to debate. Good job. Please do not SPAM on my thread. Thank you.

Originally Posted by Wedgiebondagebabe

Playing devil's advocate is a favorite pastime of mine, but in this case, it is not a stretch from my true opinions. I know some of the responses above just sound angry. I hope that is not where my response comes from.

Findom:

My personal opinion is that I will never give up control of money at least to the point of 100% control. I might say here is 50 dollars tell me what to buy, but I do not really look at that as findom in the sense I know the word.

It is a kink I do not have much of an understanding of, but to me it seems in a similar realm to blackmail. I think if you choose it as a kink, there is to be a lot of trust and respect. Also since there is a high chance of very personal and sensitive information being shared, I do not personally think that it really belongs on a web forum where a lot of people get their kicks and leave. To me, that is not shaming the kink, but instead protecting a lot of the undereducated horn balls on this site from either taking advantage of someone who really wants to try it or trying something stupid themselves and losing everything.

Basically, if it is a kink you want to enjoy, fine, but if what RiskyFlame says is true, then I do not understand why you would want to deal with 2 comment people who just want to drain your finances. But in the end, if you like findom, be safe, sane, and consensual and I would probably make sure you have a legally binding contract in case crap hits the fan. This is not something I would take lightly and I would make sure my ass would be covered from either side in a state of law. Only supporting why I think if I ever did do this type of play, it would be with someone in person or at least that I had more of a chance of knowing then a quick getDare post or comment.

Nudity

I have stated this on my previous post to your debate threads. Honestly, I am perfectly fine with no nudity on this site. If I wanted to see dicks, I would go look at porn, google them, or ask for a picture from my play partner if I have one. I think allowing nudity on the site would make it harder to go through my pm messages without wanting to leave the site all together. Most of the males on this site do not have the chance to get unsolicited messages asking to dom them, punish them, and everything else that the horny population can come up with. I think the ratio is like 25:1 for how many messages coming through being another female. Even then though, it is a real possibility that the female is a male.

I also agree with what is said above. It is a site that has no way to limit 18+ use. You can see the albums and forums without an account. Plus. I think that there are already a lot of dare request posts and punishment threads, if you want an argument on how getDare has spanned from the original intention of the site, lets talk about how no one posts dare threads anymore. Even when they are posted, they are usually written for males or include many of the common limits that people have. I.E. Wedgie dice dares, they always have an exhibition component and/or have ridiculous time limits. But back on topic, I think overall adding nudity would just make this a site where myself personally would stop using it all together in the discontent of what might be coming into my pm box in the future.

Mental Illness

Let's realize mental illness is a real thing that many people are struggling from. We all have different ways of dealing with it and getting through it. Some of us can recover in silence and by ourselves, but more often than not, we need someone to idolize and help us through it. For me, it was a friend that had committed suicide that made me promise myself to not have a similar fate. I look to Demi Lovato for her songs of home and to see her journey in coping. I find her inspirational and Warrior has been my go to on many occasions when I feel down. But there are a couple simple ways to avoid it if you are really sick of it. First, Facebook has an unfollow option. That means you can stay friends with a person, but you will not see their posts in your feed. Second, if you really cannot stand it, then unfriend them. I find that people might be more vocal on Facebook, but they tend to be the same person they are in real life. So if you cannot tolerate a person on Facebook or in real life, well then the problem might be that you do not want to be friends anymore.

I personally find that from time to time, posting or sharing an image I have seen as either a positive quote, or inspirational story, is helpful to me. It is also my way of letting my dad know my emotions without letting the world know. My dad knows when I post things like this is when I feel low and being almost 6 hours away, it keeps him updated when I might not have the time to call. I also do it for myself. If I have negative things on my page, then posting an image or quote is my way of spreading a little positivity. I have taken so long to open up about my personal issues that if someone told me it bothered them to see me talk about it, I would tell that person to get out of my life. It takes a lot of guts to share your struggles and ask for help. Silencing someone with a mental illness sends them back to where they started and then leaves them feeling more hopeless and lost then they were in the first place.

I agree that people overshare on facebook. They talk too much about every little detail on their feeds. I understand where you're coming from with that point, but by no means should we be silencing people. In fact, we should be encouraging people to talk. I have found more peace talking to the people I care about and that care about me that it does help. Sharing some of it on Facebook also shows me that I am not an outcast in my family and friend groups. We often forget who has our back and it often surprises me the people that stand up and ask if you are okay.

Instead of shaming the idea of mental illness, why not support those struggling? Didn't you say in your original post that you hate the idea of findom being shamed, but yet you are totally okay with the idea of mental illness being shamed? How about we don't shame people ideals and struggles on both sides. There is a lot of work that has to be done with mental illness. I am equally fed up with people using it as an excuse, but if someone really is struggling, then I want to know so I can help them do something better if I can. Shaming mental illness as a whole is not the answer.

