How to strike a balance?

[CountryMan]

I am a dominant, but I grew up and still live in the south. I was raised to treat a lady with respect, but at the same time, I also want to have them to control.

Does anyone else feel this way? How do you strike the balance?

I have been at this for a year or so, and I feel like I have been pretty balanced. I am jus wondering if there are others like me out there.

[b0ris]

Respect is multi-headed beast, in my opinion. There are many forms of respect.

Fulfilling your partners desire to be dominated by you is an advancved form of respecting that desire.

Listening to your sub, taking note of her thoughts on your relationship, and what you do together is a clear show of respect. Nevertheless, not agreeing with those thoughts and going against them is still the prerogative of the Dom, but those actions are not un-respectful by default.

Striking a balance can also be found in the way you "play" your relationship. You could have a real 24/7 D/s relationship, which is rare. More often you "play" during specific agreed upon periods and the rest of the time you act "normal" (whatever that may be). It is in that "normal" period that respect is build and maintained, while the play period is specifically reserved for abandoning such decency.
The same kind of balance between "play" and "normal" is also present in the fact whether you make your "play" public or keep it rather private.

Does this make sense to you?

[MsFrancesca]

Originally Posted by CountryMan

I was raised to treat a lady with respect, but at the same time, I also want to have them to control.

I think being dominant and being respectful are related. Being dominant -IS- respecting your sub's limits/bounders.

I mean, being disrespectful to your sub is no-way of dominating. That's where the fine line appears, between inflecting pain on your sub or abuse.