[HHHobo]

We all went out in the backyard and peed. We were not visible from any other house and no one else was home at Brianna’s. There was no chance that we could see. It was obvious that Kristy had never peed outside before. She watched the other girls squat, then imitated them. But just as she was peeing, she slipped and fell over backwards and peed all over herself. We laughed like crazy, but Libby and Bridget helped her get cleaned up.

Back in the family room we all got in a circle and I got out two decks of cards. I drew from the first deck and got a seven. So the other deck was passed through to the seventh person, who just happened to be Brianna. She drew the first card and read, “How many times a week do you masturbate?” Everyone but me gasped. “I’m not answering that,” Brianna shouted. “I’ll drink your fucking beverage.” I reached in a bag and pulled out a stack of six-ounce cups and a bottle of prune juice. The reaction was spontaneous. Everyone was grossed out.

“I’ve changed my mind. I’ll answer the question,” Brianna protested.

“Too late,” I corrected her, “you’ve already refused. She held her nose and quickly downed to prune juice.

I explained further. “There is no other way to earn forfeit points. Not only does the first person to pee earn ten forfeit points, so does the first person to poop, whenever that happens. If it happens before we streak, it applies to the length of your streak. If it happens afterward, it is carried over to the next sleepover.” The level of the game had been raised. What had seemed like a tame game wasn’t so tame anymore.

I drew from the deck of cards and got a four. That meant that the truth questions came back to me. Reluctantly I drew a card and read it to the group, “Would you perform oral sex on a member of the same sex? If so, then prove it. If not, then take five forfeit points for being a wimp.” Without saying a word I poured myself a cup of prune juice and drank it while everyone laughed at me.

I had written all the questions so that they were just about unanswerable to a group like ours. I was out to assure that plenty of prune juice was consumed. In that I was successful, if not very popular. The good news was that Brianna was nailed five times. The bad news was that I was nailed four times. No one else got it more than twice. Those that drank twice were Brian, Bridget, and Jeannie. Rachel, Libby, and Molly drank one glass apiece. Colleen and Kristy escaped altogether.

When the half hour was up, Brianna looked at me and snarled, “Nice game, Willy!”

I hadn’t expected it to be so lopsided. I felt sure I would lose the peeing part. My bladder is small and Brianna had only one more cup than I did. I was also worried about the laxative action. I was sure that only Brianna and I had enough for it to be a factor. But time would tell, and it did, as you shall soon see.

Brianna announced it was time for the search game. She explained the set-up. “There are ten pie pans full of messy substances. They are covered up now so you can’t see which is which. One is empty. That one will get whipped cream when it is chosen. When it is your turn, take one of the remaining numbers. You will be paired with one other player. You are not competing directly against that other player. You are competing against the clock. We are going in pairs so that everyone can enjoy watching other players get down and messy. In your pie pan are hidden small objects. You have to find them without using your hands. In fact, your hands will be tied behind you. You will kneel on the pool table and the pan will be in front of you. I’m not telling how many items are in each pan, but it is the same in all pans. You’ll have to find that out. Obviously the first two people will determine that number. That will make it harder for them than the rest of us. Some of the objects are smaller than the others. Some of the messy substances are easier than the others. Which one you get is the luck of the draw. Since I know which is which, I will go last. Does anyone have any questions?”

“What if there is a tie?” Brian asked.

“The group will decide who had the harder task and give them the lesser forfeit points,” answered Brianna.

No one had any more questions. Brianna had us stand in a circle and she spun a bottle. As luck would have it, it pointed directly at me. I chose pan number seven. It was placed on one end of the plastic-covered pool table. Brianna spun the bottle again. Molly was the unlucky recipient of its choice. She chose pan number two and it joined its partner on the pool table. We both climbed up and knelt in front of our respective pans, while our hands were being tied behind us. The pans were right next to each other. It would be hard to avoid getting into each other’s mess. I guess that was the whole point. Brianna still wouldn’t tell us what we were looking for. The tops were removed from the pans. Mine was filled with ketchup and Molly’s had chocolate pudding. I offered a trade, but Molly declined. When Brianna called go, Molly and I both slammed our faces into the pans and started rooting around. I could tell that Molly found something right away. Then I felt something with my lips and picked it up and spit it on the side. It was a raisin. Back I went in for more. When I came up with my third raisin, I saw six olives next to Molly’s pan. She got an easier one than I did. I was going as fast as I could, but it seemed like it was taking forever. Molly was still probing, but didn’t seem to be finding anything else. Perhaps the number was six. I quickly found two more raisins and continued to hunt. When I found the sixth, Brianna called “STOP!” and we both came up for air. It was clear than Molly had beaten me, but I had to hope that some of the other pans were worse than mine. Knowing Brianna, they would be.

