[MarvHarvey]

Marty meets Mia and Charlie, Chapter 6, Part 2

Even with the mumbles, it was clear: "My Katie, Miss Kathryn," and "Most wonderful woman in the world." After his subconscious let that out of his mouth, I wept. He said that even after I beat the hell out of him?
Could I really do this to...or maybe it's with...the love of my life?
Could I really not do this to...or maybe it's with...the love of my life?

I could not think of sleep, even as his rhythmic breathing filled my ear.

He wants and needs it so I can and I will. Won't I? I will try, but can I really?

I enjoyed it a bit when I could feel it was punishing him for his escapades with Mia and Charlie - when it was revenge. Maybe it was Mia I wanted revenge against? I knew from the way she had described their encounters in the woods that she was a sadist - she literally got off on his pain. But...how much had he ...liked? ...wanted? ...needed?

Don't cry girl. You love him and he loves you so there will be a way.

I didn't mind when he was just fooling around online with games and jokes, and other stuff. I thought that getting himself off to his fantasies would be a safety valve for him, and let us carry on like normal, but that wasn't enough. So yeah, I needed to have some revenge on him too. Maybe I want some revenge on myself: he tried to tell me so many times and I shot him down in flames, made him afraid to be open with me. Yeah, I need revenge on me too.

But could I really carry on like this? Could I do what he clearly wants and needs so much? Or not?

Can I cause him pain? Yes it was a little bit fun - while it ripped at my heart.

By this time I was wide awake - exhausted, but awake. I didn't want to get untangled from him - in fact I wanted to be as close to him as I could. But I had to find a way to ease my mind.

Can this just be playtime, when we can find time - or can it be, or does it have to be, how we live? It doesn't feel like playtime to me. If we have time together I don't want to feel we have to be doing this - whatever this is - I want to enjoy my husband. God, I love this man.

Breathe, girl - deep and slow.

Can I put this into every day? He has asked me a thousand times.

I have to look beyond spanking and whipping and pain.

What about other classic things that he dreams about.

Oh, I'll make him suffer like that too - but will I then want to then screw him silly - well I sort of always do - but will I after that?

What about me - what will this do to me?

I wept a little, again, and I guess I dozed off for a few minutes.