Fiction: You, Her. What Else?

OurFord · 03-26-2015, 03:10 PM

Very short introductory piece to something a bit different, hopefully. This is an experiment for me as a writer, I'm taking lots of feedback and whilst I have a bit of an arc in my head I'm planning to adapt (within logical reason) to feedback. Talk to me, my ego and my writing love it.

You crack the door open and slide into the room, closing it gently behind you.

She's there, just as you'd bid her. Kneeling in the centre of the space. Blind for the blindfold, deaf for the ear plugs- totally unaware of your presence.

A crisp breeze dances across your skin, she'd left the window open. Looking at her now you imagine it wasn't a deliberate act, to you it was a chill in the air but across her bare flesh? Something rather more uncomfortable. You watched as her body tensed against the cool air, how it brushed against her and the trail of goosebumps it left behind. She looked fragile, helpless but as your eyes scanned marks left from previous battles over her body you're regaled by the memory of exactly how strong she is.

For a long moment you're caught, just observing her humanity. It was a marvel how still she knelt, she'd been there for what, half an hour before you'd even arrived. You could trace her progress around the room, the coat on the hook, wooden chair with her neatly folded clothing and then the bag beside it, already half empty.

You spotted it in the corner of your eye, her fingers beating slightly against themselves. Agitated, nervous, excited- vulnerable. Is that her breathing getting faster too? She’s psyching herself out- and it had stop.

You reach out, and gently as you can touch her cheek. It sends her jumping, her whole body tensioned. You broke the film, the mystery: she isn’t alone. In the moments that follow, as your skin lingers together you can almost watch relief and fear play in waves upon her expression. Relief you’re here, that she’s not alone, that you haven’t left her here; fear that you’re there, that you’ve set this up and you have all the cards.

Loserman · 04-01-2015, 09:36 PM

Please continue!

Fantage · 04-03-2015, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loserman

Please continue!

Yes please!I want the girl to be tourured to leave more battle wounds!!!Please im on my knees begging you!

Nerdwedgie · 04-06-2015, 06:57 PM

Countine it is really good and I would enjoy reading more

03-26-2015, 03:10 PM	#1
OurFord Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2014 Location: England Posts: 17	You, Her. What Else? Very short introductory piece to something a bit different, hopefully. This is an experiment for me as a writer, I'm taking lots of feedback and whilst I have a bit of an arc in my head I'm planning to adapt (within logical reason) to feedback. Talk to me, my ego and my writing love it. You crack the door open and slide into the room, closing it gently behind you. She's there, just as you'd bid her. Kneeling in the centre of the space. Blind for the blindfold, deaf for the ear plugs- totally unaware of your presence. A crisp breeze dances across your skin, she'd left the window open. Looking at her now you imagine it wasn't a deliberate act, to you it was a chill in the air but across her bare flesh? Something rather more uncomfortable. You watched as her body tensed against the cool air, how it brushed against her and the trail of goosebumps it left behind. She looked fragile, helpless but as your eyes scanned marks left from previous battles over her body you're regaled by the memory of exactly how strong she is. For a long moment you're caught, just observing her humanity. It was a marvel how still she knelt, she'd been there for what, half an hour before you'd even arrived. You could trace her progress around the room, the coat on the hook, wooden chair with her neatly folded clothing and then the bag beside it, already half empty. You spotted it in the corner of your eye, her fingers beating slightly against themselves. Agitated, nervous, excited- vulnerable. Is that her breathing getting faster too? She’s psyching herself out- and it had stop. You reach out, and gently as you can touch her cheek. It sends her jumping, her whole body tensioned. You broke the film, the mystery: she isn’t alone. In the moments that follow, as your skin lingers together you can almost watch relief and fear play in waves upon her expression. Relief you’re here, that she’s not alone, that you haven’t left her here; fear that you’re there, that you’ve set this up and you have all the cards. __________________ Likes: Denial, humiliation, ice play, predicament, mind games, mild pain, mild anal play Dislikes: Mid to high intensity pain, bladder control, writing lines Limits: Public, photo/video (unless on my terms), scarring/long time damage, scat, family/friends

04-01-2015, 09:36 PM	#2
Loserman Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2015 Posts: 8	Please continue! __________________ 24/ m/straight/(no sub Dom preference yet) Likes:Anal, piss, feminization,(more to come). Dislikes: Hidden public,spanking(more to come). Limits: Family, public public, pain(more to come). More likes, dislikes and limits will definitely come. No camera of any type atm

04-06-2015, 06:57 PM	#4
Nerdwedgie Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Riding Marvel's cock Posts: 147	Countine it is really good and I would enjoy reading more