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Originally Posted by Hagiology
An interesting start, please continue.
The first chapter suffered somewhat from an over-reliance on exposition, e.g "Despite Alex’s complete dominant nature" and "She was openly bisexual " but overall it was well written. The second chapter seemed far more grounded compared to the first where the reader has to suspend reality (i.e the Butler/Slave part) which makes for a slightly jarring transition but aside from that the story seems good so far. It feels original too, I must commend both authors on resisting the temptation to fall back on the common tropes of this genre, such as the typical kidnap scenario. The collaborative nature of the project is also rather unique and I admire the dedication it must take to write that way.
The second chapter feels like a good foundation for the rest of the story to build on, even if the back story is somewhat clumsily explained. I like how how the overtly BDSM aspects of the story have only been teased, the story doesn't feel like it's in too much of a rush.
Overall it's a very good start and I look forward to the next few chapters.
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Thank you very much for the feedback. The back story will develop over time and the exposition is to help set the scene early on. We did not want to rush our ideas and would rather build a solid base to build upon and I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far.
Thanks again, we will always appreciate good feedback, especially constructive.
Sarah