People are SUB/Slaves because?

[Saddi]

People become sub/slave because:

• they were born that way
• it makes their cum sparkly
• its a great way to meet billionaires

I feel like all 3 of my reasons might be better poll choices?

Submission isn't born out of trauma, guilt or depression. It's a beautiful, healthy and strong way of life. Dont cheapen it.

[yevo]

Originally Posted by Saddi

People become sub/slave because:

• they were born that way
• it makes their cum sparkly
• its a great way to meet billionaires

I feel like all 3 of my reasons might be better poll choices?

Submission isn't born out of trauma, guilt or depression. It's a beautiful, healthy and strong way of life. Dont cheapen it.

Believe it or not, sometimes people become submisive because of that. It's something generally known.

[Saddi]

Originally Posted by yevo

Believe it or not, sometimes people become submisive because of that. It's something generally known.

Sometimes, yes.
But putting that as the main, almost sole, option doesn't equate to sometimes.

[yevo]

Originally Posted by Saddi

Sometimes, yes.
But putting that as the main, almost sole, option doesn't equate to sometimes.

You're right .

[cbtslave999]

Never really knew of the world of BDSM besides small scenes in movies when I was younger (which were all pretty mellow) But still turned me on, even at a young age. Ive never had any issues, except maybe being the youngest in a family of four kids, I was picked on and bullied by the older siblings. (but then, Who isnt, when your the youngest?) I really doubt that it had anything to do with how I came to like being submissive though. Or maybe it does and I just dont realize it.

In my teen years the internet started to get popular, thats when it really hit home for me. Every bondage, femdom, fetish site was like pure gold. Never had I ever had erections so hard then when I first started looking at internet porn. I was in sheer extasy, thinking to myself OMG I cant believe people do this kind of stuff. Yet I was so turned on I couldnt help but keep looking for more and more bizare stuff.

Now ive pretty much seen it all (at least on the internet) even things I didnt care to see or the stuff I can never scratch away from my memory like the really disturbing things ive come across on the internet. Its pretty much a normal thing for me now, its still a world I keep private. However someday, I would like to find a woman with the same interests as me and let fantasy become reality. But for now Im too much of a coward to let anyone know my secret fetishes. Better safe than sorry.

[DiaperedKittyBoy]

I'm a sub, not "because I want to be" (even though that's what I voted for), but because I just am. I'm just not the kind of person to take charge and whatever. I much prefer someone else takes the lead in just about every situation I can think of. I'm introverted, so it's only natural that I'd be a sub.

[maxperv]

Originally Posted by marijuana

Hey
I have come across a lot of slaves and I find one thing common in all, they are submissive due to a lot of reasons.
but bottom line mostly ends with depression or horrible past.

I find this surprising since most of the subs (and doms for that matter) I know or play with are intelligent, articulate people with plenty of free will to choose what they want to do.

And as many others have expressed here, there are a multitude of reasons a person chooses to sub (or a dom or switch), which are so varied that a poll can't hope to present them all as discrete choices.

I believe (and I suspect that most doms and subs believe) that BDSM play is a power exchange, which includes negotiations, limits, safe words, ...
The motivation to play is exploration, not the deep-seated need to relive horrible life experiences.

Growing your self-awareness of the mind-body connection through the exploration of the pain-pleasure continuum doesn't seem to me to stem from horrible life experiences that somehow predispose a person to want to be a sub.

The fundamental premise of your survey is flawed and instead of conducting a poll, perhaps you need to get to know a broader circle of subs.

The quote in your avatar says, "A slave does not choose his master." In BDSM, nothing could be further from the truth. It is mutual selection.

Originally Posted by marijuana

Hey
So I want to figure out with your help and show everyone why are you like this.

Did we (subs of getDare) ask for this to be done on our behalf?

Why is it that you want to show "everyone" why "we" are like "this?"

What is you motivation in posting this poll?

Originally Posted by Saddi

People become sub/slave because:

• they were born that way
• it makes their cum sparkly
• its a great way to meet billionaires

I feel like all 3 of my reasons might be better poll choices?

Submission isn't born out of trauma, guilt or depression. It's a beautiful, healthy and strong way of life. Dont cheapen it.

Personally, I'm going with Saddi's reason, "it makes my cum sparkly."

[marijuana]

I really appreciate your ideas here, and I would like to thank you for proving me wrong.
but with this poll and your ideas, i can change my ideas

[Kisune Karnon]

You have the wrong idea of what BDSM is and why people choose their roles. Sure, there might be some personal issues that may lead them to it, but the majority will always be choice. You don't just become submissive because your mood is down, you choose to because it makes you happy. If you think Doms are Doms because they are always happy, that's wrong too. Read up on BDSM and find out for yourself what you choose.

