Honestly, your Twitter handle reminded me of Gravity Falls and I just had to get a bit creative with these.
I'm giving you 5 edges, but you have to hum Gravity Falls Theme Song while trying to reach every single one.
If you match the end of the song with edge - you get to not hurt yourself.
If you finish the song before finishing your edge - hit your balls with open hand.
If you finish your edge before finishijng the song - hit your balls with closed hand (fist).
Have fun!
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