[iSpuds]

Well, let's see...I have quite a few fetishes, but this springs to mind:

Most people would probably cringe from this story, and I'm not proud of it myself, but I learned that I was excited by watching a person experience pain (and knifeplay, drawing blood) as the result of an experience with my first boyfriend. We were both teenagers, but he was two years younger than me. He had some issues with depression and, upon my inquiring about his experience with self-injuring, he asked me if I wanted to watch him slit his wrists sometime. At first I was freaked out by the sight and couldn't watch the whole thing but listening to him sigh and groan and hiss while I looked away excited me. Later on, I asked him if I could watch him do it again, becoming entranced by the beads of blood and the puckering skin and the sharing of some strong emotions as he shared something with me that he felt was shameful, yet provided him with powerful release.

Fast-forward to when I was seventeen. I was playing online with a guy much older than me, but didn't let him know how old I was (this was my first time actually playing with someone much older than me, and I grew a taste for older men, in part, through him). We met through Milovana as a result of some teases I'd put out, I shared with him that I actually liked more brutal stuff but was too insecure to actually broadcast that in a tease. He shared that he was interested in taking whatever I could dish out. We had exchanged some correspondence where I had him beat his abdomen with the handle of a crop until he was able to broke skin. He was pretty fit and up for the task, and sure enough, an hour or so later, I had a picture of his abs all bruised and bloody from the beating. I wouldn't say he triggered my sadism (my first bf and Kink.com probably had more to do with that bit), but I think that through him I was able to put a name to it.