Old 12-21-2017, 04:00 PM   #1
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Information Dangers of Blackmail

BM - Blackmail
pBM - Play blackmail
rBM - Real blackmail

Only partake in BM activities when the submissive brings up the idea. A dominant shouldn't use BM as a means to keep the submissive in check or to make sure the submissive does as you command. When a dominant brings up the idea and not the submissive, it's clear that the dominant wants to use it or otherwise the BM content shouldn't have to exist.¹

Play blackmail - Consensual - The idea behind this is actually rather stimulating but ground rules must exist and boundaries to which must be adhered must be set. The idea that someone has a certain 'power' over you that others do not have can 'force' you to do things that you normally wouldn't do is mentally stimulating. The fear of being exposed to those you wish to be kept in the dark about certain aspects of your life can be thrilling as long as the actual 'threat' never reaches fruition.²

Real blackmail - Non-consensual - The concept is frightening, hidden in a shell made of one's fantasy. Some fantasize about being blackmailed, seeing only the imaginary shell which hides the unpleasant truth. There are no boundaries to which the blackmailer must adhere and no assurance that the compromising information will be kept secret. Blackmail is a downward spiral that may result in depression, money loss, anxiety and fears which should be prevented by not playing into the hands of the blackmailer. In the case of real blackmail, local authorities should be contacted for further information on how to deal with the blackmailer. Report to getDare Staff to take action against blackmail users.

Methods of coercing without blackmail
Fears are part of blackmail. Fear is the part what compels you to listen to the blackmailer, thus the method of the blackmailer to 'force' you to do something. So what if you pluck the element of fear away from the entire concept of blackmail and use it otherwise? Something as simple as "if you don't listen to me, I will never talk to you again" can instill fear.³ Threatening the submissive to take something valuable away caries a significant lower chance of causing long-term damage to the social life of the submissive.

Some argue that the above is not as effective a pBM. pBM contains mainly empty threats (unwanted exposure) whereas taking something valuable away can legally be done with the prior consent of the submissive. Valuable things to take away from the submissive may be social media accounts, gaming accounts, electronic equipment or access to devices or services. Before pBM starts, the submissive could give the blackmailer account details or access to a device for the blackmailer to use as 'a hostage' that will be released only when the blackmailer so desires.

It's relatively safe. However, you still risk not getting back what you gave to the blackmailer. And more importantly, whatever you give to your blackmailer; be sure that it does not contain sensitive information such as e-mail addresses, names, phone numbers, dates of birth and such things. Additionally, take your common sense into account and don't give anything away that contain purchased products, a balance (virtual money) or access to bank details.

Real blackmail stories
There have been several occasions (a lot more than several) when someone used rBM on another user on getDare. Unfortunately, these events could've been prevented. The victim usually made a few wrong decisions resulting in a blackmailer seizing the opportunity to BM the victim. Some of the victims didn't even give pBM a thought or never wanted to approach the concepts of BM. So be careful with sensitive information regardless of what you believe another person wants it for.

The following short stories happened on getDare and are not made up. Anonymousity is my priority so all users are refered to as a male.
  • Some users like to get drunk before they log in on getDare so they worry less about the consequences of doing kinky things. This resulted in letting a blackmailer obtain nude pictures of the drunk person. Of course, the person didn't expect the other user whom he sent pictures to would rBM him. Once sober again, I heard about what happens and the first thing I thought was: don't get drunk.
  • A user thought it would be fine to send someone pictures of himself that neither included his face nor anything identifiable so the pictures can be linked to him. Later on, he gave his getDare account details to the other user as well (for fun I presume) and by doing so, the other user obtained his e-mail address used to register on getDare. This e-mail address contained his full name which resulted in the other user finding out who he really is. The other user started to rBM him. Luckily, in the end, it all worked out and the blackmailer regretted trying to rBM him. Don't share accounts.
  • In case you didn't know, lots of users on getDare are horny while they spend time here. Unfortunately, horniness can work to your disadvantage. Usually applied to people of the penis, you think more about the thrill and less about the consequences. This resulted in rBM and once the user orgasmed, his clowdy mind became clear again and he knew that he made a mistake. Don't make hasty decisions when horny.
  • Some users sign up using application forms just to have someone BM them. Quite a bunch of them sign up without talking to the blackmailer in advance. As you guessed, it turned out bad for the applicant and the pictures were spread over the internet. Except for banning the blackmailer, there was nothing I could do to stop the spread of the pictures. Establish trust before anything else.
My view on blackmail
Even though BM is illegal, I want people to experiment or enact it if they so desire. But consider everything that could happen when you might be blackmailed. And more importantly, think very long and hard about the person that will be the blackmailer rather than filling out any BM application form you come across. Try to minimise the risk of damage by taking everything into account before you do anything else. The bolded lines found in the short stories above are examples of the things you should follow up before you decide to start anything involving BM.

