Girls need to stop being so shy about giving pics

[Dark_soul89]

Okay well today a guy pretending to be a girl wanted to be a sub of mine angiebisexualgirl is his username, anyways since I asked for a picture it forced him to admit he wasn't a girl and thus saved me a great deal of grief and annoyance anyways girls who argue that you can tell if someone is a girl or if they do their tasks from chat alone are just wrong, you can't tell, maybe eventually if you are very careful but more often then not they will slip through, so when a master is asking for pics and proof it is for good reason

[Lustat]

I've always had the same problem, but you also have to understand where they're coming from. They're giving their picture away to a complete stranger. how are they to know what you'll do with that picture ? maybe you wont do anything with it while you're together or whatever, but what will you do with it afterwards ?

in the end it's a game of trust. and trust is the biggest thing in any and all bdsm relationships.

now with that said... I sort of like the idea if the ladies would actually send a pic of themselves, even if face not included. just my 2 cents tho lol

Lustat

[Dark_soul89]

Originally Posted by Lustat

I've always had the same problem, but you also have to understand where they're coming from. They're giving their picture away to a complete stranger. how are they to know what you'll do with that picture ? maybe you wont do anything with it while you're together or whatever, but what will you do with it afterwards ?

in the end it's a game of trust. and trust is the biggest thing in any and all bdsm relationships.

now with that said... I sort of like the idea if the ladies would actually send a pic of themselves, even if face not included. just my 2 cents tho lol

Lustat

Thats the other thing they don't have to include their face, since you are a stranger you have no idea who they are so you can't ruin their rep with it worse case scenario it ends up being shared and your another nameless girl naked on the internet among billions of pictures

[Aries_Laetus]

What may seem like a namless picture of a naked girl on the internet to you can be horrifying to that "nameless" girl. I would hate to have any picture of me on the internet that I did not want out there. I have sent a picture before and I only did that after I completely trusted the person. I dont even send pics to some of my friends. We "nameless" girls know its us, we know that others are seeing us as well. Its unnerving and scary, you imagine all the horrible things people might be saying about you in that picture. What if an ex boyfriend sees it or even a current boyfriend? What about girl friends who have seen you like that before.

The thing I dont get at all is how people assure you they wont share your picture or even your conversations. "I wont share it, I am your master" "I will send you one of me" "I will delete it once I get it" "I cant record on my cam". How do you know that any of this is true? People lie all the time. As a mistress myself, I am guilty of some of these things, I dont deny it at all. I like getting pictures from my subs to see that they are doing as I tell them or as they tell me. I have been tricked as well in the past. I was with one sub for a long time and thought it was perfect. She sent me a pic of her and we talked all the time, she lived close to my area and I was thinking of taking it offline with her, but then I found out that it was all fake. I couldnt stand to talk to that person any more for I did not know what was truth and what was a lie.

Some people release pics and info on purpose, and ruin it for thoes of us who are very serious in this life style. So, after saying all this, I dont think there is anything we can do, or that we should do about getting pictures. Some are just not going to do it, they dont like it. So stop bugging them about it, or dont just get rid of a possible slave because they cant do pictures. They want a relationship possibly like you do and could be perfect and you cut them out before you got to know them. I believe we should trust untill we know they are liying. That is what I do, and though it is not perfect, its all we can do I think.


Thats what I believe and think,
-Lori (Aries_Laetus)

[Trygg]

I can't help but agree with everything Lori just said. The only way you can ever be sure about the slave or master you are with is just by experience and the eventual culmination of trust that you gain and earn through conversation and getting to know one another. Right now I am not a master for any sub, but all the potential subs I have talked to, and the ones I am still talking to I have and will speak to for great length before I even consider them as a sub. Days, weeks even. Sometimes it helps if they have a Yahoo account or similiar with their pictures appearing as they right to you. I personally make sure my picture is readily visible for everyone to see when on yahoo. Over time I will start sharing a bit about my life, showing them pictures of me and my hobbies, and there are times when they even share some back, through that you can start to gain a little more trust and assurance that the person you are speaking to is who they say they are.