Brianna announced the times, “Molly – one minute, 37 seconds; Willy – three minutes, 14 seconds!” The remaining seven people circled up and Brianna spun the bottle. This time the bottle chose Colleen. She chose pan number one. The second spin of the bottle pointed to Libby. She picked pan number three. They crawled up on the table with their pans, their hands were tied, and the covers came off their pans. Colleen lucked out. Her pan was empty, meaning she got the whipped cream. Sitting on the bottom of her pan were six jelly beans. She was going to make fast work of that. Libby got kind of a green, creamy Jello. Brianna called “GO!”, and they plunged their faces in. As expected, Colleen made quick work of the whipped cream and jelly beans. Libby’s objects turned out to be Maraschino cherries. These were not too hard to find. The contest ended pretty quickly with good times for both of them: Colleen – 52 seconds, Libby – one minute, 47 seconds. Two rounds gone, three to go.

The next two victims were Rachel and Brian. Rachel chose number five and Brian picked number nine. Quickly they were on the pool table ready to go. Rachel got grape jelly and you could sort of see objects in the jelly, so her job looked easy. On the other hand, Brian got mustard. Maybe he would fall behind me. Brianna started them and Rachel got off to a quick start. Her objects turned out to be peanut seeds. It took her no time to find them all, though she was a sticky mess. Her time was 1:03, leaving her right behind Colleen. Rachel had found all of her peanuts before Brian had anything. He seemed to be struggling to pick something up. Finally he rose up from the mustard and deposited a penny by his pan. Apparently all his pennies were lying flat on the bottom of his pan. His was truly an unlucky choice. It seemed to take him forever to finish all six. He stumbled in with a time of 5:28.

“I’m doomed for last place, “he complained.

“I don’t think so,” commented Brianna. “There are two pans that are probably worse.”

There was an audible groan from Jeannie, Bridget, and Kristy. They looked around at each other. Bridget spoke up, “Let the two guests go next, and I’ll do the last round with you.” Brianna agreed and spun the bottle between Kristy and Jeannie. It pointed to Kristy and she chose pan number eight. Jeannie opted for number six. Up on the table they climbed and prepared for the worst. They were pleasantly surprised when the covers came off. Jeannie had tomato sauce and Kristy had baked beans. The look on Bridget’s face was priceless. Brianna just said, “Oh! Shit!”

The word was given and the two guests went at it. Kristy didn’t hold back anything. She certainly wasn’t inhibited now. She began to pull M&M’s out of her pan, while Jeannie was retrieving marbles. The big marbles were easy to find and Jeannie finished quickly. Finding the M&M’s among the beans was more of a challenge. Kristy was not posting a good time, but it didn’t seem to be as bad as Brian’s. When all was said and done, Jeannie was in at 59 seconds, while Kristy struggled in at 3:13, beating me by just one second.

Brianna turned to Bridget and said, “One of the last two is bad, but the other is almost impossible, which one do you want?”

Bridget looked at the two pans and chose number four, leaving number ten for Brianna. Brianna just grimaced and we could see that she just got the fuzzy end of the stick. But Brianna never chickens out on anything, so she and Bridget climbed on to the table. “Just for drama’s sake,” Brianna said, “unveil Bridget’s first and then mine.” The cover came off of Bridget’s pan revealing creamy peanut butter. We all groaned and felt sorry for Bridget. “You ain’t seen nothing yet, “said Brianna. The cover of her pan came off and it was filled with Crisco. “I set it up, I guess I deserve it,” she said dejectedly.

The two girls started and it became clear that they would garner the most forfeit points. It was hard going for both, but the Crisco was so much grosser. We could hardly look at Brianna. When Bridget finally found an object, it was an almond. Brianna’s was candy corn, which she already knew, but it didn’t make it any easier to find. Everyone, especially Brianna and Bridget, were wishing it was all over long before it was. Bridget did beat Brianna, posting a time of 7:11. Brianna went all the way to 10:43 before she found the last piece of candy corn.

At this point the forfeit point standings looked like this:

Brianna 25
Willy 20
Brian 17
Bridget 17
Kristy 14
Libby 10
Rachel 9
Molly 8
Jeannie 6
Colleen 2