My experiences
I have some experience with pBM and fortunately no experience with rBM. But I know very well that pBM can change into rBM at any point, regardless of whether you know, trust or love the one who blackmails you. I have always kept these thoughts in the back of my mind when I took a leap of faith and let someone blackmail me. Additionally, I have experience with short-term blackmail period in which I was the blackmailer and both parties (I and the blackmailee) liked the experience.

Aside from direct involvement in the blackmail relation, I have had people come to me with the problem of ongoing rBM. Before I had a nice tag under my username, I was not aware that such problems exist on getDare. That is why I created this thread; to make people aware that -even when everything is consensual- blackmail always can have a huge negative impact on your life.

I hope that you found this thread useful. Comment below if you disagree with anything that I have said or if you have any questions. Or just comment anyway.

¹ Source: no title by Big_Joe
² Source: "Play Blackmail vs. Real Blackmail" by Ch3rry B0mb.
³ Source: "Fear and Blackmails/Threats" by LillianCabell
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Old 12-24-2017, 12:30 AM   #2
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Thanks for this thread.

I was on getDare back when I was underage (when the age limit was 13) and someone attempted to coerce me into performing sex acts on webcam by blackmailing me with a photo they had of me. I was terrified. I ended up blocking them and leaving getDare for a couple of years and as far as they know they didn’t do anything - I am sure they eventually came to the same realisation as me that possessing or distributing that photo would be illegal.

I think it’s important for everyone here to remember that getting off isn’t the highest aim. People you speak to are real people with real lives and if you mess them around, that isn’t without consequences. Even though this person never carried through his threats, it had an impact on my mental health and self esteem for years.
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Old 12-24-2017, 07:52 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kimchi View Post
Thanks for this thread.

I was on getDare back when I was underage (when the age limit was 13) and someone attempted to coerce me into performing sex acts on webcam by blackmailing me with a photo they had of me. I was terrified. I ended up blocking them and leaving getDare for a couple of years and as far as they know they didn’t do anything - I am sure they eventually came to the same realisation as me that possessing or distributing that photo would be illegal.

I think it’s important for everyone here to remember that getting off isn’t the highest aim. People you speak to are real people with real lives and if you mess them around, that isn’t without consequences. Even though this person never carried through his threats, it had an impact on my mental health and self esteem for years.
Thank you for your post. Very true. Most of us really DON"T want the reality of the Blackmail fantasy. Glad things worked out for you.
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Old 02-22-2020, 07:24 AM   #4
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I want to bump this thread so people can see it again, and hopefully, it can be helpful to someone that perhaps may need it!


Excellent post by the OP!!!
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Old 02-22-2020, 08:31 AM   #5
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Default Very good post!

Thanks for a very good post with a lot of good information about blackmail

I am just just getting back to getdare but have been involved for a few years.

One point that I would like to add here is that things have changed in the sense that people are posting more very personal information now. This is something that I noticed now and did not see it as much in the past.

Where I am going with this is the posting and sharing of very personal information.
Banking, Financial, Medical Information-Things like that. This kind of information is bad to share in my opinion.

