Hearthstone Dungeon Run Dare part 3/6

[Fieldofbunnys]

A. F. Kay: “Oh, are we fighting?”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Do nothing.
Victory: Ppppfft, that was too easy.
Defeat: Welp, did not see that one coming. Go stand in the corner for 20 minutes with clothespins on your nipples. After waiting enough time, she goes AFK and you make your escape.
Quest: Reach turn 7 and still win.
Reward: 100 gold pieces.

Battlecrier Jin'zo: “I like the spirit in that one!”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Perform your loudest and most deadly battlecry.
Victory: Drink a glass of water to help your throat, and gain 100 gold pieces.
Defeat: Warriors come out to playeeeaaayyyy. Your next dungeon run must be a warrior dungeon run.
Quest: Perform that loudest and most deadly battlecry of yours outside.
Reward: 140 gold pieces.

Blackseed: “Ragnaros looked down. He looked like some kind of War Golem. ‘WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME,’ he yelled. But all that came out was a deep grinding sound. He began to cry.”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Take off clothes until you are only in your underwear. If he devolves you, we don't want your clothes to rip.
Victory: Put those clothes back on, and steal this arseholes wallet. There are 89 gold pieces in his wallet.
Defeat: You must perform the evolution dance in your underwear. Nobody knows what the evolution dance is so you will just have to improvise. Make sure to make half of the evolution dance sexy. The other half must be silly. After you do this dance for 4 minutes, he lets you leave the dungeon. If you are considered a Murloc this Dungeon Run, he makes you stay as a Murloc for your next Dungeon Run.
Quest: Let him evolve his minions 8 times.
Reward: 150 gold pieces.

Brimstone Warden: “You only delay the inevitable”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Sssssshhhhh, don't say anything at all during this encounter. You might wake up the ancients.
Victory: Phew, you can talk now. In fact, go on Wikipedia, find a random article, and read the first part out loud.
Defeat: Ooof, that had to hurt. Do 10 push-ups, give yourself a big wedgie, spank yourself 23 times with the best tool you have, do 10 more push-ups, do 2 edges, and then 30 jumping jacks.
Quest: Let him reach 5 mana before killing him.
Reward: 180 gold pieces.

Elder Jari: “The spirits of old don't like you very much”

Spoiler:

When encountered: If you are below the age of 18, spank yourself 10 times but don't document that you were spanked by this boss. If you are 18 or above, the spirits of old respect you. Don't document that they respect you.
Victory: If you are 25 or above, you get 200 gold pieces. If you are below 25, give yourself a chair wedgie for 3 minutes and gain 7 gold pieces.
Defeat: She gives more mercy to the old. If you are 25 or above, edge 3 times. If you are below 25, edge 6 times, and do 10 push-ups naked.
Quest: Be the age of 25 or above.
Reward: Show those young ones how it is done, do 20 push-ups.

Fungalmancer Flurgl: “*barfs*”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Ask someone outside of the game “Do you like Murlocs?” If they say yes, you gain 60 gold pieces. Otherwise, you must spank yourself 30 times with the best tool you have unless you are considered a Murloc this Dungeon Run. In which case, you gain 200 gold pieces.
Victory: Put on 2 articles of clothing to make up for the fact that he barfed on you unless you are considered a Murloc this dungeon run. In which case, you gain 250 gold pieces.
Defeat: He ties you up and forces you to watch his Murloc servants do sexy murloc things to you. Find 10 pictures of murlocs on the Internet and edge 4 times to them, and then he lets you leave the Dungeon with sexual frustration unless you are considered a Murloc this Dungeon Run. In which case, he has his Sexy Murloc Servants give you an orgasm before leaving.
Quest: Let him play 5 murlocs.
Reward: 80 gold pieces.

Gutmook: “You like trogs? I got trogs.”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Phew, at least you got him now instead of later. If your deck has more spells than minions, gain 200 gold pieces. If your deck has more minions than spells, drink 3 cups of water.
Victory: You start to feel a bit overloaded. Drink 3 cups of water.
Defeat: You start to feel completely overloaded as you wobble out of the Dungeon. You may not use the washroom until you win/lose your next dungeon run.
Quest: Play 7 spells.
Reward: 130 gold pieces.

Kraxx: “Defend the treasure”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Whenever he uses his Hero Power, spank yourself 5 times with your best spanking tool.
Victory: You found armour? Gain 50 armour. You may spend 1 armour to avoid 1 spank.
Defeat: He follows his orders and takes all your treasures including your passive and non passive treasures. You lose all your gold pieces and must spank yourself 50 times with your best spanking tool.
Quest: Play 10 minions.
Reward: Gain 40 armour.

