[Fiction] The Co-Ed Experiment

[ASlaveKindaGuy]

This is my first story, hope you enjoy!!

*****

Max was really nervous about going to camp. This wasnt any ordinary sleepaway camp. This camp was an experiment on how males and females (aged 16) got along in co-ed conditions. Max walked down the stairs and off the bus. He was already sweating, but he knew others would be even more scared, so he wasnt going to show his fear. Max and all the other campers were virgins, and paid $500 to be at this camp for a week. Max saw many campers talking to new or old friends, happy to be with somebody they know. Max was alone, as most of his friends were not virgins. Max followed the signs pointing to a large brick building that was called the check-up house. Max walked inside and wrote his name on a list. He nervously pulled out his book, hoping to relax. "Stop shaking!" He told himself," do you WANT to be called a wimp?" As he started calming down, a blonde boy about the same size as max sat down next to him. "Hey, i'm Devin. I dont know anybody here, do you?" Max shook hands and answered "Max. and i'm alone." Cool nice to meet you" replied Devin. He then started listening to music, obviously nervous. "Max Olding!" Yelled a woman dressed in the councilor uniform. Max rose, nodded to Devin, then started his walk down the cooridor, following the woman.

Max entered a room, and sat down on a red leather chair. "Hello Max" smiled a woman sitting across from him. The room looked like a room you get your check-up in. A few chairs, a raised table to lie down on, and a sink with a few cupboards. "Hello" he replied.
"Now, we need to make sure you are a virgin and that you are healthy. Please lay down on your back." She said gesturing towards the table. Max rose and shakily walked towards the table. He laid down, getting comfortable and nodded towards the woman. As the woman started checking his eyes, ears, and nose, she said, "I am Doctor Megan Blooring, but you can call me Meg. No need to be formal" she said smiling. "Ok Max, now this might be kind of weird, but you should get used to it. Please remove all your clothes.
Max gasped, but did as she said, knowing this would happen a lot in the next week. He laid down on his back, and looked at the Doctor. She said,"I need to take your temperature and this is the best way. If you dont mind, could you spread open your cheeks?" Max, very nervous, took his hands to his butt and pulled apart the two cheeks. She inserted a a white rod into his hole, and he let loose a small gasp. The doctor giggled, and said "Never had anything there before, have you?" After two minutes of pleasure, she pulled it out, earning another gasp from Max. "Now we need to see your penis, so please turn around. Max turned around, feeling humiliated but strangely aroused. Megan put both hands on his balls, while Max uttered a small moan. She giggled again, putting her hands on the tip of his dick, and after rubbing around, she said "this is to make sure it it still a virgin." After 5 short minutes of pleasure, she said, "Now, we need your cum samples. Have you ever had a handjob?" She inquired
"No ma'am. Just my own." He sheepishly added. "Well get ready for an amazing experience." Right after she said that she started pumping at his already erect penis, making multiple moans and groans escape from him. Since he was already sexually excited, it only took him a minute to arch his back and let loose a loud long groan. A thick white cream escaped his dick and went flying into a tube held in front. After rubbing her hands a few more times to make sure he was empty, she walked over to the cupboard. She wrote his name on it and locked it inside. "Congratulations" she said. "You passed."

[Officelover]

Hmm. It's pretty good so far. I wonder what you're going to do to poor Max, I can tell he has no idea what he's getting into

Some tips: I would definitely run this through Microsoft Word before posting. A couple spelling/grammar errors, but nothing too glaring. Make your paragraphs shorter--it's easier on the eyes, and each line of dialogue should be in its own paragraph.

Other than that, it's pretty good. I'd be interested to see where you take it. A word to the wise: your readers will appreciate it more if you show, rather than tell. Instead of saying something like "Max was really nervous about going to camp," your reader would understand just as well if you described how Max was nervous--was he jittery with a cup of tea, was he biting his fingernails? Etc.

Keep up the good work!

[Ethan2cu]

love the start of this. can't wait for the next part...

[ASlaveKindaGuy]

Thanks for the advice! I will use it when i write the next part!

[ASlaveKindaGuy]

Originally Posted by ASlaveKindaGuy

Thanks for the advice! I will use it when i write the next part!

Oh god damn. I wrote a really long chapter but my wifi died and it got deleted! Sorry for the wait, but i cant write anymore today

[emmah100]

More Please. (; I am really enjoying this. Cant wait for the next installment.

[ASlaveKindaGuy]

Should I continue this story?

[uzaho]

Originally Posted by ASlaveKindaGuy

Should I continue this story?

Do you want to? Then do it. Flex your creative muscles. Write long and write well. Seeking validation and affirmation of your future efforts isn't necessary. Either people will enjoy what you've written and respond in kind or they won't.

