Wow! All I can say is wow! I have seen a lot, and done a lot, and read a lot of posts, and blogs, and all and yours is absolutely the best ever thread. Thank you. What you are trying to do is fantastic. I see where some on here have no clue why you would do this. They just don't understand. I do. I am inspired by you! It took me 3 days of spare time to read every post in your thread. I am totally awestruck. I feel like I have no choice but to follow in your footsteps and worship the ground that you walk on. I have played with toys a lot. I have actually even recently tried putting different kinds of tubes in my ass that would stay in by themselves, but leave my hole open for total lack of control. So when I read your post it blew me away.
The other day I purchased a bottle of salad dressing at the supermarket. The one end of the bottle with the cap swells out below the threaded top to about 1 1/2 inches wide, then it narrows down to about 3/4 inches and then flares out tothe full size of the flat bottle. I intend to open the bottle, clean it out, cut 3/4 of the main body of the bottle off (it is plastic) and push the threaded top end into my ass past the flared top so that the narrower section stays holding my rectum open, with an opening at the top inside my ass, and the flared bottom open at my cheeks. Not sure how this will work out, but am excited to try. Just waiting for some free time alone.
I know this would be way to small for you, but there is something similar that I suspect you would love to use, if you can find it in NZ. It is common here in the U.S. It is a product called POM. It is found in the produce area of our supermarkets. It comes in a plastic bottle that, when full and unopened, I suspect would be EXACTLY what you need to hold your rectum open for extended periods to work on your permanent gape.
They have a website at
www.pomwonderful.com so you can see their bottles there. The two round parts of the bottle (like a snowman) are each the size of an apple, so this might be just the thing to hold half in and half out of your ass for extended periods. And it is not expensive, only a few dollars a bottle.
I only dream of the day I could hold a bottle of this size in my ass. You did inspire me however. I went out last night and bought a 4 inch ball like you keep talking about. Just to put perspective on how far apart we are, (or how good you are doing), I put the ball needle in the ball and totally deflated it, to around 1-2 inches across, folded rubber, and hand a hard time putting it in my ass. I took it out after about 10 minutes without ever putting any air in it! But it did open my ass nicely to take my whole finger in behind it!
Sorry for being so long winded, but I've never been so moved by anyone before. I am humbly striving to follow in your footsteps!