I have spent time deciding if I want to throw my hat into the ring on this last issue, but I have finally decided I have had enough.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/martyr

Martyr:
"a person who voluntarily suffers death as the penalty of witnessing to and refusing to renounce a religion"
or
"a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle"
or
"to put to death for adhering to a belief, faith, or profession"

There is only one definition that came up that I feel relates to your "cause" and that goes as follows:
a person who pretends to suffer or who exaggerates suffering in order to get praise or sympathy

Hey. Thanks for your points - extremely interesting to read your opinions, just a few things I thought I'd comment back on. Firstly, albums on Getdare are not visibile to guests actually - which means that to be able to access the album section on Getdare, you need to have an account. What this means, is that if you are looking at the Getdare Albums, you have made an account and you have legally claimed that you are 18.

It's not just facebook. Mental Health is being glorified everywhere - Facebook is just a specific platform. It's gone from a serious thing that is legit, to a trend. Suddenly, all these people are coming out of the woodworks - wanting attention, self diagnosing themselves as an excuse to be seen as a poor little victim; as opposed to actually dealing with their own problems.

Originally Posted by HCM

This is a great idea, hopefully it will create more interesting discussions and help ideas spread. I would only suggest that everyone engaging does so with an open mind and in a logical way.
As far as the current topic, even though I agree with some points the OP made I found atownesq's first response quite convincing.

And a small correction...VBuletin is a forum software, not a website hosting service.

Thank you HCM! I much appreciate it. Atownesq did make some extremely good points as I credited him for. While I didn't agree with everything he said, I defo did see his way of thinking. Your correction is right - it's Cloudfire that hosts; my mistake.

Notice to Immature Users

This thread is to encourage debate; and raise awareness of a number of issues. It is not to insult each other, it is not to spam pointless pictures and gifs and it's not an excuse to kiss peoples asses either. It's open, honest and frank discussion. I have no problem with people having different opinions to me, if someone comes to me with a different opinion and lays it out in the appropriate way, I have no issue discussing with them.

If your intention is merely to come here and look to start trouble, then please do not insult the intellegence or intergrity of my thread and go and sit in your blog and rant. The 'Debate Corner' series is for smart, educated individuals who are able to discuss like adults - not for petty little children who do not have any valid points to make so they use insults instead - like a few of the people who have commented on this thread.

Thank you.

[TheoDares]

Originally Posted by Samishere

Just regarding nudity, I think you would have even less females on GetDare if nudity was allowed. I mean if nude avatars or profile pictures were allowed, I for one would leave. I do not wish to see naked pics everywhere, believe you me, if I wanted to see naked guys, I have no shortage of options. (not that I don't like seeing guys naked.... But just don't want it forced on me) if it was just allowed in the album section, I guess that wouldn't be as bad, as I can avoid that if I want, but I'd still miss being able go there and see the kind of pictures that are currently posted, than having to go through loads of naked pictures to find them.

And as Riskyflame has pointed out, it would be very difficult to make sure no underage people were viewing the site.

Hey Sam, apologies that I didn't reply to your message above - must have glossed over it. You make two main points in your post. First, you post the opinion that a large female audience would go - I don't know how right this is, Kinktalk have quite a few female members - most of which are actually verified on Kinktalk. That is as site that posts nudity.

As for your comments into keeping underage users off the site, I think what many people are failing to understand is that legally, we've done everything that we NEED to do. We've posted disclaimers throughout the forum and the registration process that viewing of the site should be 18. We've created 18+ sections so that those who come on the site as a guest are advised legally. We've done everything that the law requires us to do to curb the youngsters joining and viewing nudity. If they choose to lie about their age, then the burdon of guilt falls to them - not us as a site.

[OmoGuy]

Gotta throw my two cents in here:
1. On findom: I argue that as a lifestyle, BDSM can have both liberatory and regressive tendencies. One can consent to the hierarchical nature of BDSM and thus exercise control over the gender roles and relations that restrict us in everyday society. However, for that to be the case, the relationship between dominant and submissive must be one that is well communicated, healthy, and practiced with constant upkeep and consent. As I'm sure we all know, this standard isn't the norm for Getdare. Too often do we willfully ignore the humanity of the person on the other side of the text chat, using them to get ourselves off. That dehumanized and exploitative relationship is far too common in findom. Financial dominants often view their relationships with their subs as means to a monetary end, rather than a relationship exploring that kink between healthy, consenting adults. Findom becomes a relationship of cold exploitation, oiled through the manipulation of the sub's kinks. I think the unhealthy form of this relationship is far too common, especially online. Findom turns relationships into commodities, to be bought and sold to the highest bidder, and that relationship lacks the basic humanity that is so hard to find on the internet.

