[alinarena]

I've thought about this quite a few times before and I can never seem to pinpoint an exact time or moment. I read a lot of high fantasy growing up, and I always remember being upset when the damsel in distress would get away. I would write stories (fanfiction sometimes, which it wasn't labeled really back then) where every attempt to save the girl would fail, and she would remain a slave forever to the evil men. From a young age those stories were somewhat sexualized (I remember my 5th grade teacher telling my mom about them).

I also like to role play/play make believe with my siblings a lot. We would make up all kinds of games, and I would always volunteer to be captured or be the sacrifice. They would try to save me but I kept making it so I could never escape. My sister also used to put a dog collar on me and a leash and would walk me around and I would pretend to be a dog. Those play times were never sexual, but I realize now that I had that tendency for as far back as I can remember.