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Old 05-07-2012, 12:20 PM   #4
Saphir
getDare Sweetheart
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 425
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When I wrote myself I had to force myself to writing the "slow way". Always wanted to get it straight to some point and yea... lost the potential on the way tho

Basically the whole story thing lives from the idea that your reader can symathise/identify with certain characters, love them, hate them, or just like the idea of what they are put through, which is some kind of identification tho.

To gain this you have to give the reader the opportunity to feel himself in the situation you're describing, in whatever you way do that. It demands however a certain minimum detail to make someone being able to connect to your story.

Ofc there are different styles of writing, I however guess each of them aims to entertain the reader tho

I just did some notes of what I thought about the first lines... I'm definitely procrastinating to not having to do my research paper for school :/

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They say the game “Truth or Dare” never ends well, but I have to disagree.

Not too long ago a buddy of mine and I got caught up in a spectacular version of this game.

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good, introduction, that's alright this way


We were at his house and he had invited a girl he was interested over to hang out with us all.

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when? what did it look like there? how did you get there? what did the girl look like? what was her name? what's your mate's name, and what is yours btw?

(
We were outside in the backyard having a great time. The music was playing loud, the fire in the fire pit was roaring and the drinks were going down fast and smooth.
)

We had been swimming in his pool most of the day and had grown a bit tired of that now we were just drunk and passing the time. His girl smugly suggested we play truth or dare. Considering how drunk we all were it seemed like a logical thing.

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where does the pool come from? why the jump from hanging out and drinking to being grown tired? why summarizing dialogues when you can use direct speech? e.g. describe that they went to the pool, put some random dialouge to give information about the characters, their habits, their personality, so they "get a face" for the reader. then let them talk about them being exhausted, leave the pool, get their towels, talk about what to do next... or maybe hand around and then talk about what to do next -> TorD
Of course as all games of truth or dare start out this one was pretty simple. Questions like “have you ever run a red light” or dares such as “run around the pool three times” were passed back and forth amongst us.

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direkt speech, could make 5 pages out of this paragraph and it wouldn't get boring
It took a bit before the dares got a little lewd and crazy.

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nother 3 pages, could add a lot of feelings here, if someone dares or not dares doing something, considering if it's too far or whatever
At first they were voyeuristic in nature: She was dared to kiss my buddy or my buddy was dared to grab her breast.

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damn this would be soooo hawt, if outlined :/

......
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