[interesting]

I was coming back from the hot dog stand when I noticed a commotion around Sarah. It was noon and she had gotten hungry. I knew a hot dog vendor parked his cart just outside of the beach, so I'd offered to buy her some. I'd remained in trunks, but had put on my shoes and a t-shirt. I was coming back with two hot dogs, one for her, relish, mustard, ketchup and onions, and one for me, just plain ketchup and onions. I also had a soft drink in my other hand. I was walking across the sand when I saw three individuals gathered near the parasol which had shielded us from the lifeguard.

It took me a moment to recognize them, at least one of them. He had been in my class. His name was Jake, but that was as far as it went. He sat in the back and paid little attention. He'd passed the semester, barely. There were two other guys, from their attire and attitude I guessed jocks. This was not something I was looking forward to. Despite the propriety of my relationship with Sarah, now that she was no longer my student, I wondered how they would react. I also wondered what they were doing there. I made my approach and finally heard voices and got the gist of the conversation. Jake was talking.

"All I'm saying, babe, is you could come hang out with us, you know.
"For the last time, J., no.
"Why not?"

Cue my entrance. One of the jocks had spotted me.

"Hey, bro, check this guy out."

Jake turned towards me and immediately recognized me.

"Hey teach... I get it. You're nailing the teach.
"No, I'm not."

Sarah's comment hurt me. She refused to acknowledge we were dating, sort of? How could she? But again, I had jumped to conclusions.

"He's not my teacher anymore."

She got up and came towards me, avoiding the hands of the men in her way. She retrieved her hot dog and the soft drink and thanked me.

"This the best you can do, Sar?
"He's much better than you, I can tell you that much.
"How can you know when you haven't sampled the merchandise?
"I've seen all I need to see."

Jake was getting nowhere with Sarah so he turned towards me. I could sense some intimidation coming up. Luckily for me, this was not the first time I'd dealt with a troublemaker.

"So, she any good?
"None of your business. Why don't you boys leave us alone?
"Sat' so? This is a free country, man.
"It is. And I'm free to tell you you're bothering Sarah. Please leave.
"Please leave..."

He played with my answer. Jake was acting tough to impress his posse. I was not about to let him hone in on my turf - had I really just thought that?

"Sarah, last chance. Ditch this loser and go with a real man!

She turned to me.

"What do you think, honey?"

I was pleasantly surprised by the surname. It empowered me to act on her behalf, something which I'd wanted to do but dared not because I did not want to be her knight in shining armor. The surname created a connection between us, even in the mind of Jake.

"I think Jake should leave. How about you, dear?
"I think so too."

Jake was not about to look for trouble in a public place. He darted away, his posse in tow. But before he left, he tried to give me a warning.

"Telling you, man, that girl's crazy... she'll eat out you alive like a man-eating pirahna!"

And with that last piece of advice, he and his gang strode off the beach, acting like they owned the place. I sat down besides Sarah and smiled at her. She, of course, smiled back.

"You handled yourself pretty well.
"It's not the first time I've been bullied. I have ten years on him anyway."

It was then I actually realized that I also had ten years on her. My comment trailed off into silence.

"Don't worry about it.
"Is he an ex-boyfriend?
"Hardly. He's had a crush on me forever. Always trying to get into my pants. But that's a privilege I reserve to one special man."

Suddenly, my mind wandered. Was she a virgin? Had she not been with another man? She'd had several boyfriends, sure, but it could all have been mostly foreplay, or like we'd done in the past few days. Maybe that was the reason she was not ready to go all the way. The question burned in my mind, but I decided I'd leave it alone for now.

We remained on the beach for a time, taking in the sun, taking about the weather, laughing at Jake's troubles. Eventually, we both fell quiet. There was no unease, just peace.

She rose from her towel.

"I'm going in the water. Would you accompany me?"

I was not sure I wanted to. After the stunt she'd pulled in the morning, I was pretty nervous.

"You don't have to go far. Just stay on the edge of the water, with your feet in it. Can you do that for me?"