Lyris the Wild Mage: “The flames, they make you dance!”

Spoiler:

When encountered: At the start and end of each of your turns, drip a drop of hot wax on your body (you may simulate this). Each time you drip 6 drops of hot wax on yourself during this encounter, you must remove 1 article of clothing.
Victory: You may steal her clothes to replace the ones she burned off. She has pants, a shirt, a bra, underwear, and two socks. If you choose not to steal any of her clothes, you gain 140 gold pieces.
Defeat: The flames! They make you dance! Dance as if you were on fire, and remove the rest of your clothing while doing so. Do this for 3 minutes.
Quest: Actually drip hot wax on yourself instead of simulating it.
Reward: 300 gold pieces.

Mushhuckster Max: “HEY HEY! You wanna buy some fungus?”

Spoiler:

When encountered: He gets your attention with some sweet fungus deals. Lose 20% of your collected gold pieces.
Victory: Nice, it’s a steal. Gain 30% of your gold pieces. (Not the gold pieces you lost, the ones you have.)
Defeat: He manages to swindle you real bad. Lose 99% of your gold pieces. If this would leave you with less than 10 gold, you lose your clothes instead and you will have to wear different clothes for your next dungeon run.
Quest: Let him play 4 custom potions.
Reward: Half of 250 gold pieces.

Russell the Bard: “Stay awhile and listen”

Spoiler:

When encountered: You have to give him a tip for playing such amazing songs. Give him an amount of gold of your choice. (You can not give him negative numbers :3)
Victory: Gain double the amount of gold you gave him.
Defeat: Lose double the amount of gold you gave him.
Quest: During your turn, open the treasure chest on the board.
Reward: Gain half of the amount of gold you gave him.

Spiritspeaker Azun: “I speak to the dead, you speak to the hand”

Spoiler:

When encountered: If you have not had a defeated dungeon run yet, spank yourself 20 times. Otherwise, lose two articles of clothing.
Victory: Now he will be talking to himself. Gain 150 gold pieces.
Defeat: You actually manage to get away completely unharmed… Lucky you. Next time, you might not be so lucky.
Quest: Let him play 7 deathrattle minions.
Reward: 230 gold pieces.

Thaddock the Thief: “Never give them a target…”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Flip a coin, if heads, you lose all the clothing on the top half of your body. If tails, you lose all the clothing on the bottom half of your body. Otherwise, you lose all your clothing. You must also edge one time.
Victory: She begs for mercy and will do anything to live. Naturally you take all of her belongings. You take all her clothes, gold, stolen clothes, and stolen gold. In other words, you gain 400 gold pieces and all of your lost clothes. Then you watch as she runs away while covering her groin and breasts. I am sorry, are you horny right now? It must be quite mean of me to put such detailed descriptions in here :3
Defeat: She steals all your gold, and your treasures worth gold. She gives you one good spank before vanishing into the shadows. Spank yourself once with your hand real hard.
Quest: Let her complete her quest before defeating her.
Reward: 300 gold pieces.

Whompwhisker: “Dude pile!”

Spoiler:

When encountered: You have to remain the strongest on the battlefield. Do five push-ups each time he uses his Hero power. At the end of your every other turn, edge once.
Victory: You feel slightly stronger. Flex in front of a window for two minutes with whatever you currently have on.
Defeat: He locks you up in some stocks and forces you to be tortured by your own minions. For each minion in your deck, spank yourself 2 times with your best tool, edge once, do 1 push up, and 1 sit up.
Quest: Do 100 push-ups due to this dare.
Reward: 250 gold pieces.

This dungeon is not getting to you right? Nevermind. I am sure you are fine. How about we make a deal? If you give me half of your gold right now, I will give you 300 armour. (You may spend 1 armour to avoid 1 spank). I am sure you will make the right decision :3.
Now that you have chosen the correct choice, you stumble upon another curse. Choose your curse. If you choose the same curse again, it becomes worse.

Curse of the Spiked Paddle: Double the amount of spanks given to you.
Worse: Curse of the Explosive Paddle: Triple the amount of spanks given to you.

Curse of the Bottomless Mug: You must drink a cup of water at the start and end of each encounter.
Worse: Curse of the Bottomless Keg: You must drink a cup of water at the start and end of each encounter, and at the start of choosing your treasure.

