Edging, denial and forced orgasms
I already had experienced denial before I met Master, yet it was completely involuntary. Without the chance to freely explore my body I only could masturbate shyly in the evening, but several times I had to stop because someone was walking down the hallway. The closer I was to orgasm the more frustrating it was to feel this. And later I did it as a punishment for not keeping the penthouse tidy.
But with Master it was something different, with him I found out how good it feels to be denied.
Denial was such a huge part during my taming as well as during my training that it deserves an extra chapter because without denial I wouldn't be trained or even tamed.
I always found it difficult to express my fantasies because I was afraid what other people, especially my friends would think about me. But when I'm horny I'm way more brave to confess and even more eager to explore my kinks. Master often played with me the whole day and only let me cum when I confessed him a fantasy of mine. It was his way to interrogate me and it was very effective.
But after I got deeper into my kinks more often he would tease and edge me mercilessly just to send me home with an dripping, aching pussy. He knew how risky it was because my panties would get telltale stains and I had to put toilet paper into them to prevent that. When Master was on a business trip it became even worse. I had to do it by myself and when he called me in the evening he asked how often I edged myself. First I was embarrassed when I had to tell him how often I rubbed my pussy and then had to do it during the call. Later he even asked for a picture prove. I was shy but also happy that he wanted to see my (in my opinion) disgusting wet cunt.
I was also proud that I had become much more brave and that I obeyed his command so well, even I thought about just sneaking in an orgasm several times. Of course I didn't, but sometimes I asked myself why I'm doing it. Because the orgasm in the end will feel fantastic? Maybe.
Or maybe because I want to be a good girl / pet and good girls / pets don't cum without permission / at all? That is not the whole answer either.
The truth is: I realized how much I love having this permanent burning desire in my lower region.
Maybe I'm just build different. Maybe I have something that most other girls will never understand and never appreciate. They will never understand the dull, sweet, throbbing ache of a denied pussy. For them, wetness is something fleeting, that comes and goes during the arousal of sex. For me, it's a constant reminder of who I am. Or maybe what I became?
But also I love what denial can reduce me to. You didn't need ropes or whips. After a while I was nothing more than a willing, mindless cunt humping on anything and begging for an orgasm. And after I begged Mistress once to let me hump her shin, she said that it became very hard for her to ever have a serious conversation with me again
Don't get me wrong, I love having orgasms. But after cumming I always feel quite empty - and now cumming without permission just feels bad.
I always enjoyed seeing the people I love having fun and now I love giving my owners the pleasure that I'm denied. Simply because I believe that their orgasms are much more valuable than mine and they deserve them. It's my way to pay them for making my dream of being a pet coming true.
But as I said before, after a while without orgasm I tended to get bratty. Annoyingly bratty.
It took me some time to break this habit and even still I still get frustrated after a while. But I don't annoy my owners anymore. Yes, you can see that I'm “in heat” after several days because my slit swells and starts leaking a bit. But I am good pet now and will endure it without behaving like a brat.
So, how do my owners manage to “remove” the bratty behaviour?
One faithful day in 2018 I got sick after ten days – that's the time I normally became bratty.
And after that I had overcome the point that this burning inside me felt pestiferous. Instead I kinda enjoyed it. I had already registered to getDare at this point so I started a poll in which I asked if I should kept in denial. The result was crystal clear and Master ordered a chastity belt for me. I won't write everything about my denial down again (because it's all in my denial diary) and even it didn't ended as I expected it helped me a lot to embrace my kinks. Also I learned so much about myself, the people I love (my owners) and that I don't need to cum.
So, yes I'm absolutely into chastity and now I even have a custom made chastity belt.
I will write more about that later.
After the humiliating experience of being caught by my mother in a chastity belt I took a long break and since I like orgasm control so much Master kept controlling my orgasms. Not by putting me in denial again but by “forcing” me to make myself orgasm every day. He chose time and place where I had to rub myself till I came. It could be anywhere in the penthouse or the roof garden or even the staircase.
The first one after the long denial felt like shit, but soon they felt good again and over the months I've had lots of orgasms.
Some with a long build-up, some with 30 seconds of the wand on my clit.
I've had great orgasms but I've also had to masturbate even when I wasn't in the mood. But I did it, just because I was told that I have to orgasm and even that I knew the ones wouldn't be really good. Also it took me ages to cum. So after a while I started to crave the denial again.
I always had a hard time getting started after a break, but I knew it would be better to not let me cum again. So Master made me edge instead of cumming. It was perfect.
You know, I love to edge and can't get enough of it.
It feels wonderful to get so close that my cunt starts to pulsate and then stop immediately. My clit gets so sensitive that its almost hurts and the frustration rushes through my body. After several days I have the feeling like I'm always close but still the desperation keeps building up.
If I can choose a porn during that time I always end in watching videos in which the girls have several orgasms, I can't help it. It gives me the feeling that every girl in the world can cum except me. Of course Mistress taunts me then by giving me the order to make her or just watch her while she makes herself cum. Oh, I know the satisfaction of an orgasm would be feel wonderful. But being an obedient pet just feels better.
Also Master owns me and he owns my orgasms.