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Old 05-04-2012, 03:05 PM   #2
Saphir
getDare Sweetheart
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 425
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hey ^^

well I started with "oh this might have potential" and finished with "oh, this was only the summary? "

As to content, it's pretty much 08/15, but okayish and a good story to entertain most people on here, no doubt. But you could've written about 20 times as much, with the same storyline, just more detail... and I mean 20 times more, no exeggeration... ^^

Idk... it's over before it started, rather like a short porno than like an actual story, yet stories don't work that way :3

I'm pretty positive tho, that you have potential as author, if you take your time and write with details and all...^^

Love
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