I'm not trying to be a bitch, I'm just saying you should write because you desire to do so.

I'll offer some advice though: Don't skimp on proper formatting and punctuation. Poorly structured paragraphs (and a lack of them) is distracting and detracts from what you've written by making it more difficult to read.

[molten man]

Great interesting start.. Please do continue..

[dickface]

hell yes you should continue it sounds great!

[ASlaveKindaGuy]

Thanks for the advice, uzaho.
I will continue this story at some point, and I will definitely write better than before.
I might try some Choose your own adventure. Not sure though, so stay tuned

[Black Panther]

ASlaveKindaGuy gave me permission to continue the story, so I shall. Hope you enjoy!
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Max walked out the room with a big grin on his face. He looked for Devon, but he was no where to be seen. The secretary told him to go to Cabin 4, so he wandered around a bit looking for his cabin. Along the way, he saw some nice looking people, and the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She was around the same height as him, blonde hair, green tanktop, blue shorts and a heavenly face. Drawing confidence from some unknown place, he walked over and said Hi.
"Hey. Whats your name? I'm Maria."
"I'm Max. Nice to meet you, Maria." He replied.
"I'm in Cabin 4, what about you?" She asked.
"Oh! Me too!"
"Oh great! I'm a little lost, so you can take me there" She smiled.
"Actually, i'm lost too. But we can look together" He said, returning a smile.
They walked side by side on a gravel trail in the middle of a forest, seeing cabin numbers going down. Finally, they found a log cabin with a white sign next to it.
'Welcome to Cabin 4' It said.
They walked inside the cabin, seeing bunk beds.
"I call top!" Maria said.
"No way!" Replied Max.
"Race you there!" She yelled, while laughing.
They ran for the bed, but because of her start, she got onto the bed first.
"Ok, its all yours" Max said laughingly.
"I wonder where our stuff is." Maria thought.
"The man on the bus said it was in the drawers already." Max replied.
Opening the top drawer, Max saw....
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Hope you enjoyed so far!
Sorry for the slow start, feedback welcomed.

[dickface]

I love the continuation... please more!

[Black Panther]

Opening the top drawer, Max saw.... nothing!
"Hey Maria... there is nothing here!"
"What? Then where is all of our stuff? And what will we get changed into?"
Suddenly, a man came in. "Hello! Welcome to Camp Co-Ed! You must be Max.. And you must be Maria! It's nice to meet you!"
"Hello sir. Um, if you wouldn't mind me asking, where are our clothes?" Max asked.
"Oh, I certainly don't mind! Here is the schedule for the rest of the evening. Every morning your schedule will be in that mailbox outside your cabin. Any letters going to you or leaving from you should be in there. Have a nice time here!" The man said. He put the paper on Maxes bed then left, while whistling.
"Well that was weird. He didn't even answer your question." Maria said.
"Yeah.. Here, i'm gonna read this out loud.

Monday June 23, 2013 Schedule (You Don't have to read all this)

6:00-7:00. Dinner time and relaxation time. Campers will eat dinner in the
mess hall (Follow the signs) then relax in their cabins until

7:05-8:05. Campers will follow the El Dora hiking trail to the camp fire.

8:10-9:30. Campfire songs and S'mores! Camp Co-Eds official welcome
party!

9:30-10:30. Campers will hike back to their cabins.

10:30-11:15. Freetime/Relaxation Time.

11:20. Lights Out.

"Well, it is almost 6. We should probably go find the mess hall." Max said.
"Sure. Lets go find those signs." Maria replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The walk to the mess hall was very pretty, as the Colorado mountains were full of lively green aspen trees and a cool summer mountain breeze. From the path, Maria even pointed out a waterfall a mile or so away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Heres the mess hall. I hope their food is better than my last camp" Max joked.
"Oh, you think your camp food was bad? Man, I have some stories to tell you." Maria smiled.
Inside, the smell was actually... Good! Max could see a buffet table that had hot dogs and burgers and salad and fries... And everything you could get at camp!
"Oh my god this smells amazing!" Maria said, running to get a plate.
As Max walked towards the buffet after Maria, somebody grabbed his shoulder.
"Hey Max. Didn't expect to see you here." Somebody said.

Max turned around and saw...

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Co-Authors Note:
I'm gonna try to write a post at least twice a week. Also, Yes, I am a slow writer. If you like fast paced stories that get right to it... Either come back in a month or find something else to amuse you.

Key:
---------- Means that the current post is starting/ending, or being interrupted 
by an Authors Note.

~~~~~~~~~~ Means the story is temporarily leaving the characters to describe what 
the characters see/feel/think.

Also, Please Comment so I know that people are reading this!
-Black Panther

[emmah100]

Thank you for bringing this story back! I am really looking forward to the next chapter. I think this story has a lot of potential.