[Fiction] Plane ride

[truthpick]

Paragraph 1

I am currently on an airplane seat, flying to Australia. Seems normal right? Wrong! I am beside you. You are having way too fun. Once we got to cruising altitude, You told me to go to the washroom and insert your favourite vibe, a remote controlled on. You also told me to remove my underwear! Thankfully, You allowed me to keep my sweater on so I can at least hide my perky nipples clamped with the clover clamps. I don't really fancy having to go back to the washroom, but I'd probably have to XD It was such a struggle to keep the vibe from falling on my way back to my seat. My leggings just can't keep them in place as easily as panties can. It doesn't help that it's a rather long plane ride. 12 hours of torment doesn't bode well for me.



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Was dared to write a story
- Story is total of 5 paragraphs
- I'll post the rest if there's interest

[forrest.livingston8]

Originally Posted by truthpick

I am currently on an airplane seat, flying to Australia. Seems normal right? Wrong! I am beside you.

The transition here in plot is a bit confusing. I'd suggest "I am currently on an airplane seat, flying to Australia. Seems normal right? Wrong! You're sitting next to me."

This better fits the rest of your story's wording style.

Originally Posted by truthpick

XD

The frowning face of disappointment in including an emoticon in a story has no words besides the mildly disappointed frown.

Originally Posted by truthpick

It doesn't help that it's a rather long plane ride. 12 hours of torment doesn't bode well for me.

Good hook for the next parts.

I would be interested in reading the rest, although I suggest that, if they have time delays in them (such as if the second part starts after two hours, etc), you post them at the correct time delay.

[Master.]

Umm, I think you may have misunderstood. There is no transition in plot, she's on an aeroplane with someone sat next to her (even you admit it, your suggestion as to how it should be changed has exactly the same meaning), I have no idea how this is confusing for you...

The frowning face of disappointment in not reading through the story properly has no words has no words besides the mildly disappointed frown.

[forrest.livingston8]

Originally Posted by Master.

Umm, I think you may have misunderstood. There is no transition in plot, she's on an aeroplane with someone sat next to her (even you admit it, your suggestion as to how it should be changed has exactly the same meaning), I have no idea how this is confusing for you...

The introduction of the antagonist is abrupt, does not fit the style of the writing preceding or following, and it does not demonstrate coherence to the attempted plot.

It is a transitional point in the story as the story is set up to give the plotline "I am currently on an airplane seat, flying to Australia." which defines what could very well be the start of a non-transitioned plot to this story.

The story then goes on to states " Seems normal right? Wrong!" which defines a transition or plot twist. It is an extremely early, not very deep, but properly satisfying for the requirements of this story plot twist or transition.

The transition moves the plot into an entirely new direction by stating "I am beside you."

If she were to instead rewrite that section to state "We are currently on an air flying to Australia. Seems normal right? Wrong! You are having way too fun.", that would remove the issue entirely as well as clean up some other minorly questionable elements which I did not mention.

My original rewrite of "I am currently on an airplane seat, flying to Australia. Seems normal right? Wrong! You're sitting next to me." retains some of the minorly questionable elements, but it redefines the transition in a way that supports the rest of the writing style of the story as well as allows the introduction to be less abrupt.

But thank you for your attempt at clearing up your own misconception with my post, as it has allowed me to further clarify my remark. Constructive feedback of constructive feedback is always appreciated.

The frowning face of disappointment in abusing the frowning face of disappointment in a subject has a few words besides the mildly disappointed frown: "Pumpernickle sandwiches are not an acceptable form of royal rebuke, my child."

Actually, that may have been words that the frowning face of disappointment in abusing the frowning face of disappointment in a subject stole from this fellow:

[truthpick]

Ok ok. My English sucks, but it was never really meant to be a great work of art. It was just a dare/task I had to do. It was more about conveying my idea than writing it properly. I didn't edit nor proofread it. I was also distracted by being naked, edging after every paragraph and having clothespins on my nipples. I didn't expect to post it. I was just told to.

I'll be sure to get you to proofread my essays if I ever go back to school.

Make peace not war

[Master90]

Post the rest please

[truthpick]

I am currently on an airplane seat, flying to Australia. Seems normal right? Wrong! You are beside me, having way too much fun. Once we got to cruising altitude, You told me to go to the washroom and insert your favourite vibe, a remote controlled one. You also told me to remove my underwear! Thankfully, You allowed me to keep my sweater on so I can at least hide my perky nipples clamped with the clover clamps. I don't really fancy having to go back to the washroom, but I'd probably have to. It was such a struggle to keep the vibe from falling as I made my way back to my seat. My leggings just can't keep them in place as easily as my panties could. It doesn't help that it's a rather long plane ride. 12 hours of torment doesn't bode well for me.

