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Old 08-09-2010, 11:14 PM   #30
equilibrium
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 141
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I'm sorry, but I can't read this story, when it hasn't be formatted properly.

the proper way is:

"This is a example." said John Smith.
Jane Doe looked surprised "Oh!" She exclaimed, " Look, proper English!"
"Look," John smith says, " I can even write action as well."
And with that statement, John smith leant in and pressed his lips to Jane's.

If you want, I could be your beta reader/mentor?
A beta reader reads through work and fixes problems.
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