[!!!]

"Just don't go easy"

if you say so...

Go to a public restroom and bring an opaque bottle full of piss with you. Shit into your hands and fill up your mouth entirely with shit, you can put any leftovers back in the toilet. Your one bottle of piss is all you have to clean your hand and wash your mouth with. Bonus points if you piss back into the bottle and drink it while out in public.