Of course in the end you can never be totally 100% sure, for people do lie and have the means to extend a lie. They can even lie through voice modifiers over voice chat, and if they are resourceful enough, some people can probably fake a cam session as well. It's the risk you take going into this lifestyle the way we do, and we do it in hope that the reward beats it out. All you have to do is make sure you stay smart, don't give-in to scams, and stay sharp, but not paranoid.

In the end it is all about respect. Subs respecting masters, masters respecting their slaves, and sometimes a mutual love of what is happening in the process. With just a little respect, honesty, and a open mind, you are sure to find the experience you are looking for one way or another when it comes to this lifestyle.

[erick92]

It could be because guys have less self respect.

[OneMoreTime]

... so when a master is asking for pics and proof it is for good reason

In general of course ...
Masters never ask for proof, they demand it. And when proof isn't given, they don't consider that the other person might be shy or weary of giving it out they simply jump right to accusing them of being fake. yes, sometimes this is the case. But there are also plenty of times where it really is just someone who wants to be careful. who can blame a girl for not wanting to appease the person who just accused them of being fake? if i were a girl i certainly wouldnt satisfy someone after being called fake

On a similar topic ... when you say "i dont have a cam" dont expect anyone to believe you. I dont even think you can get a laptop without a camera anymore, and the number of people who dont have a digital camera is small. the number of people who dont have cellphones (which can take pictures) is probably even smaller still.

if you dont want to send someone a picture, just tell them you dont want to. dont lie and blame not having a camera for it.

[Kaynetime]

I've had found that it's too easy for the person sending pics to just Google "nude pics" and send what ever girls pussy she can get. I would rather have a good relationship with my slave then to have her send fake pics.

[muffinfairy]

Sending a face photo isn't normally the issue. However, if you send one photo people then expect that they will receive more.. constantly. Then then assume all those photos to be naked, doing everything they've said.

Saying no at the first stage just reduces the amount of yes I have a cam, no I'm not taking naked photos discussions one has to have.

[Dark_soul89]

Aries_Laetus - Scary maybe but the fear is unfounded, even if someone you know saw you, how would they know it was you or just a girl that looked like you, in a celebrity look a-like contests there are like a dozen people there and one time the celebrity joined in and didn't even win, lighting and stuff can make a person look dif, so they wouldn't know and most people wouldn't be brave enough to try and find out conclusively and the fake pic thing is why I usually ask my subs to write something on them or take very specific multiple photos

Trygg - Well all that is true, if you ask for a few pics in different positions with writing on her, you can be 99% sure it's actually a girl and I want to be sure it is a girl before I take them on as a sub

OneMoreTime - I don't jump to the conclusion of them being fake but at the same time without proof I'm never going to trust them enough to take them on as my slave, sometimes I think I'm being paranoid then some guy tries to pretend to be a girl and suddenly I'm glad I was so cautious and thats the other thing most of them are lying about not having a cam of some kind, so how can you trust them if they are already lying

Kaynetime - again specific pics negates that possibility if you ask for any old pic then they might beable to find something but multiple in several positions or uncommon writing theres no way they can

muffinfairy - or you could try just being honest and saying you'll take the occasional pic but doing it all the time isn't fun and if the master insists you'll move on

[CollaredBlondie]

Originally Posted by Aries_Laetus

What may seem like a namless picture of a naked girl on the internet to you can be horrifying to that "nameless" girl. I would hate to have any picture of me on the internet that I did not want out there. I have sent a picture before and I only did that after I completely trusted the person. I dont even send pics to some of my friends. We "nameless" girls know its us, we know that others are seeing us as well. Its unnerving and scary, you imagine all the horrible things people might be saying about you in that picture. What if an ex boyfriend sees it or even a current boyfriend? What about girl friends who have seen you like that before.

