Sorry for taking so long on my criticism, I've been busy and actually took a nap LOL (so not really busy when I napped, buuuttt yeah).
So far, the story isn't bad, although try not to use so many words that are the same so close together. Ex; "We said sure and she said truth or dare Jenga so we said sure. "
It's just getting started, and getting to the spicy part! So don't stop now! 
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25/M/Sub
Needs: Snuggles
Loves: Yummy cummy cum cum, Long term, Anal, Feminization/sissification, Bedtime stories, Diapers, Honesty, Being called Princess, Humiliation, Hidden public.
Likes: Age play, Bladder control, Hypnosis, Submission, Minor crossdressing, Orgasm control, Edging, Public.
Dislikes: Punishments, Spankings, Bad spelling, Lines.
Limits: Lying, Family/friends, Blood/danger.
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