2. We've got kinktalk. That's the compromise that already exists. I think we'd lose a ton of people if getdare allowed nudity. We'd probably become a site filled to the brim with dick pics and we've got enough of that on the internet.

3. The mental health epidemic is the result of this unnatural modern age. It's an issue that should be addressed out in the open, in honest and frank conversation. Telling people to "Man up" is simply ignoring the problems of mental health and the causal relationship between society and the mind. To be callous towards mental health is to plunge those trying to survive a war with inner demons into further depths of darkness. Empathy and kindness are the ways individuals can help address our mental health problems. Fixing it however, cannot be done through telling people to stuff their emotions into a small box.

[TheoDares]

Originally Posted by OmoGuy

Gotta throw my two cents in here:
1. On findom: I argue that as a lifestyle, BDSM can have both liberatory and regressive tendencies. One can consent to the hierarchical nature of BDSM and thus exercise control over the gender roles and relations that restrict us in everyday society. However, for that to be the case, the relationship between dominant and submissive must be one that is well communicated, healthy, and practiced with constant upkeep and consent. As I'm sure we all know, this standard isn't the norm for Getdare. Too often do we willfully ignore the humanity of the person on the other side of the text chat, using them to get ourselves off. That dehumanized and exploitative relationship is far too common in findom. Financial dominants often view their relationships with their subs as means to a monetary end, rather than a relationship exploring that kink between healthy, consenting adults. Findom becomes a relationship of cold exploitation, oiled through the manipulation of the sub's kinks. I think the unhealthy form of this relationship is far too common, especially online. Findom turns relationships into commodities, to be bought and sold to the highest bidder, and that relationship lacks the basic humanity that is so hard to find on the internet.

2. We've got kinktalk. That's the compromise that already exists. I think we'd lose a ton of people if getdare allowed nudity. We'd probably become a site filled to the brim with dick pics and we've got enough of that on the internet.

3. The mental health epidemic is the result of this unnatural modern age. It's an issue that should be addressed out in the open, in honest and frank conversation. Telling people to "Man up" is simply ignoring the problems of mental health and the causal relationship between society and the mind. To be callous towards mental health is to plunge those trying to survive a war with inner demons into further depths of darkness. Empathy and kindness are the ways individuals can help address our mental health problems. Fixing it however, cannot be done through telling people to stuff their emotions into a small box.

Just want to check - are you suggesting that Findom isn't true BDSM?

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Mental Illness:
I understand where you are coming from on mental illness. There are people who use it as an excuse, people who have fake service animals and a variety of different scenarios. At the same time, who are we to judge who is real and who is fake. Sure there might be some obvious cases, but at the same time, for example, someone can say they are suicidal for the attention, and they may not be suicidal, but they may have some other underlying situation such as being depressed and not wanting to get to that point so they use it as a call for help.

I do agree things like trigger words and safe spaces have gone a bit to far, but at the same time, it is important to realize the value of these as well. We still warn people for gore, intense content, strobe lights and lasers for seizure (or is it stroke) hazards, and many more things. We have safe spaces such as women's resource centers, rainbow centers, and club rooms for different races and ethnicities. And while people think they are racist, it just means a space for like minded people to come together. In fact, getDare can be a safe space for all of us with kinks who want to feel like we belong. I want trigger warnings if someone is going to show me something with needles, knife play, and blood. I want the option to say I cannot watch this. In turn I also feel people have taken this to a bit of the extreme. I.E. Going to something you know will offend/trigger you and still doing it anyways. We as a population simply do things we do not want to do so we can complain about them afterwards and try to take it away from everyone.

With that being said, I think it is very important to mention and end with, most of us are not mental health professionals, which you use as a counter argument, but in the case of my argument, it also means we cannot prove and disprove who actually has mental illnesses. We simply do not know because someone may be good at hiding it, have a different way of handling it, or be completely open. I wish there was an easier way to rule out the people faking, but to my knowledge, there is not. You simply need to find the people you feel the best with in your life and it someone feels negative and toxic then let them go.

Nudity:

There is a setting in getDare where albums can be seen by non members of getDare, I recently had someone I view as a stalker and I spent time extensively going through the settings to make sure I can control which posts this person sees and does not see. So to my knowledge, guests can see albums. Although I did try it in incognito mode and you are right you do need to log in to see albums. I also went through to look at albums through a person's page and you cannot click through a person's album that way either. But there is an exception. You can see visitor messages, you can see profile pictures and you can see pictures posted in threads. In my opinion, there is not a way you can say nudity only in albums where albums are often linked to threads for reports. For kink talk, there is a forced log in before you can see any pictures or threads. On getDare, the reason that guests can see it is because there is no forced log in. I think leaving getDare open like this can allow for open sharing. A lot of us lurked before we finally join. You see it on almost every AMA site. Myself, I do not join things unless I can lurk and check it out first. I do not want to waste the time, no matter how simple, if I end up not liking it later.

