[Slave_E]

"Let me tell you a story. It happened when I was still at school, before I took up my online activities and way before I met Ben, my first master. I was involved with a group of kids one or two years older than me. I was looking up to them and wanted dearly to be like them. They loved to play games. Truth or dare games. Mostly dare games. They used to watch movies and get drunk and then go to parties or to a club, re-enacting what they had seen. It was like a competition. Who dared to do the lewdest things. And silly me wanted to be accepted...

"My parents did not know what went on, but they saw that I had started to dress sexy and that I came home late and they were concerned...

"One night we met at one of the guys' place. His parents worked a lot and were not home. Somebody brought two bottles of vodka and the girls rummaged around the guy's parents' bookcase and found a copy of "Irina Palm". The guys sat on the big couch, the girls huddled on the carpet below and we all fooled around, chatted, groped, and got drunk. I watched the movie very inattentively, but took notice of the sex club scenes, and the girls made jokes about Irina Palm giving hand jobs and teased the guys to pull down their pants and let us take over...

"I sat cross-legged on the floor, just in front of one of the guys. He spread his legs to make room for me and played with my hair. I let him do it and soon his hands stroked my neck, explored my cleavage, wandered under my T-shirt and found my tits. I leaned back to grant him better access. He watched the movie and talked to one of the guys and pinched and squeezed my nipples, all at the same time, all very nonchalantly. He did not really care about me, I was just a toy he used to keep his hands busy and to show off his audacity in front of his buddies, but it turned me on and my pussy got all soft and wet. The next time the bottle passed by he took my glass for a refill, but then, using my hair as a handle, he drew my head back and poured the vodka right into my mouth. I choked and coughed, struggling for breath, but he kept pouring. I swallowed as much as I could, but most of it landed on my T-shirt, leaving big, wet, transparent splotches. I smelled of alcohol. The guy who had brought the booze threw me an angry look.

"When we were drunk enough and when it was late enough, we left for the club. On the way we passed one of those old-fashioned adult video stores with video booths. A red neon sign flashed, 'Open all Night'. The guys acted cool, but the girls pressed their nose against the shop windows and started to giggle. 'They have glory holes in there...'

"The guy who had brought the vodka looked at me and grinned, 'I dare you to go in and give a stranger a hand job.' I was inebriated enough to not brush it off immediately and suddenly the girls were all shouting, 'Coward, coward, do it, do it!' I ignored them and wanted to move on, but David, they guy who had played with my tits, stood in my way. 'Come on, do it... Show us that you are as good as Irina... Don't be shy...' I was swaying slightly and he steadied me, took me in his arms and kissed me. I opened my mouth and felt his tongue deep down in my throat. I could not think clearly, I was horny and his hand under my skirt trying to get into my panties did not help: I felt lewd and kinky.

" 'OK, OK, I'll do it. But first I need more vodka...' The boys cheered, the girls jeered and they all began to prod and push one another. An almost empty bottle of vodka materialized in my hand and I downed the rest of it in one big gulp.

"The first room of the store was filled with magazines, videos and toys. I passed a vast array of plastic cocks and vibrators and found a wall opening half covered by a heavy velvet curtain. I pushed the curtain open and entered. The next room was only dimly lit and my eyes needed time to adjust. A stocky blonde woman in her 50s stood behind a bar and some greasy looking guys sat on bar stools and tried to entertain a conversation. When they saw me they lifted their beer bottles in a mocking salute. One of them even whistled. I was so embarrassed that I hurriedly passed them, squeezing my way through until I came to a long aisle with lots of doors, found an open one, went in and slid the lock closed.

"The booth was dark; the only light came from a video monitor next to the door. Below the monitor was a panel with a slot that accepted coins. Mounted to the wall opposite the door was a cheap plastic chair. The air was stale and smelly. On the floor was a box with tissues, next to a trash basket filled with used ones. This was where the stench came from. All around me I heard muffled music, moans and shouts of glee.

"The last sip from the vodka bottle hit my bloodstream. It made me stagger. The room rotated around me. I sat down, closed my eyes and concentrated on taking deep breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. I did not want to give up. Not now, not with those crazy geezers waiting for me at the bar.

