[LilAngel]

This is not a regular update but I really felt that I needed to stress something.

Earlier today in the chat room, I noticed a little debate about the various names or roles if you will, that are said within the society. Things like Sadism/Masochism, Master/slave, Dominant/submissive, Owner/property, Daddy/child or Teacher/ student etc. You don't know how often I hear this from 'experienced' or 'knowledgeable' dominants, submissives, tops, bottoms, whatever. At the end of the day: The relationship is YOURS. Nothing can take that away from you apart from the two people within the relationship.

It doesn't matter what people see it as. You can not call it anything at all if you wish. BDSM is a form of power exchange. No labeling, name calling or anything is necessary unless the people in the relationship feels a need for it. As a close knitted community the BDSM circle is, WHY do we feel the need to distinguish everything from one another. The edges of EVERYTHING within the community is blurred, and people respect that. There's even a blur around the 'Dos and Don'ts' of safety. What is considered rape? What isn't?

NO ONE in the fetish and BDSM community knows everything about it. NO ONE is absolutely 'right' about anything either. A person does not need to live it to understand it. They may grasp it better if they do, but it really isn't all that important.

Loosen up. You don't need to correct everything people say as long as what they're doing is safe. You don't need to act all professional about it just because you know more fancy terms. A person who does things on webcam for other people's enjoyment should NOT be looked down upon. They're happy. The person watching them is probably happy. It is not much different to the things you see on porn. Relationships that work amongst everyday life is just as beautiful and special as the relationships of the Victorian mansion style 24/7 scenes.

Sometimes, the simpler things are a lot more fun and rewarding while other times, the heavier, more expensive gear seems like a better idea. The fact that everyone accepts everyone else the way they are is what makes the community so much more special. Have you ever wondered why the gays/ lesbians/ bisexuals feel so much more 'at home' when they're around... kinksters?

Back to my first point: I was one of those people. Who spent my free time thinking about the differences between a slave and a submissive; and I realised something. Does it really matter? Do we really need the 'levels' of submission to show how dedicated a submissive is? Or how 'dominant' a dominant is? A bedroom sex-only top/bottom relationship can just be as 'fun' and enticing as a weekend long scene.

What I'm trying to say here is: relax a little. Don't worry about the details. The only thing that matters is safety and consent. Everything else is pretty much... undefinable.