hey ^^
well I started with "oh this might have potential" and finished with "oh, this was only the summary?
"
As to content, it's pretty much 08/15, but okayish and a good story to entertain most people on here, no doubt. But you could've written about 20 times as much, with the same storyline, just more detail... and I mean 20 times more, no exeggeration... ^^
Idk... it's over before it started, rather like a short porno than like an actual story, yet stories don't work that way :3
I'm pretty positive tho, that you have potential as author, if you take your time and write with details and all...^^
Love