"Looking around I noticed that each side of the booth had a hole in it that was about 3 inches in diameter. I felt exposed and vulnerable and decided to feed the slot with a two Euro coin. The monitor came alive, showing a big-titted bimbo taking on several men at once. Her loud moaning filled the booth. Heat grew in my crotch and my breathing came heavy. I stepped through the programs and stopped when I saw a guy sucking off two guys at once. With all their slurping and licking, I nearly missed the steps to my right. I leaned forward and peeked through the hole. The door to the next booth was wide open and I saw trainer-clad feet in the corridor. He must have seen that my booth was occupied. Maybe he could even see me, peeking through the hole.

"My whole body trembled. Flashes of heat moved from my crotch up to my brain, increasing in strength and frequency. Without thinking I stripped. It just came over me. It was exciting to be naked in a public place, and even though I was in a private booth, I wanted to be seen. I let my clothes fall to the floor, not caring what else might already be there.

"The feet in the aisle went away and I was disappointed. But soon enough they came back and I felt giddy and anxious at the same time. The door locked. I made myself as small as possible. Clothes rustled. A coin was thrown in the slot. Then his loudspeaker woke up and added to the moaning in my booth. The flickering light of his monitor shone through the small gap between the wall panel and the floor. Cautiously I peered through the hole. His trousers were down and he had his dick in his hands. Just then my money came to an end and my video stopped, leaving me in a strange twilight.

"Only now I noticed that there were lights and sound to my left as well. And that an eye watched me through the hole. My heart beat like a hammer. I was afraid I was going to be sick. To regain my composure, I inserted another two Euros. The guy on the monitor reappeared. He had cocks in his mouth and his ass and got fucked relentlessly. The eye behind the hole disappeared.

"I squinted through the hole and saw a very fat man, his trousers around his ankles, his small dick almost completely hidden in long, dark and curly hair. I leaned back and waited. His eye came on, stayed for a few moments and went away. This time I moved my face very close to the hole. He worked on his now erect dick. I moved back. Behind the hole appeared a black mustache and a big nose and then his eye again, looking at me.

"By now I was seriously horny. I thought of his dick poking out of the hole and could not breathe. I wanted to jerk him off. Without thinking my hand moved to the hole, made a fist, opened again, beckoning him to give me his dick.

"Turning around I found the guy to my right watching me too. I smiled apologetically, turned back and saw a circumcised dick sticking through the hole. I spat in my hand, put it on his shaft and started to stroke. He soon got fully hard, pressed his body against the wall and gave me as much of his dick as he could. I liked it. I started to alternate hands and then used both hands at once. I was not thinking properly, I was drunk and horny and I was proud to be there and it turned me on that a guy got off on me and I was happy to be his sleazy slut.

"A few drops of precum appeared in the small slit at the head of his dick. I was fascinated and licked it off. The dick was unwashed and smelled of sweat and piss, but the taste turned me on. I was completely out of my mind, got on my knees and wrapped my lips around him. I bobbed my head back and forth and opened my mouth as wide as I could. I enjoyed the feeling of his cock pushing against my throat and got lost in drunken reveries. For a short time he seemed to like it, but then he pulled back, as if terrified to cum in my mouth.

"I reached through the hole and found his cock shrivelled. I tried to pull him back and he followed, but reluctantly. I kneaded the shaft and got him hard again. I stood to the side of the hole, to better access his dick and massaged it as fast as I could. It took not more than a minute before he was ready to squirt. His cock twitched and then he shot a full load onto my clothes.

"This sobered me immediately. I grabbed some tissues and cleaned me and my clothes as well as I could. The door to my left opened and closed. I sat on the floor and looked around. The guy to my right had his dick through the hole and waited. The video to my left had stopped. The guy on my monitor was fucked. Time stood still. Drudgingly, I got to my feet, holding on to the walls to be able to stand. I ignored the waiting dick, picked up my clothes and dressed. I was so confused that I put my t-shirt on the wrong way.

"I do not remember how I managed to pass the geezers at the bar. I had jerked off one of them! I had his spunk on my T-shirt! I felt so dirty and sleazy and bawdy... and still strangely satisfied. I had done it!