Curse of the Ripped Holes: The maximum amount of gold pieces you can carry is reduced by 20%.
Worse: Curse of the Pocketless Pants: The maximum amount of gold pieces you can carry is reduced by 35%.

Curse of the Sexiest: If you are biologically a boy, you must act like a girl. If you are biologically a girl, you must act like a boy.
Worse: Curse of the Mean Sexiest: If you are biologically a boy, you must dress up and act like a girl. If you are biologically a girl, you must dress up and act like a boy.

Curse of the sexual preference: If you are…
Straight: Each time you encounter an opponent of the opposite gender, you must edge thrice.
Gay: Each time you encounter an opponent of your gender, you must edge thrice.
Bisexual: Each time you encounter an opponent with an identifiable gender, you must edge twice.
Pansexual: Each time you encounter an opponent, you must edge once.
Something I missed and you can call me out on it: Choose one of the above.
Worse: Curse of the Horny Sexual Preference: If you are…
Straight: Each time you encounter an opponent of the opposite gender, you must edge 4 times.
Gay: Each time you encounter an opponent of your gender, you must edge 4 times.
Bisexual: Each time you encounter an opponent with an identifiable gender, you must edge thrice.
Pansexual: Each time you encounter an opponent, you must edge twice.
Something I missed and you can call me out on it: Choose one of the above.

Curse of the Ambidextrous: You must use your non-dominant hand to edge.
Worse: Curse of the Paws: You must use your non-dominant hand to edge, and you can not use your thumbs.

Wow, how brave. You know, you look exhausted. I am sure you will be fine. On to your next encounter.

Battlecrier Jin'zo: “Jin’zo approve!”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Perform your loudest and most deadly battlecry without a shirt.
Victory: Drink a glass of water to help your throat, and gain 200 gold pieces.
Defeat: Warriors come out to playeeeaaayyyy. Your next dungeon run must be a warrior dungeon run. Start without a shirt too.
Quest: Perform that loudest and most deadly battlecry of yours outside without a shirt.
Reward: 280 gold pieces.

Blackseed: “No matter how much he cried, nobody could even hear them. Minutes, Hours, Days went by. He eventually stopped crying and Fell onto his back. “WHY?!…” he tried to shout...”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Take off clothes until you are completely naked. If he devolves you, we don't want your clothes to rip.
Victory: Put those clothes back on, and steal this arseholes wallet. There are 189 gold pieces in his wallet.
Defeat: You must perform the evolution dance without any clothes on. Nobody knows what the evolution dance is so you will just have to improvise. Make sure to make half of the evolution dance sexy. The other half must be silly. After you do this dance for 4 minutes, he lets you leave the dungeon. He also slips you 10 gold pieces and his number for the sweet show. If you are considered a Murloc this Dungeon Run, he makes you stay as a Murloc for you next Dungeon Run.
Quest: Let him evolve his minions 8 times.
Reward: 300 gold pieces.

Elder Jari: “The spirits of old don't like you very much”

Spoiler:

When encountered: If you are below the age of 18, spank yourself 20 times but don't document that you were spanked by this boss. If you are 18 or above, the spirits of old respect you. Don't document that they respect you.
Victory: If you are 25 or above, you get 300 gold pieces. If you are below 25, give yourself a chair wedgie for 5 minutes and gain 14 gold pieces.
Defeat: She gives more mercy to the old. If you are 25 or above, edge 5 times. If you are below 25, edge 8 times, and do 20 push-ups naked.
Quest: Be the age of 25 or above.
Reward: Show those young ones how it is done, do 25 push-ups.

Fungalmancer Flurgl: “*vomits*”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Ask someone outside of the game “Do you like Murlocs?” If they say yes, you gain 120 gold pieces. Otherwise, you must spank yourself 55 times with the best tool you have unless you are considered a Murloc this Dungeon Run.
Victory: Put on 4 articles of clothing to make up for the fact that he barfed on you unless you are considered a Murloc this Dungeon Run. In which case, you gain 300 gold pieces.
Defeat: He ties you up and forces you to watch his Sexy Murloc servants do sexy Murloc things to you. Find 10 pictures of murlocs on the Internet and edge 2 times to each of them, and then he lets you leave the Dungeon with sexual frustration unless you are considered a Murloc this dungeon run. In which case, he makes his Sexy Murloc Servants give you an orgasm before letting you leave.
Quest: Let him play 6 murlocs.
Reward: 180 gold pieces.

