How To Write And Respond To An Ad.

[IceMaiden]

I regularly browse the ads posted and the amount of ads that go along the lines of "slave/dom wanted kik me on xx" irritates the crap out of me. Same for the people who post a response to an ad stating "I'll be your dom/slave hit me up."

I have nothing better to do right now so I thought I would help out all those people who clearly don't know how to post an ad or response.

So without further ado:

Step One.

Introduce yourself. If someone is looking at your ad and considering becoming your dom/slave, they are going to want to know about you. Not just your kinky side, but the whole of you. How else will potential candidates know if you would be a good match or not, if you put in little to no effort in your advertisement? D/s isnt just about the sexual side, but friendship, love, trust and shared interests. How will anyone know how you feel about those if you make no mention of it?


Good example:

Hi, I am (insert name/screen name here.) I live in x state/country. My personality is (insert who you are as a person, how you interact with other people and the types of personalities you feel you would mesh well with.) Some of my intrests and hobbies include (insert what you enjoy, if it would be a bonus if applicants shared some of your stated interests.) My preferred time frame is x, or mention if you can accomodate to someone in a different time zone. Include if there will be any times you absolutely can not do.

Bad examples:
I'm a master I want a slave.
I'm a slave seeking a master.

Step Two.

Okay, you introudced yourself and included some aspects about your life and who you feel you would match well with so what next? Describe how you are as a dom/slave. No, I don't mean state you're looking for one or the other and that's all. People can already see that from the title of your advertisement alone. Explain how you engage in BDSM, what interests and excites you. What anyone considering applying absolutely must enjoy or at least be willing to try. Be clear about what you wont do yourself. Explain how you deal with good and bad behaviour. Be clear about the sort of rewards you like to offer and how you deal with disobedience.

Good example:

Some of my likes include x, y and z. I particularly enjoy x because of (insert your reasons here.) I enjoy doing x thing to my sub/for my dom. I absolutely wont ever do x, no matter the circumstances as that is a hard limit. I am curious about x and would like to try this with the right person to guide me/would like to try this if the sub is interested or curious about it. I like to reward my sub/dom by doing x thing. If there is need for punishment or discipline, it will most likely include x.

Bad examples:
I like everything.
I have no limits.
I want a slave who has no limits.
I want a master who will make me do everything.

Step Three:

You've covered the most important parts, so now it's time to state what you wish to be included in applications. Be thorough so you can get to know the person you are talking to. And, of course, if you find yourself interested make sure you talk in more detail about everything mentioned to each other. You can't get to know someone very well by an advertisement alone.

Good example:

Include your age, your likes/dislikes and soft and hard limits. I've told you all about me, but what about you? Tell me some things about yourself, whatever you think may interest me. What hobbies you have, why you are interested in being my slave/dom. What made my advertisement stand out enough for you to respond. What you want from our relationsip if we should progress, anything you would need from me or anything that I would need to know about you to ensure we both remain safe and happy. Do you have any experience? Toys? If you live with others will that affect our relationship? What sort of commitment do you want in the relationship? Full time? Often? Once a week?

Bad examples:
Send me a picture of you. (Even worse if you state a nude picture.)
Send me your age gender and breast/penis size.
Tell me your limits, nothing else matters.

Now you may be thinking: "But I don't want long term. I just want casual play or even just a one off play session." And that is totally okay. But you still need to put some effort and information in for either one, so those searching for the same thing again know if they are compatible, if their likes match yours. "Want a slave/dom for a one off session" just doesn't cut it.

So we've discussed how to write an advertisement, what about responding to one?

Unsurprisingly all of the above pretty much covers this area too. Don't be that person who responds with "saw ur add kik me at xx/ I wanna be ur slave/ I'm your Master now slut."

If that's how you respond, at best you're going to get ignored and at worse you're going to recieve a reply you probably don't want. If someone has made a fair effort, then you should do the same in your response if you want to be seriously considered for the role.

Instead, tell the person about yourself, what stood out for you, why you're interested in applying. Don't become an entitled prick and expect an immediate "yes, you can be my sub/dom now!" Even if you seem to match fairly well, there could be other unknown reasons you wont or that they have someone else in mind or perhaps they just don't want to be in a relationship with you. And that is okay. No one needs to explain why your application was rejected. Of course, some people might do or at least respond with a "I've found someone/no longer looking, I don't think we would be a good match etc" But they don't need to. They don't owe you anything yet. Be polite, be open and honest and gracious even if you don't get the answer you want. It will look much better for you.

And finally, have fun and enjoy yourself.

Happy hunting.

[techiegirl]

What a well written tutorial. I am always frustrated by how advertisements are written. Thank you for writing a How To in such a clear and concise way. Well done

[DJ-playmate]

Brilliant! If only there were more like you.

[m55uk4younger]

Originally Posted by DJ-playmate

Brilliant! If only there were more like you.

Yes, spending time and effort on your ad/post, usually gets results.