[Non-Fiction] My Transformation

[thewilds]

Hi. I love that you are sharing your journey and that you are being so honest in the teling of it. You will be the one to make choices and some won't be easy. As long as you are open and honest with those you include in your experiences, you will be ok. If those, such as Nicole don't see that, or accept that you have other important things in your life too, then that isn't your fault.

All of this is a journey with some twists and turns. I'm very thankful you are still including "us" in yours.

The Wilds

[NaughtyDaddy]

I join thewilds in thanking you for being so open and honest to the members of GD following your journey.
I also want to say that you did the right thing: being honest about what you are and what you want.
I personly know how hard it is to be truthfully honest with those you want to befriend without hiding anything of your needs. Compromising without betraying what you are and what you want is most probably the hardest task to achieve as a human being. You are obviously doing it right here so do not change anything and stay honest with yourself. If you find people on the way who are unable to understand and accept your entire person then they're not for you, but nevertheless, never stop trying even if it's tough and believe me, I know it.
Kisses and hugs

[naked_lego]

Even though you have always wanted to live a life style like what you are living now doesn't mean you have to continue. People try things all the time and then decide it isn't for them but at least you have the knowing that you tried it. There is no shame in deciding that your old life style is more for you then your new life style. I wish you the best of luck in your journey!

[Arconious]

I'm a new person in this thread, but I would like to say, I'm proud of you for wanting something and having the courage to try it. It may work for the long term, it may not work for the long term, but trying something new/risky is the biggest step anyone can take, and I'm so happy you've been through the journey.

As for Nicole, if she can't understand that your school work is important to you, and you need some time for yourself to get it done, then that's her problem, not yours. A good person for you would be happy indulging both sides of you, the good student, and the good slut, and that can be done, just because one person didn't work out doesn't mean another one won't. I'm sorry it ended poorly, and I'm sorry she took out her anger on you, but I'm glad you stayed true to your feelings. Keep doing that, and you'll make it through. Also, even if you do decide to go back to how things were, you don't have to leave this one behind entirely, take the lessons you like, and bring them with you forward, life is too short not to live to the fullest.

[Meatballsurgery]

Like always I want to say that you should be really proud of yourself for what you have dared to do, takes a lot of courage to do what you have done my dear.

I also want to say that I am extremely proud of you for saying no to Nicole, if she can't give you space to do your homework and try trying to manipulate you into having sex with you over and over then she absolutely is not a true friend that cares for you for you.

Once again, I do hope to hear more about your journey where ever it ends up.

[shydarkgirl]

Here's a brief summary of my week, which was definitely less exciting than the week before, but I'm honestly glad about that.

Monday I went to my classes, dressed like usual in a crop top and miniskirt. After one class, one guy asked me out on a date. I said yes at first, but as we talked more, it became obvious that his idea of a date was a quick meal followed by sex at his place. So, I changed my answer to a firm no. Did people think I was good for an easy fuck just because of how I was dressed? Apparently so, but that's not who I am.

On Tuesday I wore a tight camisole and jean shorts. Nothing much happened, but in between classes, I am almost certain that I saw Nicole from a distance--and she was walking hand-in-hand with another girl. That kind of hurt. Apparently it didn't take her long to get over me. I guess my initial suspicions about her were true, after all. She didn't care about me as much as I thought she did--she mainly wanted my body. Am I sure I want to continue to dress like this, showing off my body so much, knowing it is likely to attract more people (girls and guys both) like that?

I wore one of my loose-fitting crop tops on Wednesday, along with shorts. That day was also fairly uneventful, but another guy asked me out on a date. I guess people are getting to know me a little better as the summer goes on, though I don't talk a whole lot in class. He seemed much more mature and intellectual than the guy who essentially asked me out for a fuck on Monday, so I agreed to go out on a date with him Thursday evening.

Thursday, I dressed in a tight crop top and booty shorts, to really show off my ass. This would be what I would wear on my date that evening as well. We went out right after our last class was over and had a nice dinner with good conversation. I felt like I could trust him, so we went back to his place afterwards, where he offered me drinks and tried to initiate some physical contact between us. He kept trying to get me to go back to his bedroom, and I knew what that meant. Were all guys after one thing? Or, again, am I attracting a certain type of guy because of how I dress?

Being honest, I am still enjoying showing off my body--it has come to be fun and enjoyable for me, if nothing else. But on the flip side, I am definitely not enjoying the type of people I seem to be attracting. So, what do I want for my future? I'm not sure yet how to solve that dilemma.

Nothing particularly interesting happened on Friday, and I decided not to go out anywhere Friday evening. I haven't decided yet if I want to go out to the mall or someplace this evening. Emotionally, it has certainly been a difficult week.

