Quote:
Originally Posted by msesi
I understand what you are saying, but.
I do not want her to become my slave. I want her to find out what she likes in sex. And then, I wanna offer that to her. So, if after some time (months, years, I do not know) finds out she likes being my slave, then yes, I would offer her that.
But her being my slave/submissive is not what I want right now. I want her to open up more, relax, and have more fun.
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Honestly, the same qualities that create the foundation for a good BDSM relationship are the same qualities that create the foundation of any good relationship. Therefore, whether you're wanting her to be your slave or not, I maintain that providing a space where openness and trust are able to build is probably the best thing for you right now.
Like some others have mentioned, it is important to talk about these things while not being influenced by arousal. It may be awkward, but sitting down at a table and asking her, "What are
you interested in sexually?" may be the best way for you to find out exactly what it is she wants.
And then bear in mind that even if she details everything she'd be interested in, there is a huge difference between talking about it
in theory and then being faced with the
opportunity. She may get cold feet at the last minute, or she may become anxious, or she may decide she doesn't like the thing after all. In my mind, if I were faced with any of those scenarios, my next step would be to openly discuss what she needs to feel comfortable with an activity, or if there's nothing that would make her want to do it again, consider avoiding the activity altogether.
As for your pussy eating example, upon seeing this thread my pet mentioned that, if she randomly rejects you trying to lick her pussy, maybe she's feeling anxious and self-conscious about the taste and smell, or maybe she's on her period. If that's the case, my pet suggests trying to play in the shower or bath (note: don't tell her to take a shower, that would confirm her anxiety; simply offer to take a shower with her and initiate some "naughty time" there).
My pet's advice aside, it's important for you (and most men) to understand that women can be very self-conscious about their vaginas. From personal experience, there are a number of things that would make me not want to be eaten out, from not having had a shower yet to just the random anxiety or self-deprecation. So, if she doesn't want your face in intimate places, I wouldn't take it personally.