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Old 04-04-2018, 08:44 PM   #14
DragonGirl
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Join Date: May 2017
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that's an okay part, something that partially bothered me is that you started to call Elissa "Elsa".

In the first part that you wrote you named the two girls Brittany and Elissa.

So with the name change in your last post it confused me for a short time until I realized that you changed the name.

There were also a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes that made it a little more difficult to understand what you were saying, so if you still can, it might be a good idea to edit it and correct those mistakes.

Other than that, it was a great part, it's nice that you added a new skirt, in the part that I wrote I was still talking about the same skirt as that you started out with, but a new skirt will also work nicely, especially since there are two skirts now that we know of.

At some other time I will write an other part for the story but I will give other people some time first to see if they want to contribute.
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