[NaughtyDaddy]

Hello sweetie.
Just read your last post and here are my thoughts about what you're living:

YES guys are attracted by women showing their bodies because for a guy that's a signal meaning sex.
NO all the people attracted by women showing their bodies are not all jerks.

BUT it is true that there are a HELLA LOT of jerks out there.....

So on my opinion, and I'm glad you're still enjoying and having fun in your new lifestyle, you should treat all those just-for-sex persons like they treat you: materialy => meaning without any feelings.
I assume that you have now reached the point where you'll have to clearly separate the fun from the real deal but it doesn't mean that you have to eliminate the fun to feel safe. Don't you think?

[MasterZp]

You are doing well and I'm pleased you are enjoying things most of the time.

I think you have done really well and you should be proud of yourself. And I think you are starting to see the world in a more natural light. And very little of that has to do with how you are dressed.

As another poster said, there are a lot of jerks out there. How you are dressed has only a little to do with why you are getting their attention. You show confidence and sexiness by dressing as you do. THAT is what attracting the attention. Everyone likes a women like that, as you are seeing, even if you don't always feel that way. They don't know that at first. I think you just need to take one day at a time, and follow your instincts. They seem to be pretty accurate so far. You have had some fun and had some learning experiences. Don't be in a hurry and just enjoy each day.

Thanks for sharing your journey with us and keep having fun.

[shydarkgirl]

Originally Posted by MasterZp

You are doing well and I'm pleased you are enjoying things most of the time.

I think you have done really well and you should be proud of yourself. And I think you are starting to see the world in a more natural light. And very little of that has to do with how you are dressed.

I hear you--but I don't think I agree. When I used to dress very modestly, not showing anything, I received no interest whatsoever from guys. Now I receive lots of interest, but nothing inside of me has changed--only my outward dress.

[shydarkgirl]

I debated for a while, but finally I did decide to go to the mall Saturday evening. I felt like it would do me some good to be amongst other people, rather than just sitting in my dorm by myself. Now, the question was, how much skin did I want to show?

As time went on, I was steadily becoming less and less excited at the thought of dressing like a slut. I still enjoyed it, yes, but I didn't enjoy the people that seemed to be drawn to me when I dressed like that. So for this outing, I decided to wear something that wasn't quite so slutty. Of course, I no longer owned anything that could be called modest, but some outfits still showed more than others.

I dressed in a v-neck t-shirt and jean shorts, with nothing under, of course (I was enjoying not wearing a bra or underwear, I have to admit--it is freeing and just more comfortable, once I got used to it) along with my standard 4-inch heels, which I was wearing pretty much all the time now.

I drove to the mall, went inside, and walked around for a while with nothing too exciting happening other than the occasional guy taking a glance or two at the less-than-usual (but apparently still noticeable) amount of cleavage that I was showing. After a while, I stopped to get something to eat at the food court.

When I was about halfway through my meal, a really cute girl walked over to my table. She commented that she thought she recognized me from one of her classes--and she was right; I realized we did have a class together, though we had never spoken. She sat down and we started to talk, and it quickly became obvious that she had an interest in me--but because of how I tend to dress when I go to my classes, she thought I was "out of her league", as she worded it.

I assured her that couldn't be farther from the truth, and I wasn't that type of girl at all. As we continued to talk, at some point I asked her opinion on something--if she thought I was an easy fuck because of how I dressed. She said yes, that is what she had thought, and that is in fact why she had never approached me in class. She felt attracted to me, but she is the type of girl who wants a solid relationship, not just sex. She told me that she came up to talk to me this time because I was dressed more conservatively.

That definitely gave me something to think about--something I continue to think about as I type this report. This girl, who definitely seems to be more of my type of girl than Nicole was, didn't approach me in class because of how I typically dressed. Thus, my second thoughts continued...

After we finished eating (she had ordered something too), we sat and talked a while longer, then eventually we walked around the mall together, just getting to know each other. We did start to hold hands. I felt very comfortable with her--like there was some sort of instant connection. Nicole may have been exciting and fun, but I never felt like this with her.

Her name is Abby, and she is a bit on the nerdy side, but not too bad--which to me, is just perfect. She is a serious student but I think she also has fun when the time is right. She started college last year and decided to take some summer classes to get ahead, so she's just a year older than me. And I must say, she is as cute as can be! She is short and small built with glasses, but I found her to be very attractive. (Should I consider myself bisexual now, or still bi-curious?) In body size and appearance, she was similar to Nicole in many ways--but she was definitely not similar in terms of personality!