"It was only the day after that panic struck me. I had taken a complete stranger in my mouth without using a condom! How could I have been so stupid! I felt bad for weeks, before I finally summoned up all my bravery, went to my doc and asked for an HIV test... I was so relieved when it was ok!"

I felt tired, sad, depressed, and irritable. My anxiety was back. Adrian must have seen it. "That's quite a story," he mumbled.

I retorted, "Is it what you wanted to know?"

"I dunno... Maybe... I had hoped for something more upbeat..."

"Yeah... I know... " I got up, brought my face close to the camera and tried to smile. It was a bitter smile. "More about neat rules and straight regulations, isn't it? Less about the conflicting feelings of a misled kid?"

He did not answer. "You thought I would tell you how a more 'sexy' clothing style started to intrigue me. You thought I would tell you that - as I have never been uncomfortable with guys, even when they stared at me, because I come from a naturist family and have been naked amidst lots of people often enough - it made my tits perk out and me all tingly down there when I was stared at... And it is true: I still like it. I gave up wearing a bra because my so called friends liked it. And I liked to be pushed towards a more 'slutty' look as long as I could indulge in it without being responsible, because I could think, 'they made me do it.'

"And later, when I got immersed in watching porn, I liked all the girls with their shaved legs, shaved armpits, shaved pussies. I liked them having 'no hairs below the neck'... And further down that road, I liked the girls having sexy tattoos, pierced nipples, pierced pussies,... I liked the idea that they did it for their boyfriends - back then I did not think of masters, even less of mistresses... giving my body to somebody else as his property, to use it any way he or she might like it... what a strange idea...

"It was only when I met Ben, my first Master, in one of those chatrooms... With him I started to get off on doing dares, getting tasks, following rules... of course online, anonymously... and I found that it made me hot to be punished if I did not perform to his satisfaction: Do as you’re told. Get naked, kneel, slap your pussy, do not dare to touch, edge, cum, sleep on the floor, take a cold shower, do not pee, put on your collar... You know all this, I'm sure... However, back then I still refused to do pictures. I did not want to be seen all over the net. It was left to my stupid BF to change that, and to me, because I was stupid enough to let me get blackmailed... Now it's too late... I'm a helpless toy for all his paying clients... There are no limits. I have surrendered. Others decide if I need thresholds or boundaries. It’s not up to me anymore. For me, the word 'no' no longer exist...."

My phone's screen lit up. I stopped brawling. Adrian looked at me. In his eyes, I saw compassion and grief. "I'm sorry, Emily. I did not know about all this. It's true, I saw your pictures on his website, I have watched your activities and I have contacted your boyfriend - but I had not anticipated falling in love with you..."

The door burst open and silenced him with a loud bang. A boy in low hanging sweat pants stormed in, carrying a six pack of Faxe Fad beer cans. The boy from the flat below and two giggling girls followed. One girl was more on the chubby side, with light brown hair, in roomy cutoffs, a white crop top and a lacy black bra. The other, more slender build, with shoulder length black hair, wore tight fitting camouflage patterned leggings and a black sports bra. They pretended to be surprised, but it was obvious they knew about me. My neighbour must have told them. The boy with the beer cans held one up, grinned broadly and shouted straight through the room, "Wanna join us?" The camouflaged girl clung possessively to his arm and smirked. The chubby girl hid behind the redhead and tried to look as inconspicuously as possible.

I shouted, "No!" Furiously. This was the worst moment to be interrupted. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Adrian fall silent, looking incredulous. I brought my face close to the phone and begged, "Please, Adrian, wait, just a moment!" but was drowned out by the baggy boy's loud voice singing, "She's just a boring slut... She's just a boring slut..." He ripped one of the cans open. Foam poured out and onto the floor. The redhead took the can, grabbed the chubby girl and put the can to her mouth. She tried to swallow, but could not. Beer ran down her chin and onto her chest. She screeched, "You fucking dickhead, look what you've done!" The baggy boy laughed, ripped a second can open and gave it to the camouflaged girl. Desperate, I pleaded, "Please! Stop! Give me a break! I'm in the middle of a phone call!" But to no avail. When I got back to my phone, Adrian was gone.