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Old 06-27-2023, 05:01 PM   #10
redtiger
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Join Date: Mar 2011
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Just read your original version of this story. I know people are going to hate me for suggesting this but please do not take this version in the same direction. Your description of the interaction of five adolescents engaged in sexual exploration is fun and believable. When you switch to blackmail and abusive sexual treatment the story ceases to be fun and become just another one of many stories wherein the author covers for an inability to be creative by having the characters act in ways that would be extremely unlikely in reality and would lead to major negative psychological symptoms unless the characters have far, far more experience and training than anyone of these characters' ages could possibly have.
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