You're being nice so far. The vibe is still on low. You kissed me on the cheek before pulling my face towards you. We were on the last row and there were only 2 seats instead of 3. You were sitting on the window seat, so I couldn't really see what was happening behind me. You turned the vibe to a higher setting before snaking your hand under my shirt and massaged my breasts, carefully avoiding the clamps, I tried to pull away but You simply yanked on the chain connecting the clamps to warn me not to. I had to struggle not to make noises. You asked me questions and whispered naughty things, but didn't allow me to answer, instead shutting me up with kisses. "How is my slut? Horny? Wet? Does snogging in public arouse you? Maybe I should show one of the flight attendants and ask him if he likes the decorations on my slut's tits; Maybe even ask him if he'd like to see, to feel how soft they are." I've always loved Sir's voice and this naughty whispering is just making me even more wet. At the same time, I was terrified. I didn't want to involve other people and I really didn't want to do this in public! I didn't even notice how much squirming and gyrating I was doing until a stewardess came up to us and asked, "Everything ok?" "Y-yes,"I said shakily. I was wondering why you pulled away, I got my answer. You took pity on me and turned the vibe off. "Yes, I'm fine. Perfectly fine," I said more steadily with a smile and she left us alone. When she left, you whispered, "I think we should ask her if she wants her pussy eaten by you." I playfully hit my fist on your arm in protest. You gave me that look that said I was in trouble, but I didn't really care. I'm in a rather playful mood, sort of like when I have a drink in my system.

"Go to the washroom, and play with your clit until you edge twice. Remove the clamps, then come back here," you ordered. I stood and went to the washroom, and was disappointed that there was a line. I think you knew there was a line and so chose that time. I hugged the sweater more tightly to make sure that the clamps don't show. I didn't even care anymore that the act pulled on them. The number of people around me, the stewards, the photograpers taking pictures out of the emergency door window and the people waiting for the washroom made me nervous. Then I felt it. You increased the intensity! I turned around and saw you in the line, behind me. "What are you doing?" I mouthed. You just smile in response and turn it even higher. "Ok ok! Sorry! Please?" I mouthed back. You just smiled, turned me around and gave me a backhug. When the next person entered, and I was next in line, you released me from the backhug. I thought it was the end of your torment, but no. You put it to the highest setting and I had to stand awkwardly to support myself. You happily allowed me to lean on you, but it was so embarrassing because all I wanted to do was to gyrate against you, against the vibe and satisfy my urge to cum. You kept it up the whole time and I was hoping you'd turn it off or turn it down once I entered the stall. No. You kept it going. I started playing with myself but I couldn't stop myself from cumming. I was moaning, biting my arm to try and stop myself from making noises, failing miserably. When I cum without permission, my rule is that I'm to stop touching myself. I hastily but reluctantly pulled my hand away from my clit. I prepared to exit, washing and wiping the cum clean. When I clicked the door open, you turned the vibe off. I think you heard me cum, because you have that look that told me I'm in even more trouble.

Once back, I stood up to let you in, but you told me to take the window seat. We sat in silence and I was getting really nervous about what you had in store for me. You turned the vibe to highest setting when the steward came and asked if I wanted chicken or pork for my food. Then you turned it down, at least when the next set came to ask me what I wanted to drink. You ordered some alcohol for us as well as water. When they were gone, you told me to drink the alcohol. I didn't really want to. "You'll need it." You said and so I relented. "Whilst eating, I want your other hand playing with your pussy. You have until the stewards return to make yourself edge as many times as possible. The amount you do will determine your punishment when we land," you ordered before handing me the blanket. I went under the blanket and reluctantly put my hand inside my leggings and started fingering my clit. Would've been an easy task with the vibe on, but you kept it off the whole time. Thankfully we sat on the left side so I could kind of hide what my left hand was doing. I only managed to edge once before the stewardess came. I was just too nervous to do more. I was always looking out to where the stewards and the people were. Plus, I already came so I wasn't as horny as I was before cumming. You gave me more chances during the flight. You made me edge without the blanket covering me. Then made me edge without the pull-down tray covering me. Then told me to pull down my leggings in my seat without anything covering me. Then told me to edge. I was down to my dress-length shirt. When the co-pilot announced that we had 30 minutes till landing, I thought you'd allow me to go to the washroom and remove the vibe. You didn't. Instead, you yourself did. I sat on the seat while the vibe was at it's highest. I bit my tongue to try and not make noises. You allowed me to hug into you and muffle my noises that way. "Am I not removing the vibe? We're about to land. I'm sure I won't pass security." You smirked and I was afraid that you'd make me keep it. A few minutes later you made us switch seats. You pulled up the sidearm and hugged me with one hand before pulling the vibe out yourself. You pulled your hand but keep me leaning against you as you brought out the tissue paper and wiped the vibe clean, before stuffing it in the pocket in front of my seat. I blushed thinking what the cleaners would think.

