Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkPassion
I'm a straight girl who has only ever been the submissive in D/s relationships in the past. I met a guy who is more of a switch and normally I would stay away from that, but him and I have such amazing, mindblowing chemistry that cannot be ignored, so for him, I'm willing to try to find my inner Domme - I think it's possible because I love to tie up and tease my partner and even though I didn't think I would feel this way, I am kinda genuinely excited to explore it with him. Thinking about it made me curious about your experiences.
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I'm not straight, but I am a switch, I have been a sub most of my life, even tried being a full-time slave under an experienced master for a while, and have grown more dominant as I've gotten older. So... I think I can help you, even though you didn't ask exactly this question, or exactly of me.
A good dominant, in my opinion, seeks to craft an experience for the submissive, not to just get their giggle on making the sub do crazy stuff.
This is a well-known inversion in the community that puts most of the real power in the hands of the sub; the dom is only in control if, when, and while the submissive is comfortable, trusting, and consenting. If any of those conditions falter, the scene stops immediately.
What this means is that there's a neat little bit of mental acrobatics I and many other switches use in order to not only be a good dom, but to
enjoy it.
In most forms of D/s relationship, whether RP/fantasy or in real life, there are actually four people involved, or... at least, four personas. There's the dominant's true self, the dominant's "Dom/Domme" persona; then there's the submissive's true self, and the sub's "Sub/Slave" persona.
The trick is to use that subtle division between true inner self and the facade/mask we wear to flip the roles upside-down for one set, to enable the desired role for the other.
In other words... when I Dom for someone, my true inner self is actually
submitting to the submissive's true self in order to allow my dominant persona to dominate the submissive's submissive persona.
Make sense?
Inside, you're submitting to your partner by dominating him in a way you believe he'll enjoy and be turned on by.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled truth responses.
