[slaveboy28]

Dear readers and commentators,

let me start once again by saying a big thank you to my favourite (and almost only) commentator - b69. Your last comment was such an encouragement to both keep writing and also to once again think about my journey and how much Sir means to me (there is “his spunk” but also so much more). Yes, you do encourage me and your insights also mean a lot to me. Your comments were also always very well put and they never made me feel weak - my last update was more of a mental exercise for me than a direct response to your posts.

I would also like to wish you all the best and perhaps (if my Sir allowed of course) ask you also to have a chance to chat with you. Thank you once again.

The advice you gave before helped me a lot to better accept my recent mistake. Yes, once again there was a fuck up on my side, but I do not want to dwell on it. I do not want to see it as a complete disaster (although it felt like this for quite a while) but more of a reminder what slave’s life is like and how slaves and boys must pay for they mistakes in order to grow and become more useful for their Masters. And this is what I consider my main duty - serve my wonderful Sir.

In order to do this I need to loose weight and I was given very specific instructions. But I failed at reaching my weight target for 300g. Something that angered Sir who deserves fuckable slave material and not some lazy, overweight fatboy. The punishment I received was thus well deserved and it was also not a novelty to me. It did not get me off track but it really surprised me how much it affected me. After knowing Sir for such a long time (I so desperately need to meet him in real too, online is just not enough anymore) and the more I know him, the more each punishment hurts. And this one once again hurt and stung, even though I have experienced it before.

I did what Sit ordered and I went for a walk and peed myself outside again - through my (His!) underwear. It was freezing cold outside and I barely managed to get to a deserted courtyard where I hid myself behind a large trash can and just let it go. It was once again a completely humiliating experience and when I returned all wet and cold to my room I just felt like a complete piece of shit - fat, ugly, peed like a baby. And once again the feeling of shame and humiliation was so much easier to take than the feeling of letting Sir down, failing him. It is really hard to express how much this hurts me every single time - now even more than at the beginning of this blog.

I sent a picture to Sir and he briefly ordered to put my underwear on until they dry completely. And I stayed in my underwear until morning - there was no sexual excitement, no secret liking of my pee. Just cold, drying underwear around my useless little genitals. It was of course a reasonable punishment as I let Sir down, but let me just repeat how much the psychological effect of it hurt. Especially after Sir told me to just get of his sight and f. off. I woke up in the middle of the night after having a really bad dream. Not remembering it completely but I saw Skype window with the words “get lost” in them. And than I just woke up, feeling all sweaty but cold. I touched my underwear - still not completely dry - and just sobbed for a moment. My brain once again got into an overdrive and it took me a while to calm down and once again fall into sleep.

It was a dreadful experience and I only wanted to talk to Sir in the morning - to know he is still there, he did not abandon me. Perhaps this was selfish but I need to be sure and was so happy that it was just a dream. Sir will also get a proper apology for my failure and I hope he will accept it, as well as an update on my weight - tomorrow I have to reach my goal or there will be serious consequences.

Of course when I woke up I was not allowed to shower or wear any underwear, so I spent the day like a complete incontinent boy - stinking of pee and feeling the cold. But I did it for Sir and knowing this helped.

Sir will unfortunately not be online in the next few days (I miss him just by thinking about it) but I did get my orders and also the time to think about everything - one hour corner time (45 minutes as per my weekday routine and an additional 15 minutes of kneeling on rice). It will be hard - all alone but I will do it. I will. To please him and to amend for my mistake. I just hope he will enjoy his time away and perhaps think about me (please Sir, if just for a few minutes Sir). He will stay with me not just during my corner time but as always during the whole day and obviously also during my sleep Sir.

At the end before I rush to the bathroom to pee (I had to finish my blog before allowed to pee and I already need to go a lot) I would just like to inform you of my recent additions to my “toy collection”. They were also bought for Sir - having him in mind and having in mind him using them - so I am not ashamed to admit I bought a new spanking paddle and also a penis gag to keep me quiet when Sir will be using the paddle and the flogger or any other toy/method to use on his fatboy. I so look forward to this (painful perhaps) but memorable experience. In real! And not in this cyber (Getdare) world.

Thank you Sir for having me, teaching me and showing my mistakes. Please enjoy your days away, while your slave will be waiting for you in agony and great expectation.

Thank you all,

boy A