I was nervous at customs and immigration because I was still only wearing a sweater and my dress length shirt. Thankfully we didn't get stopped and we were able to leave the airport pretty easily. Once we cleared customs and immigration, you pulled me into a family bathroom and locked the door. "Undress." I hesitated for a bit. "It's locked. Undress and don't make me ask you again," you said sternly. I bit my lip and started to remove my sweater and shirt. You tied my arms together behind my back using leather cuffs before spreading my legs wide. You then gagged me. You didn't do anything for a while, just circled me and teased me, groping my bum cheeks and tits. You took your mean flogger and pulled it between your hands making it snap. I flinched. You haven't used that much on me because I'm still not very used to it. You stood behind me and I waited for the blow on my bum but was surprised when you hit my pussy with it. Ouch! I'm glad you gagged me. I was protesting through my gag as you whipped my pussy 6 times. I was breathing hard. It hurts more than clit snaps! You then made me bend over the sink and caned, strapped and paddled my bum. I should've really worried if I would be able to sit, but instead all I could think about was whether there was a family outside waiting to use the stall. The thought kept me distracted and I'm pretty sure you were able to get more spanks in that usual, especially since you also spanked me before the plane ride. I wasn't surprised to hear your zipper being pulled down after the spanking. You took my swollen but wet pussy fast and hard in that family bathroom. Despite my swollen pussy, it was still fun. You came in me and didn't allow me to clean up, instead just told me to dress. I'm blushing at the thought of people finding out what we've done as we walked towards the cab. I'd have to say though, the ride to the lodge wasn't fun. I was squirming the whole time, my bum still aching despite the padded seat. Then I realized a horrible thought. You booked a private shibari lesson and I'm sure you'll have me do them while naked. They're going to see my marked bum! It's silly to worry about other people knowing about how kinky we are. Silly, when they are also kinky, the masters of kinky.

[forrest.livingston8]

Originally Posted by truthpick

Ok ok. My English sucks, but it was never really meant to be a great work of art. It was just a dare/task I had to do. It was more about conveying my idea than writing it properly. I didn't edit nor proofread it. I was also distracted by being naked, edging after every paragraph and having clothespins on my nipples. I didn't expect to post it. I was just told to.

Not a problem. When you asked if there was interest, I decided to show my interest by attempting to help you with constructive criticism. Seeing how you aren't looking for that, though, I'll merely just state that I found the story to be as enjoyable as most such stories, which is decently interesting.

Given your writing conditions, I'd say you deserve a reward from your master, which you surely got already.

Originally Posted by truthpick

I'll be sure to get you to proofread my essays if I ever go back to school.

You cannot afford the fee for my services in that regard. Not unless you can get your essays stuffed into erotica acceptable for posting on this site to trick me, ergo bypassing the requirements entirely.

...I'll be waiting for such trickery.

[Nzrunner]

Miss Truth,
I just wanted to say that I thoroughly enjoyed your story and if you ever think continue it or write another one you will have an avid and happy reader.

Nzrunner

[truthpick]

Thanks Nz, Forrest! I hope it wasn't too long. I'm glad you enjoyed it

[forrest.livingston8]

Originally Posted by truthpick

Thanks Nz, Forrest! I hope it wasn't too long. I'm glad you enjoyed it

I'd say it was about the right length. For web based writing and erotica, the paragraphs were a bit too large, but your prompt required five paragraphs so this was a limitation of the prompt. Good twist on the ending, as well.

It'd be interesting to read something you've done for the sake of writing, and not for the sake of a dare.

[Nzrunner]

Originally Posted by truthpick

Thanks Nz, Forrest! I hope it wasn't too long. I'm glad you enjoyed it

Miss Truth,
I love reading so you could never write a story that was to long for me.

[Igglybabe]

lovely short buzz story! Love to hear another like this.