Reality or fantasy

[Jolly*FtM]

This is my first story. English isn't my first language so please be patient. I am open for feedback. Please enjoy!
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Reality or fantasy
It is not easy for someone like me to find a sex partner or actually a partner overall.

I am a woman to man transgender. That means I'm a guy, I look like a man and I behave like a man, but physically I miss something. It does not bother me, because I do not need a penis to feel like a man, but it does not make things easy.

I try to meet men only over the Internet, which is not easy. Therefore, I limit myself to sex and sometimes it works.

Some time ago I gave up a contact ad on a page and I got a few letters. The usual ones that sounded nice but lived too far away, or those who were married and wanted a little secret and those who could be my fathers. Often, only one or two people remain of the crowd.

With one of them I made an appointment in a few days. My apartment is very small and sometimes very chaotic because I have no room. Since I have only a loft bed, it is even harder, but fortunately, a bed is for my kinks not necessary.

I spent the day with cleaning up, even though I knew that it would not take so long anyway. I showered and shaved my pussy. Last but not least, there was an enema, because I did not know what would happen.

It rang shortly after 8pm, I was nervous but I opened. We did not exchange photos before and so I was pleasantly surprised. He was about 1.80 m tall, a bit muscular with dark short hair and brown eyes.

I greeted him tensely and invited him in. I showed him where he can take off his jacket and asked if he would like something to drink. He demanded only a glass of water, so I got a glass and filled it and put it in his hand, then I showed him the way into the living room, even if it was now only one step further. I offered to sit on the couch. He looked at me. I just wanted to sit down on the opposite and he just meant. "Stand still."

So I stood there uncertain and nervous while he looked at me from top to bottom.

I pointed to a blue sports bag next to the couch, "There's everything in." He nodded.

He sat there and looked at me. "Take off your clothes," he ordered. Uncertain, I removed my glasses and stripped off the vest, then I took off my shirt. I was a little ashamed of my scars on my upper body, but I knew that most people did not mind as much as I did. Then I unbuttoned my pants and stripped them off. Finally, I took off my socks and put them on the pile of clothes. Then I looked at him uncertainly. He looked at me urgently and then he looked at my underpants and nodded. He did not even need to say, I knew what he wanted, so I took off my underpants.

I stood completely naked before him. I felt my heart beat, but I could also felt a slight excitement.

"Come to me," he said. I approached him and stopped in front of him. I sucked in my stomach a bit. "Turn around," he said. I did as I was told. He kneaded something my buttocks. "Now lean forward". I leaned my torso forward and rested my hands on my knees. He ran his fingers over my pussy and my anus.

"You obviously like this bitch." He put a finger in my pussy and fucked it very easily. Then he pulled out his finger and told me to turn around and kneel down. So I did it. "Open your mouth" After I opened my mouth, he put his wet finger in my mouth. I sucked them without him asking me to, but that's exactly what he apparently wanted.

He pulled his finger out of my mouth. He asked me to close my eyes and put my hands on my back. I did that. I heard him get up and walk over to the bag. There I had stowed some utensils, gag, ropes, chains, lube, condoms and what else is needed to play.

I heard him rummaging in the bag and taking out a few things. He came behind me and laid something over my head, which I perceived as a blindfold. Then he took my hands and band a rope around my wrists. I could not move my arms much anymore.

I heard him sit on the couch in front of me again and open his pants. Then he took my head and pushed me into his lap.

I knew exactly what he wanted, even though I had only once blown a guy and he had a condom over his penis, so I wanted to do my job well. I opened my mouth and when I had the still pretty flabby penis in my mouth I began to suck and lick. I moved up and down as best as I could. The penis was getting harder and it came out something precum. I did not know if I should swallow it or not, since it was not that much I decided to swallow it.

He started moaning slightly, he took my head and so he directed my movements, he pressed his cock deep into my mouth. I could not breathe and had to gag. Tears came to my eyes. Then he relaxed a bit and got up, he started to fuck me in the mouth now, while he held my head tight. Always harder and firmer. I choked and tried to stay calm. I noticed how I became more and more arroused. He groaned. Then he pulled his cock out of my mouth.

He pulled me up and leaned me on the couch. I knelt on the couch with my upper body bent over the backrest. "Legs apart," he said. So I tried to spread my legs without losing my balance.

He came behind me and without warning he pushed his penis into my pussy. That was so hot that a moan escaped me. He held me by the bound arms and rammed me hard and fast.

I groaned and squeaked softly. Then he paused briefly, he took my shoulders and pulled me up, then he put my ball gag in my mouth and closed it tightly behind the back of my head. Then he let me bend forward again and began again to fuck me hard and tight.
His penis filled me well. The desire drove me almost mad, it made me so horny.

He pushed hard as I liked it. I heard him spit and felt his spit on my butt. He spread his spit over my anus with his fingers. As he fucked me, he began to play at my back door. First he circled around my rosette and then he penetrated with a finger and began to fuck me lightly with his finger. Then he took the second finger and spat again.

I was so horny I would have liked to come immediately, but knew that an orgasm would end my fun. Because I had no desire after an orgasm. So I tried to hold out and above all to try not to come.

By now he was already with the third finger in my butt and he fucked me hard and fast.

Then he pulled his penis and his fingers out of me and I heard him back at the bag. When he came back, he turned me on my back. It was not very comfortable to lie on my arms, but since the couch was soft and I was actually leaning on the cushion with the upper body, it wasn’t that bad. My upper body reached to the edge of the couch. He took one leg and attached a rope to it and pulled it aside. He did the same thing with the other leg, so that I leaned with my back on the coach and my legs were pulled apart.

Then I felt his penis on my anus and he pushed it in rudely. I moaned with lust but also with pain. He immediately began to fuck me hard. He spat a few times and hit my cunt. He distributed the spit with his hand. He fingered my cunt now.

He fucked me alternately with two or three fingers. I moaned in my gag and he groaned too.

His breathing deepened and he began to knead and rub my clit. I would not last long until I came, I just hoped he would come soon as well.

His breathing got heavier and he moaned louder too, I groaned.

His penis began to twitch and blew into my gut and that made me so horny that I came just after him. My pussy twitched and my whole body shooked slightly.

He pulled his penis out of my butt while my pussy still twitched. Then he left the room. In the bathroom, I heard the shower.

I was still tied up and wet on the couch. A little later, the shower stopped and he came back into the room. He pulled the ropes off my legs and helped me up, pushing me to my knees on the floor.

So I knelt again in front of him. He untied the rope on my back and stroked my head.

"Very good," he said. "You stay that way until I leave the apartment."

I breathed a little hard and as soon as I heard the door of the apartment I took off the blindfold and the gag.

I got up and took a shower. That was so great, I hope that or something similiar we do now more often.