|
02-10-2013, 09:38 PM | #1 | |
Member
|
BDSM 101 - Difference Between a Submissive and a Slave
I found this to be a very interesting read. Submissives of gD, do you consider yourself to be a submissive, or indeed, a slave?
Article by Bea Amor - Quote:
__________________
|
|
02-10-2013, 09:39 PM | #2 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: United States
Posts: 120
|
This was very well written and brings out several important points. Nice find.
__________________
Likes: Light to Moderate pain, bondage, routine, being in control, Gags, Ice, among other things Dislikes/Won't do: Public, Permanent, Enemas, Family, friends, illegal, extreme pain, Urine/Scat. Webcam, videos, or pictures Done something wrong? Want a punishment? Fill the form out: http://jotform.us/form/40570846841155 |
02-10-2013, 09:47 PM | #3 |
Member
|
It was interesting.
I, myself, am quite new to online play, and I was wondering how it is even possible to own a slave digitally? I have had both submissives and slaves under the definition below in the flesh, but online surely it would rather hard to maintain a relationship where both parties, the Master and the 'Slave' were benefiting.
__________________
|
02-10-2013, 09:53 PM | #4 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: United States
Posts: 120
|
When it comes to online ownership sometimes it is hard to tell. I usually try to get to know the person on a more friendship level to build some trust, and go from there. Because if there is trust, you can get to know one better instead of jumping right in which helps build a trust and devotion as well as honesty. It also helps to be able to understand the sub/slave to a point to follow your feeling of "I don't think they are being honest" or "I feel they are being honest" So it comes down to the relationship, how strong it is, and what you as a Dominant figure feel and think. Communication is key for any online adventure or ownership phase.
__________________
Likes: Light to Moderate pain, bondage, routine, being in control, Gags, Ice, among other things Dislikes/Won't do: Public, Permanent, Enemas, Family, friends, illegal, extreme pain, Urine/Scat. Webcam, videos, or pictures Done something wrong? Want a punishment? Fill the form out: http://jotform.us/form/40570846841155 |
02-10-2013, 11:21 PM | #5 |
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 84
|
Well communication is the key to life. Interesting article, I still kind of look at this as way to direct an internal desire, but lots of great points.
__________________
I like: Nice people Limits: People who aren't nice http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=130542 |
02-15-2013, 01:32 PM | #6 | |
Junior Member
|
Quote:
|
|
02-15-2013, 03:23 PM | #7 |
getDare Addict
|
Interesting article. I myself, don't totally agree with the definition in the article. I am what you can call technically a slave, but my Master and Mistress know my boundaries, and never cross that line. I do help them in their everyday life. In those terms, I am called a personal assistant; and far as everyone else that is around here where we are located, that is what I am. Although, if I do step out of line in the public; I will be punished back at home. However, I am given many free times that I am aloud to do whatever I want. Plus, I am still taking a class or two here and their just furthering my education. That is one of the things Master and Mistress loved about me; and encourage me to keep furthering my education.
__________________
Brian (布莱恩) - Bi-Male (双男性) - Edge Master (边缘大师) RETIRED: THANKS getDare, I HAD FUN. OH, JUST REMEMBER: "Life is not fun, unless you are having fun." - Dareholic "Adam was but human - this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent." - Mark Twain Yamask |
02-11-2013, 09:16 AM | #8 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 9
|
I realize the point of your post isn't so much to start an argument over the article, but it bugged me a bit so I want to at least say a couple things.
It would be useful to have fairly static definitions of 'submissive', 'slave', even 'painslut' or whatever else you want. But that isn't how it works with fractured communities spread all over the place. Especially when the topic is so private, limiting discussion and consensus. He then goes on to imply that 'submissive' and 'slave' have specific meanings and defines them as if referencing some authority when no such authority exists. This is a bit grating. The definitions are annoying too. While 'slave' may not be clearly defined, I don't think I've seen a single context/community where it was synonymous with 24/7 lifestyler. His definition of submissive is much closer to what most people use the word slave for. It was also implied (at a glance) that safewords were a sub thing, not a slave thing. People should note that safewords are an 80%+ of the BDSM community thing and giving them up is not done lightly. Anyway, still an interesting topic to discuss the terms as he defined them, I just don't want people to be under the illusion that this is the strictly proper use of those terms. Sorry to risk the derail. |
02-12-2013, 12:31 PM | #9 |
Whiny Weasel Hunter
|
I personally dislike the article it's written by someone who clearly thinks people can be pigeon-holed into particular roles and attributed a label by some governing body that's deemed them to be either sub or slave.
What happens to those that don't fall within either category -- should they be left feeling they don't belong in either camp? Life is rarely as black and white as the poster of that article would believe, I know many that would cross over both sets of boundaries or fall outside of either case. What about those who switch? I've also known those who have always had boundaries and limits until they met the one who made them feel they could give everything and trust in so completely. Humans are not simple creatures. It also misses completely one crucial element - that of communication. Just because someone has identified themselves as either sub or slave that it shouldn't be treated as gospel. Only through talking, sharing thoughts and feelings with one another plus the experience that comes from being together over a period of time can a couple truly know where they sit and what defines their relationship. There is no magic blueprint for bdsm - what would should be teaching people is how to discover who they are, what they like and understanding themselves and to be confident in expressing their desires, needs and limits to any potential suitor. |
02-13-2013, 01:16 AM | #10 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 9
|
Good post, agreed entirely. This forum needs a 'like' button.
__________________
I like torturing girls and stuff. PM if interested. I like playing with people of any experience, but especially love corrupting beginners <3. |
02-13-2013, 04:09 AM | #11 |
Member
|
People compartmentalize this stuff while they're still learning about it.
Personally, I find the distinction to be an arbitrary one. This is an article written by a person who's teaching herself(?) about what it means to be a sub versus a slave so that they don't cross a line they're afraid to cross, with some good points thrown in. An article like this is written by a self-aware person, and self-aware people tend to think a lot, and therefore have a lot of wisdom to share. As you get more and more experienced, these distinctions become more and more meaningless, and it instead becomes a part of who you are. |
02-13-2013, 04:40 PM | #12 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: U.K.
Posts: 113
|
I think it's interesting to read a persons thoughts and definitions of the terms we all use, particularly those of 'sub' and 'slave.' However they are just that, one persons own definitions and not necessarily those of any other person. I have found that withing the BDSM community there is very little if any agreement on the usage and definitions of any of the terms we all use. We define our lives and the way we live them to suit ourselves and to hell with what anyone else thinks.
Personally I have no problem with that at all, but it can sure be confusing some times. |
Advertisements |
|
|