I decided it was all right. As long as the water remained below my waist, I could handle the panic. She took my hand and dragged me towards the shore. The water was a little warner but still cold. She dove right in. I sat down on the beach, my toes in the water and I watched her play there. She dove under the waterline, then rose, shook her head, looked at me, smiled and then dove again.

Eventually, she remained under the blue for longer than usual. I started to panic but I saw her rise, her top half out of the water. I noticed something odd hanging from her neck. It took me a moment to realize it was her bikini bottom. She smiled, and plunged in the water, so I would see her buttocks as she dived in. She rose out immediately, a wry smile on her face.

I moved a little into the water so I did not have to scream to talk to her.

"What are you doing?
"Having fun?
"Put it back on.
"Why?
"Because... we're in a public place. Someone could see.
"The lifeguard is too far to notice anything, and no one else is in this section of the water.
"But....
"Exactly."

I wondered what her game was this time. I noticed she was slowly walking towards me, out of the water.

"No... stay in the water.
"No, I won't.
"Why? What are you doing?
"Tell you what. You want me to stay in the water and not expose myself to the beach crowd, you meet me halfway.
"You're insane!
"Yes. Will you do it?"

Mixed feelings poured up inside me. She was playing with my emotions again. On the one hand, the prospect of seeing her naked again was enticing. On the other, if she was seen, and I was seen with her, there would be complications. But I could not run away. Resolutly, I advanced into the water, if only to appease my sense of modesty. I reached her before she could expose herself any further. I felt tense, no longer in control.

"Hold on to me."

Her tone was serious, for once. I flung my arms around her shoulder.

"I'm here. I'm a trained lifeguard. Did I tell you that?"

No she had not. And it just made the situation more infuriating.

"If you stay calm, nothing will happen. I am here."

She hugged me close. Her bikini bottom, hanging from her neck, pressed against my chest. I was trembling, and not only because of the cold.

"Breathe slowly. Try to breathe at the same rhythm as me."

I tried. It didn't work.

"Try again. James, look at me."

She had never called me James before.

"You can do this. I know you can. I want to help you overcome your fear. I know it's hard. Believe me, I know.
"Fear... of... heights...
"Yes. Others too. I wasn't always so frivolous and open. I worked on it. I learned and I changed, but only because I wanted to. I know you want to change, at least, no longer be afraid."

As she was talking, she slowly knelt in the water, dragging me down with her, making the water rise. I closed my eyes, safe in her arms, unsafe in the water, unsure how to feel. I felt her lips against my neck, and then her hand reached down on my trunks. Slowly, delicately, she pulled them off, lifting one leg, then the other, until they were no longer on me. She hung on to them with her foot.

"There. Now you're naked in the water. You can't go out. You have to learn to trust me."

I was paralyzed with fear. She held onto me more tightly, and suddenly, I felt her rub herself against me.

"Relax."

At first, I did not want to relax. I wanted to run. I hated her for what she was putting me through. But she had the power right now, and I did realize she was, in her own twisted way, actually trying to help me. I felt her hand tease me under the water.

"If you want to take me, now, you can. I don't mind."

I'd been waiting for this moment for days. I felt her presence against me stimulating me, with her hand and her rubbing, but try as I might, there was no reaction. Maybe it was the fear. Maybe it was the cold. Probably both. She kept at it for a few minutes, and my tension did decrease, there, water just under neck level, in her arms. I felt calm, serene. She tried to push me into her but to no avail. There was no reaction on my part. She seemed upset. Things were probably not going as well as she had planned them.

"We should get out of here."

She handed me my trunks. I was saddened by her attitude, yet I could not focus on it right now. I put my suit back on just as she returned her bikini bottom to its rightful place, and she helped me back to shore. I was spent. I had rarely felt such conflicting emotions. My nerves were breaking. I looked back at the water as I exited, cursed silently at it, and realized it had not taken me away. Sarah had protected me, as she said she would. As I watched her return to our spot, I felt sorry for her. She had tried to help me and I'd failed. Again. Not only that, I had lost my opportunity to be with her.

Things were not looking so good anymore.