I have done dares but always with a fun kind of to them.
But these kinds of things can cause real problems too.

It would be interesting how others feel about this.
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Old 02-22-2020, 09:32 AM   #6
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Information Personal Information, and more

I agree with you sallygirl,

I am very concerned about the amount of information I have seen posted by people, and not only direct information, but access to information via open computer access using Teamviewer or AnyDesk.

This is the area I am most familiar with, so I will only focus on the dangers of granting someone remote control of your PC, and someone else will have to speak up for Dare related exposure...

Now, I imagine this is the point where you say "But, you have a whole blog post on Anydesk and giving control", and yes, I do. But, I don't give everyone that pops up trying to log in access. First, and Most important is a conversation.
Don't EVER let someone blindly take control of your computer. Say Hi, or Hello first and do not let them in if they cannot reply to you.
1. They are likely using a phone or small device that isn't easy to type with. If this is the case, then what are they going to do on your computer. I had one person that had a problem with the pointer in that it was "right click-locked" and dragging icons around etc. I stopped that connection because they would have moved files/directories all over the place...
2. Make sure you have an idea of what a person plans to do with you. If they can't talk to you, then assume the worst case, and deny them access.

The second thing about me and any access I allow is that I know what I am doing, and I am very prepared for anything that could/may go wrong. I have 20+ years of computer knowledge and education/experience. This sadly is not the case for most people offering their computer without any hesitation.

Everyone gives up access for their own reasons, but whatever those are, there are many reasons why someone would make the connection and take control of that computer. For example, one MAJOR point of interest (If I was trying to Blackmail someone) is passwords and logins to sites. I won't say how I'd get that info because I don't want to give ideas, just know it's possible to lose it all in one fell swoop!

I'll wrap up with this point: Know who you are giving access to ALL THE TIME! If you have a gut feeling about something, then LISTEN to it, it is most likely telling you something for a reason.

If someone is overly aggressive with you, pressuring you into giving them info, DO NOT. Never be pushed into revealing yourself, or making regrettable choices. When someone wants to get into your computer more than you want to have them take over, then ACCESS DENIED.

Here is one I had try, and I did investigate this and found his location/routing path, and ISP, etc..
AnyDesk popped up with this warning screen, and I knew this was a Scammer trying to gain access from the log files and from YouTube videos "ScammersRevolt" where scammers are baited and destroyed. This connection is from a member here, master_horny. I traced it to him via his messages on my profile wall (reported and deleted) compared with the Anydesk Log/Trace files.

Phew... enough, I've said lot so far and should stop here. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or concerns about anything. I considering cybersecurity to be very important and I get very deeply involved if I think someone is trying to wrong me, or anyone else.

Let me know if anyone would like me to make a more official blog post on this topic, and I will do that.
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Old 03-14-2020, 01:20 PM   #7
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This is actually a really nice reading material. I always found myself attracted to blackmail but never actually did it because there has to be a real level of trust to do so.

As a rule of thumb always use a secondary email to create an account here and before doing anything have a conversation. Losing 5 minutes talking will be better long term, you never know sometimes youre not comparible to play with but make interesting friends.

Also if things go further than you can handle, STOP and ask for help. If you have good friends and family relations they will help you no matter what.

Your own mental and phisical health go first always. Never give info or pics you couldnt see posted online, you never know who you play with. Actually i tend to not trust accounts here or on kik less than 6 month old.
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Old 04-02-2020, 02:09 AM   #8
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I've been thinking about this issue a lot recently since the horrible Korean "nth room" scandal surfaced. (Google if you haven't heard about it, but be warned, it's very very disturbing.)

So, everyone should be careful and cautious in what they do when it comes to (p)BM... but it's equally important that we as a kinky community show zero tolerance for those crossing the border into real blackmail. There is no grey area when it comes to consent and criminal activity, and we have to do the best job we can to ban (and more if necessary and possible) any asshole who crosses the line, as well as support and help the victims.
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