Gutmook: “You like trogs? I got trogs. I like trogs too.”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Phew, at least you got him now instead of later. If your deck has more spells than minions, gain 400 gold pieces. If your deck has more minions than spells, drink 5 cups of water.
Victory: You start to feel a bit overloaded. Drink 5 cups of water.
Defeat: You start to feel completely overloaded as you wobble out of the Dungeon. You may not use the washroom until you win/lose your next dungeon run.
Quest: Play 8 spells.
Reward: 350 gold pieces.

Kraxx: “Defend the treasure!”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Whenever he uses his Hero Power, spank yourself 9 times with your best spanking tool.
Victory: You found armour? Gain 100 armour. You may spend 1 armour to avoid 1 spank.
Defeat: He follows his orders and takes all your treasures including your passive and non passive treasures. You lose all your gold pieces and must spank yourself 80 times with your best spanking tool.
Quest: Play 10 minions.
Reward: Gain 80 armour.

Lyris the Wild Mage: “The flames, they make you so hot!”

Spoiler:

When encountered: At the start and end of each of your turns, drip a drop of hot wax on your body (you may simulate this). Each time you drip 5 drops of hot wax on yourself during this encounter, you must remove 1 article of clothing.
Victory: You may steal her clothes to replace the ones she burned off. She has pants, a shirt, a bra, underwear, and two socks. If you choose not to steal any of her clothes, you gain 300 gold pieces.
Defeat: The flames! They make you dance! Dance as if you were on fire, and remove the rest of your clothing while doing so. Do this for 4 minutes and then edge twice.
Quest: Actually drip hot wax on yourself instead of simulating it.
Reward: 600 gold pieces.

Mushhuckster Max: “HEY HEY!!! You wanna buy some fungus?”

Spoiler:

When encountered: He gets your attention with some sweet fungus deals. Lose 30% of your collected gold pieces.
Victory: Nice, it’s a steal. Gain 40% of your gold pieces. (Not the gold pieces you lost, the ones you have.)
Defeat: He manages to swindle you real bad. Lose 99% of your gold pieces. If this would leave you with less than 10 gold, you lose your clothes instead and you will have to wear different clothes for your next dungeon run.
Quest: Let him play 5 custom potions.
Reward: Half of 500 gold pieces.

Overseer Mogark: “Whip it good!”

Spoiler:

When encountered: His ‘inspiring voice’ causes you to discipline yourself willingly. You must spank yourself 15 times at the start of every turn during this encounter. Use the best spanking tool available.
Victory: At the end of this fight you feel the need to spank yourself. Spank yourself 10 times.
Defeat: He chains you down to a table and starts spanking you with no mercy, but eventually he leaves you to get some water and you escape. Spank yourself 120 times. Use the best spanking tool available.
Quest: End up spanking yourself 225 times during this encounter.
Reward: A super red bottom, and 300 gold pieces.

Pathmaker Hamm: “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Set a timer for 7 minutes, if you don't beat the boss before the timer runs out, you lose 325 gold pieces, you must remove two articles of clothing from you or someone else, and you must spank yourself 25 times.
Victory: You find 325 gold pieces in a pit of pipe bombs.
Defeat: He blows up all of your clothing. You start with no clothing on your next Dungeon Run attempt. Spank yourself 50 times with your best tool.
Quest: Have him kill himself with his own bombers.
Reward: You gain 385 gold pieces.

Russell the Bard: “Stay awhile and listen!”

Spoiler:

When encountered: You have to give him a tip for playing such amazing songs. Give him an amount of gold of your choice. (You can not give him negative numbers :3)
Victory: Gain double the amount of gold you gave him.
Defeat: Lose double the amount of gold you gave him.
Quest: During your turn, open the treasure chest on the board.
Reward: Gain half of the amount of gold you gave him.

Spiritspeaker Azun: “I speak to the dead, you talk to the hand”

Spoiler:

When encountered: If you have not had a defeated dungeon run yet, spank yourself 30 times. Otherwise, lose three articles of clothing.
Victory: Now he will be talking to himself. Gain 320 gold pieces.
Defeat: You almost manage to get away completely unharmed… But he catches you and ties up up. He makes you edge 6 times before giving you a ruined orgasm. Then he lets you go.
Quest: Let him play 7 deathrattle minions.
Reward: 460 gold pieces.

