[interesting]

What the fuck was I thinking, agreeing to this?

I arrive at Brian's place at nine. Very professional. I couldn't fall asleep until two. I woke up at the expected time, but I snoozed. Then, I rushed to get here. No shower. The make-up lady has been waiting on me. Brian didn't call though. As I walk in the door, he looks at me and he can tell something is off. Brian can read people like no one else. Sometimes, I wish he and I could be together. He'd know how to handle me. He says nothing though, and moves me to meet with Liandra, a gorgeous black woman in her forties that's going to be doing my make-up. She sits me down and starts tossing my hair around. I should have taken a shower. I smell like yesterday.

I finally emerge from my daze and see my female co-star. Her stage name is Keela. She's smoking hot, if you're into girls that are rebuilt from the ground up. I've watched several of her performances, knowing who I was going to be paired with. She's six feet tall, perfect waist, and her boobs are staring at my eyes. She's wearing a satin robe and I see she wears nothing underneath. I'm going to be sampling the goods later.

"Nervous?" she asks me.
"Yeah. Very."
"We'll have fun... just relax and enjoy."

I'm not worried about the sex. I'm worried about the acting - what little there is to do anyway. I keep fidgeting on my chair, so Liandra threatens to tape me to my chair. I make a conscious effort to let her finish the make-up. All the while, I'm thinking there's something I need to tell Brian. But I don't have to go get him. It's around nine thirty when he comes to get me, and Liandra is practically done. I stare at myself in the mirror: I have never worn so much make-up in my life. I feel like a blow-up doll.

"Jennifer..."
"Yes, Brian?"
"There's... someone here, for you."
"Oh shit... I got it."
"You'd better."

Dammit! Why didn't I tell Brian? For that matter, why did I tell them? I'm off the chair and to the door. I'm in my bra and panties, but that doesn't faze me one bit. There he is, standing in the doorway. He's cleaner than last night - cleaner than me. He seems lost, and I'm wondering if it's such as good idea to have him here. But he's here. He came to see me. I shouldn't be surprised really.

"Daniel."

I give him a hug. He stiffens up. I am wearing very little, but he's seen me with less, though I was younger. Distance and time. I feel Brian's presence behind me, but it's a comforting one. He's not judging. I do introductions.

"Brian, this is Daniel... a friend."

Why do I lie?

"Daniel. A pleasure."

They shake hands. It's a strong grip. They're assessing each other.

"Boyfriend?" Brian asks.
"No. Not at all."

Of course, Daniel is defensive.

"Brian's my agent and photographer. He takes good care of me."
"What brings you here, Daniel?"
"um..."
"I invited him."

Brian stares at me. Porn sets are usually closed, from what I've been told. We don't want just anyone walking in and disrupting the production. I have to make up something that will convince Brian to let him in.

"He's... thinking of becoming a porn star, and he wants to know what it's like on a set."
"And you bring him to your first shoot?"
"Well, I ran into him quite unexpectedly... last night."

Brian is smarter than the two of us combined. Of course, he's going to figure out something. But the one thing I love about Brian is the respect he has for everyone he works with.

"Well, we have to clear it with the rest of the crew, don't we?"
"Yeah, you're right."

Why did I even invite my adopted brother? It now seems like the dumbest move in the world. Brian walks away, and I remain with Daniel. He's staring at my face. I'm in my underwear and he's staring at my face.

"What?"
"You look like a whore!"

The way he blurts it isn't mean to be insulting. I start laughing.

"Yeah, I kinda do..."

He's laughing too, and the tension is gone. I still need to ask him.

"Why are you here, Daniel?"
"Because... because, I care about you, and I want to make sure you're doing this for the right reason..."
"And it has nothing to do with seeing me naked or getting fucked?"
"Well, maybe a little... but seriously, Jenny... you want to do this?"
"Yeah. It may not make sense to you but..."
"No, weird thing is... it does. Listen, when you're done here, we should go have lunch somewhere... get Janice, have another talk, like last night."
"I'd like that."
"And... something else..."

He pauses for a long time.

"Janice... she's sorry about last night, about being so uptight. She... really wanted to be here, this morning, but she doesn't have a babysitter."
"That's fine."

It's funny how one night of hard conversation can completely alter a relationship. We were all so messed up back then. I see Brian is coming back towards us and I cringe. I want Daniel to stay, but it's not up to me.

"So... Daniel... you really want to be a porn star?"
"umm... maybe. I... need a change of venue."

That sounds sincere. His problems with the law may be catching up to him.

"Well, I spoke to the crew, and they don't mind."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but there are ground rules. Follow me. Jennifer, you need to head to the set."

I nod. I give a hug to Daniel and proceed towards the bedroom where we will be shooting. I finally meet my male co-stars. They're still fully dressed. The blonde one is called Johnny Cox. He has the nicest abs in the world, better than Tom's. His dick isn't that big, but it's long. I'm wondering if I can deep throat it. There's also an African American. They call him Dee Ten. Ten inches of chocolate cock. They smile at me and we introduce ourselves. Keela is on the other side of the room, talking to the camera guy. He's her boyfriend, apparently. His name is Hans and he'll be holding the steady-cam. The other camera person is a woman. Junebug they call her. She's handling the still cam. I'm learning all of this behind the scenes stuff and it's fascinating. We don't chat much.

Junebug calls our attention. She's directing. This is going to be weird. Usually, when I start having sex, I don't stop, but apparently in porn, you keep going on and off, and on, and off. We don't have a fluffer with us. That's a woman whose job it is the keep the men hard in-between takes. It'll be our job, Keela and me, apparently.

I catch sight of Brian and Daniel on the way. Brian is also the producer. It's his home. He's used it in hundreds of shoots. So many rooms, so many hot places. I've never fucked in this room. It will be nice. Daniel seems nervous. Junebug is giving us directions, telling us not to look at the camera at all. This isn't some POV shoot. I keep looking back at Daniel. It's almost ten. My male co-stars move outside the frame to the right. I head left. Keela is now wearing lingerie and she sits down on the bed. Junebug and her get to talking about something, but I lose track. I see Daniel and Brian moving closer, talking to my male co-stars. I want to know what they're saying, but I'm on the other side of the room. As Junebug retreats behind her camera, Brian calls to her.

"June."
"Yep?"
"This is Brian... Jenny's friend."

They shake hands.

"So, you're into porn?" June asks nonchalantly.
"Yeah... I love it."
"What makes you think you'd be good at it?"
"Well... uh... I like sex and..."
"How big are you? Are you cut?"

Daniel freezes. The other guys laugh.

"You haven't really thought this through," Dee tells him.
"No... not really, I guess."
"Want to cameo?" June asks him.
"What?"
"Do you want to be in the scene?"

Daniel stiffens even more.

"Relax, you don't even need to be naked. You see the window back there?"
"Yeah."
"Well, you can go around and look into the room, be like a peeping tom of some kind."
"And, umm... you'd see my face?"
"Yeah?"
"Do I get paid?"
"No. You only get paid if you perform, not if you just stand there. And I don't think you're ready to perform..."
"Besides," Brian intervenes, "he hasn't been checked."
"True."

Checked. Medical exam. I went through that one last week. It's mandatory in working with Brian. No diseases. I respect that.

"So... you want to cameo?" June asks him.
"umm... ok."
"Great. Brian'll show you the spot."

It's smart, really. He gets to look in on the action, but he does so from behind the window, so he's not disrupting the set. I like her. I'm a bit disappointed he won't be in the room, but maybe it's better that way. Junebug tells everyone to get in position. We are going to shoot this one. I'm going to be doing porn.