The thing I dont get at all is how people assure you they wont share your picture or even your conversations. "I wont share it, I am your master" "I will send you one of me" "I will delete it once I get it" "I cant record on my cam". How do you know that any of this is true? People lie all the time.

Those bits in bold are exactly what I think.

Originally Posted by OneMoreTime

In general of course ...
Masters never ask for proof, they demand it. And when proof isn't given, they don't consider that the other person might be shy or weary of giving it out they simply jump right to accusing them of being fake. yes, sometimes this is the case. But there are also plenty of times where it really is just someone who wants to be careful. who can blame a girl for not wanting to appease the person who just accused them of being fake? if i were a girl i certainly wouldnt satisfy someone after being called fake

Of course, this is also a brilliant point. If someone calls you fake, it's disrepectful, so why the hell should they then get what they want? I mean, I hardly even give out personal details on this site, because I simply don't trust easily anymore anyway. And, I dont' see why most people should need to know those things about me. Even my first real name. Someone said to me last night "it's just a name, there's loads of others with the same name as you out there" yeah, maybe, but y'know what? I don't give a damn. I have a screen-name for a reason. If I wanted the world and her husband to know my name, then I would've signed up with that. USe my screen-name, or a variation of it (most call me CB or Blondie right?) when you're talking to me, there's no need for you to know my name. So, if I'm not going to give you my name, why would you expect a photo? I actually dont' have a cam becuase I don't use a laptop, I have a PC and yes, while I have a digital camera and a phone that takes (crappy) photos, I'm not going to share because I hate tkaing and/or looking at photos of myself. None of you need to know what I look like anyway due to y'know, me not being interested in being Owned by any of you lot. So you like to put a face to a name? Tough. Don't pressure a girl when she says "no" or "I don't send photos" or anything of that ilk.

. . . Eh, more of a rant than my two cents.

[spiritualxtc]

Originally Posted by muffinfairy

Sending a face photo isn't normally the issue. However, if you send one photo people then expect that they will receive more.. constantly. Then then assume all those photos to be naked, doing everything they've said.

Saying no at the first stage just reduces the amount of yes I have a cam, no I'm not taking naked photos discussions one has to have.

This is very true. And to comment on something Dark Soul said after. It really isn't a matter of honesty, it's a matter of expectations. What you're talking about in telling the master this or that doesn't invalidate the expectation that Muffin was talking about in her post, and it in fact confirms it, because the master will have had to make this expectation clear, verbally or through actions, before the slave has reason to say that to her master. She's saying that after the initial picture, expectations level rise, sometimes disproportionately.

Originally Posted by Kaynetime

I've had found that it's too easy for the person sending pics to just Google "nude pics" and send what ever girls pussy she can get. I would rather have a good relationship with my slave then to have her send fake pics.

Too true. Easy to catch a lot of the times, but the act itself is barbarous.

Originally Posted by OneMoreTime

In general of course ...
Masters never ask for proof, they demand it. And when proof isn't given, they don't consider that the other person might be shy or weary of giving it out they simply jump right to accusing them of being fake. yes, sometimes this is the case. But there are also plenty of times where it really is just someone who wants to be careful. who can blame a girl for not wanting to appease the person who just accused them of being fake? if i were a girl i certainly wouldnt satisfy someone after being called fake

On a similar topic ... when you say "i dont have a cam" dont expect anyone to believe you. I dont even think you can get a laptop without a camera anymore, and the number of people who dont have a digital camera is small. the number of people who dont have cellphones (which can take pictures) is probably even smaller still.

if you dont want to send someone a picture, just tell them you dont want to. dont lie and blame not having a camera for it.

Agreed on all counts, and the same goes for Aries.

[Dark_soul89]

Originally Posted by CollaredBlondie

Those bits in bold are exactly what I think.



