Simple. Do a shit on your bed, right in the center of it and leave it there until it dries out. You can use deodorant etc to mask the smell if you have to, or cover it under news paper, blankets etc but that will slow down the drying. When it's bed time and the turd still hasn't dried, make a call as to either sleep in the bed with your turd or you sleep on the floor while the turd sleeps on your bed.
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