1.masturbated while somebody watched?
Yes, for a few different people
2.kissed sombody of the same sex and who?
No, never have
3.had sex?
Yes, although not as much as I'd like
4.been married/divorced?
No to both
5. lied about your age?
Only to get into a club :P
6. been banned from anywhere public or another site?
nope, i'm a goody two shoes (apparently)
7. been overweight?
Is that a fat joke? 
I am overweight
8.had a cell phone and/or broke it?
Yup, a few broken phones
9. given a swirly?
nope, never given or received one