[marijuana]

Originally Posted by Kisune Karnon

You have the wrong idea of what BDSM is and why people choose their roles. Sure, there might be some personal issues that may lead them to it, but the majority will always be choice. You don't just become submissive because your mood is down, you choose to because it makes you happy. If you think Doms are Doms because they are always happy, that's wrong too. Read up on BDSM and find out for yourself what you choose.

Hey hey hey, I dont have any wrong ideas about the whole concept or ideas..
Dont mix up things.
I just want to find out my most of the sub i found had one thing or another.
So not question my judgement. I know exactly what bdsm is.

[LitDarkness]

Originally Posted by marijuana

Hey hey hey, I dont have any wrong ideas about the whole concept or ideas..
Dont mix up things.
I just want to find out my most of the sub i found had one thing or another.
So not question my judgement. I know exactly what bdsm is.

That's ignorant and unknowledgable. No one, not even people who participate in BDSM know EXACTLY what BDSM is.

We learn what it is everyday. We're not perfect.

And you seem very ignorant on what BDSM is. You should really research it more.

[CalmInControl]

Originally Posted by marijuana

I have come across a lot of slaves and I find one thing common in all, they are submissive due to a lot of reasons.
but bottom line mostly ends with depression or horrible past.

You're using a small sample size to jump to conclusions here. You might find your own personality is attracting submissives with depression/trauma filled pasts.

Also, there is also the question of whether depression/trauma causes submissiveness or whether it's vice versa. As a submissive may be a 'better' target for certain traumatic events (such as sexual assault) which leads to higher incidences in submissives.

Personally, in my experience several submissives I've spoken to have had self-esteem issues although I'm not sure that it's caused them to become submissive. It's also important to note that most people have self-esteem issues so maybe submissives are just more open about it when speaking to a dominant?

[BunniesOwner]

Honestly, every long term sub I've had the pleaure of being partnered with have had very dominate personalities, very outspoken and sure of themselves.

And giving up the control they were used to to someone else was, well, exciting. I mean, in every day life they would be the total dominate, in most everything they did. And yes, that is technically a form of escapism, but really what isn't?

And that's just a small sample, I've had very few long term subs and trying to narrow them all down to a handful of reasons, that all are rather insulting (as it makes it seem like the Dom is taking advantage of the Sub), seems like ignorance at the best.

[maxperv]

Originally Posted by BunniesOwner

Honestly, every long term sub I've had the pleaure of being partnered with have had very dominate personalities, very outspoken and sure of themselves.

And giving up the control they were used to to someone else was, well, exciting. I mean, in every day life they would be the total dominate, in most everything they did. And yes, that is technically a form of escapism, but really what isn't?

This is very true of my experience as a sub. I have had jobs with a great deal of responsibility as well as control, and submission is/was an escape from carrying the burden of that control and responsibility.

A session with a dom leaves me more refreshed and relaxed than any amount of exercise or meditation.

And the excitement that I felt the first time the rope slid across my skin and the wraps of rope tightened around my naked body with each new knot, well there really aren't words to describe that rush

[Tease]

Originally Posted by Saddi

People become sub/slave because:

• it makes their cum sparkly

My slave doesn't have sparkly cum... WAAAAAAAH she's broken Who can fix her?

Originally Posted by marijuana

I just want to find out my most of the sub i found had one thing or another.

The sad truth of it is that these things happen to people whether they are into kink or not but what you should find with d/s couples is that the lifestyle encourages doms and subs to share and talk with each other about everything and to be completely open with one another about past, desires, wants, needs, etc without a fear of being judged or thought of as "sick" or a "perv" etc.

Good BDSM should make us stronger, more able to accept ourselves for who we are, why we are and what we want and what has happened to us in the past. That is on both sides of the whip since my slave gives me as much strength, support and acceptance as I give to her.

In my experience I've tended to find amongst my friends that the kink ones are more open to talking about their past issues than my more vanilla friends are. I would suggest that what you perceive to be sub/slaves coming from a broken past is just simply a case of them being more open to talking about it than others outside of the lifestyle.

Saying that there is an element of truth that past trauma/issues shape a persons particular kinks since you will find cases, for example, where a poor childhood has left someone with a desire to be cared for. That's just one desire though and not what ultimately defines a person and drives them to be submissive.