Thaddock the Thief: “Move quick…”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Flip a coin, if heads, you lose all the clothing on the top half of your body. If tails, you lose all the clothing on the bottom half of your body. Otherwise, you lose all your clothing. You must also edge two times.
Victory: She begs for mercy and will do anything to live. Naturally you take all of her belongings. You take all her clothes, gold, stolen clothes, and stolen gold. In other words, you gain 550 gold pieces and all of your lost clothes. You feel a bit more frisky though… You force her onto her knees and make her edge you 4 times. Then you edge and tease her for 2 hours without orgasm. She begs for release, but you don't allow it. Finally, you stop and let her go. You watch as she wobbles away with a few moans. She does not even bother to cover her groin and breasts due to the intense sexual frustration. I am sorry, are you horny right now? It must be quite mean of me to put such detailed descriptions in here :3
Defeat: She steals all your gold, your treasures worth gold, and your clothes. She gives you one good spank and a quick edge before vanishing into the shadows. Spank yourself once with your hand real hard and do 1 edge.
Quest: Let her complete her quest before defeating her.
Reward: 450 gold pieces.

Waxmancer Sturmi: “Hold still! Let wax cooool... you so pretty, pretty, pretty…”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Get ready to burn yourself with wax. For every turn past turn 5 at the start of your turn, you must drip hot wax on yourself (You may simulate this by using large amounts of really hot water from your sink, because no take candle).
Victory: Phew, it sure is hot in here. Take off your shirt and pants while you choose your next treasure.
Defeat: Uh oh… Drip 12 drops of hot wax on yourself. (You may simulate this…)
Quest: Actually drip hot wax on yourself.
Reward: 500 gold pieces.

Whompwhisker: “Dude Mountain!”

Spoiler:

When encountered: You have to remain the strongest on the battlefield. Do five push-ups each time he uses his Hero power. At the end of your every other turn, edge once.
Victory: You feel slightly stronger. Flex in front of a window for four minutes with whatever you currently have on.
Defeat: He locks you up in some stocks and forces you to be tortured by your own minions. For each minion in your deck, spank yourself 3 times with your best tool, edge once, do 1 push up, and 1 sit up.
Quest: Do 125 push-ups due to this dare.
Reward: 550 gold pieces.

I think that went well. You look quite horny and drained though, so I will make another offer. Give me half of your gold, and I will give you 200 armour. Whatever you decide is up to you. Oooh, another treasure for you to choose.

Battle Totem:

Spoiler:

Double All numbers and number words in this dare for the rest of your Dungeon Run.

Captured Flag:

Spoiler:

You may add or subtract 1 from any dice roll you make.

Cloak of Invisibility:

Spoiler:

You may wear clothes while you are supposed to be naked.

Crystal Gem:

Spoiler:

Whenever you are told to roll a die, instead roll two dice and choose one of those. If you get two of these, pick a number instead.

Glyph of Warding:

Spoiler:

Whenever you are told to spank yourself, half the amount of spanks. If you get two of these, you don't have to do anything with candles or hot wax.

Grommash’s Armguards:

Spoiler:

Whenever you are told to spank yourself, gain 25 armour. As a bonus, whenever you are told to spank yourself, you may use whatever tool you want.

Justicar’s Ring:

Spoiler:

Upgrade your Hero Power.

Khadgar’s Scrying Orb:

Spoiler:

You may look at what is under “hover your cursor over to reveal text boxes” before you decide if what you are going to choose once per encounter. If you get two of these, you may look at what is under “hover your cursor over to reveal text boxes” for the rest of your Dungeon Run without any consequences. (Consequences within the “hover your cursor over to reveal text boxes”)

Mysterious Tomb:

Spoiler:

At the start of each encounter roll 1 cube shaped die three times
Do as follows for each dice rolled.
(1): Gain 100 gold pieces.
(2): Remove 1 article of clothing from yourself.
(3): Spank yourself 10 times. Use the best spanking tool available.
(3.5): Spank yourself 15 times. Use the best spanking tool available.
(4): Give yourself a wedgie.
(5): Do 3 push-ups.
(6): Gain 120 gold pieces.

Potion of Vitality:

Spoiler:

You only have to drink half as much water for the rest of your Dungeon Run. If you get two of these, whenever something tells you to drink water, you may choose to not.

Robe of the Magi:

Spoiler:

Add 30 to all numbers in this dare that are above 30. If you get two of these, add 70 to all numbers in this dare that are above 30.

Small Backpacks:

Spoiler:

You may carry 5000 extra gold pieces. If you get two of these, you may carry 11500 extra gold pieces.

Sceptre of Summoning:

Spoiler:

Change all numbers from 15 through 35 to the number 5.

Totem of the Dead:

Spoiler:

You gain 450 gold pieces for each defeated encounter this Dungeon Run.