You want your cock to hurt?
Well...
First, let's get some slivers of soap. Fit as many down your hole as will fit. They may not be visible, push them all the way in and clean out that disgusting thing. Now start slowly jacking, either until you edge or all of the soap works their way out. If you edge, wait until you go soft then continue until all the soap is out.
Now, take some aligator clips and fit as many as you can. Make sure to atleast put 1 on each lip. Now use a rubber band, pull it back and hit all those clips off.
Next, we raid the fridge. Take out everything spicy or with a kick, mix it all in a glass and generously supply it over your shaft and head. Make sure to get some in the tip.
Last, either stick some pins in it or hit it on a flat board with a hammer for 15mins.
If you still have a cock or ever want to hurt it again, I'd be surprised.
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