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Old 08-10-2010, 12:59 PM   #33
Bangin
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: England/France
Posts: 126
Default Actually...

Quote:
Originally Posted by equilibrium View Post
I'm sorry, but I can't read this story, when it hasn't be formatted properly.

the proper way is:

"This is a example." said John Smith.
Jane Doe looked surprised "Oh!" She exclaimed, " Look, proper English!"
"Look," John smith says, " I can even write action as well."
And with that statement, John smith leant in and pressed his lips to Jane's.

If you want, I could be your beta reader/mentor?
A beta reader reads through work and fixes problems.

"This is an example." said John Smith.
Jane Doe looked surprised. "Oh!" She exclaimed, " Look, proper English!"
"Look," John Smith said, " I can even write action as well."
And with that statement, John Smith leant in and pressed his lips to Jane's.


Everyone has a different style of writing and although this is less conventional and standard, it still works. I'm enjoying this story and am looking forward to more!
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Read my first finished story here!
Second-Cousins Play Some Games -

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=72988

My second, ongoing story is here...
Lads Home Alone -

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=51584

My Newest Story...
University Bromance
-

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=72833

I fancied a change from story writing... Do my dice dare (just for the lads) here -

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthrea...714#post437714
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