Before we knew it, time had flown by and the mall was getting ready to close. We decided to go back to my dorm, though we would of course have to drive separately to get there. When we got back, we spent a few more hours together, just talking late into the night. I'm not sure I've ever felt so comfortable with another person before in any type of situation.

Nothing sexual happened, though we did end up spending the night together just because it had gotten so late. We both learned that the other sleeps naked, but as we crawled into bed together, there was little to no sexual tension--just comfort as we cuddled up together, naked, and fell asleep. As I drifted off to sleep, I thought...this is definitely the kind of girl I could fall in love with! And maybe, I already had.

Sunday morning, we awoke in each other's arms, and just enjoyed being there together for a while before getting up and getting dressed. Abby, of course, put the same clothes back on since she hadn't gone back to her dorm yet. I showed her my closet (I had told her about my transformation journey during our conversation the previous evening) and asked her to pick out what I would wear for the day.

She chose something similar to what I had worn the evening before at the mall. I asked if she liked to see me in some of the more revealing clothes I had often worn to class, and she admitted that she did enjoy looking at my body when I was dressed like that, but that she also didn't want people to think I was a slut when I really wasn't. That, again, gave me something to think about.

By the way, Abby was dressed fairly modestly, but not extremely so. She wore a shirt that didn't show cleavage (her breasts were on the smaller side anyway) but did show just the tinest bit of her midriff, which I found very attractive, and she wore jeans instead of shorts.

After getting dressed, we ate breakfast together, then parted ways for the rest of the day, because we both had school work for different classes that we needed to get done. We gave each other a simple kiss on the cheek and a big hug as we parted ways, knowing we'd see each other again the next day.

Do I really want to be a slut, or even just dress like one? My second thoughts were increasing, as my transformation journey took another unexpected turn with meeting Abby.

For class today, I chose a somewhat less revealing outfit, and Abby and I have plans to get together again this evening.

[thewilds]

It is interesting to watch your evolution along the journey. Your own insights as to the reactions and responses from others as to your manner of your dress is interesting. Would Abby have come up to you at the mall if you had dressed more slutty? She says not, so to meet someone whom you feel more connected with, does this mean you need to become more modest in you choice of clothes?

What do you wish to accomplish? Has the outcome changed? If your goal is to not sleep with or have sexual relations with just anybody, then what do you need to do to attract those you wish to have relations with? I think you've already proven to yourself you could have sex with "anyone" as you've been approached and had opportunity on more than one occasion. The question comes back to who you want and are willing to have sexual relations with? I still would like to think that you as a person and not your clothes is what will attract thre right person to you, but maybe that isn't the way it is? Or, maybe, continue, but continue to be selective and deal with weeding out the wheat from the chaff, just as you have been doing!

I think your journey is still early on. You've already had some very interesting interactions as a result. It is going to be exciting to see where you began your journey and transformation and see where it actually takes you. What detours you take, or completly different directions you end up.

Whatever happens, I love your honesty and realism, but mostly, I appreciate that you don't seem willing to discard your core values along the way. Stay true to yourself. I can't wait for what lies ahead for you!

[naked_lego]

Not to sound mean or judgy because that is not what I am doing but I feel like I could have guessed that that whole transformation could have gotten old. Now maybe it is just from personal experience but when over indulged in those areas that we don't get to live very often can get tiresome. It kinda reminds me of a quote from Star Trek Original Series

"You may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all, as wanting"
-Spock

There is a chance that being slutty is a life choice you wanted and had the opportunity to express and loved. Although someone who is raised a certain way finds it hard to break those habits. I would say I dress very modestly as well. But the day I finally got the courage to wear my mini skirt was a very fun day for me. If I were to do it all the time then the rush would be gone unless I've always been a "slut" at heart. I guess what I am saying is that I like the rush of wearing something slutty every now and then and I don't want to lose that feeling when I do.

Your transformation story is such a pleasure to read. The personal troubles you have gone through to the grand sexual encounters are all very intriguing. I'm glad I get to read it <3

[shydarkgirl]

Thanks to thewilds and naked_lego for the posts above. I'm definitely in a period of uncertainty regarding which direction I want to go in, and I'm sure that's obvious.

I don't have much of anything new to share. Abby and I continue to spend some time together, though nothing excessive like it was with Nicole. We haven't yet done anything of a sexual nature, and that is more than okay with me. I am enjoying every minute of it!

[WILDGUY]

awesome read. how about you be the seductress this time round

[Meatballsurgery]

I would think that you are a bit of a flasher/exhibitionist which is to say you like getting the looks of showing off your body in different stages of clothing, this does not mean obviously that you are a slut or want to be one at all.

That is at least what I have read into what you have written about your journey, and I think that you are being very brave and you should be proud <3