[shadowking132]

i loved this story it was great

a few things that would make it better try to explain how the changes came about not just the outcome for example now did you change how her sweat smelt maby one of the ointments is like a super deodorant that never washes off or her lips how did you puff them up did you use collagen or did you use the fat that you took from her breasts you get the idea

last thing is flesh it out a bit its all very clumped together

that pretty much covers everything if you would like to chat more or get more feedback feel free to pm me and we can chat