I do want to reiterate a point again repeatedly. I have kinktalk for one reason and one reason only. It is only so I can see pictures posted in reports. I do not check my kinktalk otherwise. I find no use in it other than a picture sharing space. I find that most people who take the time to write blogs, dares, and stories spend most of their time on getDare anyways. I want to second Sam in saying if I saw penises as profile pictures all the time, I would be gone. And I know you want to tell me that's not true, but no offense guys, you are obsessed with your dicks especially when you are horny and denied which is when most of you are on this site. Not all, but most. Most of you do not ask if we want to see your dick before getting sent pictures or links to pictures. If nudity was allowed on getDare, people would post dicks in chat. I mean someone posts their naked butt in chat all the time just to be a troll and quite frankly it makes me sick and makes me want to leave chat because I want to talk with people. If I wanted to see it, I have my ways to ask.

I agree with one of the staff above that it would just become a porn sharing site that is male dominated picture wise. Contrary to popular belief, most women I know, do not want to stare at dicks all day and I cannot make this clear enough. If you would wine and dine us in person, we probably want the same things through chat. Or the conversation and getting to know you part. I think there are enough methods (kinktalk, snapchat, kik, discord, and etc) if you want to share pictures of your genitalia. Because please do not forget, it is not nudity that is banned. I think most of us have been saying nudity, but it's actually a ban of penises, vaginas, nipples, and assholes. Not butts, breasts, and other skin. I think this is an important distinction to make. I know there are a lot of guys who want to see more nipples and vaginas. At the same time with this being a male dominated forum, I think for the small amount of females, it is hard enough. In fact, I recommend your next debate topic to be something related to that. I would really like to see the female population of getDare to have more of a chance to share how uncomfortable, attacked and otherwise annoying behavior that they have to deal with every day and why males (there are some exceptions) think it is okay to solicit tasks, mistresses, subs, pictures, and other things when it is clear that most of us state we do not want it. In fact, I am surprised and it's hard to say this, but I think the audience you seem to draw, might be some of the audience that needs to hear it.

[TheoDares]

Originally Posted by Wedgiebondagebabe

Editing, I forgot something.

I understand where you are coming from on mental illness. There are people who use it as an excuse, people who have fake service animals and a variety of different scenarios. At the same time, who are we to judge who is real and who is fake. Sure there might be some obvious cases, but at the same time, for example, someone can say they are suicidal for the attention, and they may not be suicidal, but they may have some other underlying situation such as being depressed and not wanting to get to that point so they use it as a call for help.

I do agree things like trigger words and safe spaces have gone a bit to far, but at the same time, it is important to realize the value of these as well. We still warn people for gore, intense content, strobe lights and lasers for seizure (or is it stroke) hazards, and many more things. We have safe spaces such as women's resource centers, rainbow centers, and club rooms for different races and ethnicities. And while people think they are racist, it just means a space for like minded people to come together. In fact, getDare can be a safe space for all of us with kinks who want to feel like we belong. I want trigger warnings if someone is going to show me something with needles, knife play, and blood. I want the option to say I cannot watch this. In turn I also feel people have taken this to a bit of the extreme. I.E. Going to something you know will offend/trigger you and still doing it anyways. We as a population simply do things we do not want to do so we can complain about them afterwards and try to take it away from everyone.

With that being said, I think it is very important to mention and end with, most of us are not mental health professionals, which you use as a counter argument, but in the case of my argument, it also means we cannot prove and disprove who actually has mental illnesses. We simply do not know because someone may be good at hiding it, have a different way of handling it, or be completely open. I wish there was an easier way to rule out the people faking, but to my knowledge, there is not. You simply need to find the people you feel the best with in your life and it someone feels negative and toxic then let them go.

Agree with pretty much everything you've said there. It defo has gone far. I don't for a minute want to invalidate Mental Health. I'm well aware that it exists, as I said - I've had three diagnoses in the past, though one I'm having a second opinion on as I'm not sure I agree with it; and safe spaces are okay, but I like how you touched upon the offence point.

Everyone seems to want to be offended these days, and that comes back to the point I made earlier about how we are becoming a society of victims, and I do think a lot of this can be drawn back to liberal principles and ideas.

[OmoGuy]

Originally Posted by TheoDares

Just want to check - are you suggesting that Findom isn't true BDSM?

It's definitely BDSM