Of course, this is also a brilliant point. If someone calls you fake, it's disrepectful, so why the hell should they then get what they want? I mean, I hardly even give out personal details on this site, because I simply don't trust easily anymore anyway. And, I dont' see why most people should need to know those things about me. Even my first real name. Someone said to me last night "it's just a name, there's loads of others with the same name as you out there" yeah, maybe, but y'know what? I don't give a damn. I have a screen-name for a reason. If I wanted the world and her husband to know my name, then I would've signed up with that. USe my screen-name, or a variation of it (most call me CB or Blondie right?) when you're talking to me, there's no need for you to know my name. So, if I'm not going to give you my name, why would you expect a photo? I actually dont' have a cam becuase I don't use a laptop, I have a PC and yes, while I have a digital camera and a phone that takes (crappy) photos, I'm not going to share because I hate tkaing and/or looking at photos of myself. None of you need to know what I look like anyway due to y'know, me not being interested in being Owned by any of you lot. So you like to put a face to a name? Tough. Don't pressure a girl when she says "no" or "I don't send photos" or anything of that ilk.

. . . Eh, more of a rant than my two cents.

I already addressed what you bolded and as for your points, I don't need to know personal information but I need to know your a god damn girl and I don't pressure them I just drop them they can find someone more naive or not play at all fake or not I won't beable to trust them unless they can prove it either way

Originally Posted by spiritualxtc

This is very true. And to comment on something Dark Soul said after. It really isn't a matter of honesty, it's a matter of expectations. What you're talking about in telling the master this or that doesn't invalidate the expectation that Muffin was talking about in her post, and it in fact confirms it, because the master will have had to make this expectation clear, verbally or through actions, before the slave has reason to say that to her master. She's saying that after the initial picture, expectations level rise, sometimes disproportionately.




Too true. Easy to catch a lot of the times, but the act itself is barbarous.



Agreed on all counts, and the same goes for Aries.

I disagree, if you are honest and say you hate giving pics and you won't do it often the expectations don't go up even if you give an initial pic and if my sub is going to lie to me like that I don't see why I should trust them anyways

[muffinfairy]

Originally Posted by Dark_soul89

muffinfairy - or you could try just being honest and saying you'll take the occasional pic but doing it all the time isn't fun and if the master insists you'll move on

Originally Posted by Dark_soul89

I disagree, if you are honest and say you hate giving pics and you won't do it often the expectations don't go up even if you give an initial pic and if my sub is going to lie to me like that I don't see why I should trust them anyways

I'm only saying it from my experience, but telling someone that doesn't work. They normally try and put it back on you "You gave me a pic then, why not now? Don't you like me anymore?" etc.

If you are doing Dom/sub things then people put even more pressure onto it, especially sexual underwear to XXX type images.

I've met eassily 20+ people who act that way. So it is only my experiences, but I've spoken to lots of people. And that is normally what happens, sure there will be exceptions to it. I don't always have access to a camera as I use my dad's, and that is another thing people can't get their head around.

I think one of the good things about this site is the no to requesting images. I would've left ages ago if I was constantly asked to produce them.

[phanmail]

I'll put in my two cents. I think that girls should be willing to do pics and cam, maybe not immediately but once trust has been established then she should be willing to offer proof.

I myself prefer to go on cam because it's not as easy to reproduce in my opinion, and I try to keep my face out of the camera's range, but that's another tale for another time...

That said I remember an incident where a girl was willing to offer photos and cam so long as she didn't show her face. One of the people she trusted immediately posted a non-censored photo she had sent him by mistake he the proceeded to blackmail her saying he'd ruin her life if she ever left him.

It (I can't think of a word nasty enough to describe them) people like this who ruin it for everyone, they're ever girl's worst fear and our anger shouldn't be directed at careful girls (though make no mistake I'd prefer it if girls did go on cam and I can't stand all the "broken" cams that are out there) but at jerks who exploit the photos given to them out of trust.