Chapter 5
Sorry for the long delay I've been super busy with work and school.
Despite a waning interest I decided to keep up my original bargain and not worry about what people thought about what I write. I know it's a slow pace but I think you'll find it worth it.
The words began to flow, just not from my mouth, Jaaron had come to my rescue. I watched as Cameron pondered what to do.
“Well, Jack, it appears as if you have a friend here,” he said. “If not I wouldn’t hesitate to send you right back to the clink.”
“Thanks, I guess,” I said trying to comprehend what exactly I was supposed to do. After more thought I still couldn’t come up with anything. “What exactly do you expect me to do? If I don’t fight back they will railroad me. I’ve done the new kid routine a couple of times.”
“I expect to not get a new asshole torn open everyday thanks to you,” he replied. “If I don’t get you all under control by Friday, I’m gone and you’ll have a new counselor to worry about.”
“We’re sorry,” Bryan said. “You know we’re just having fun.
“This isn’t the place for fun,” Cameron scolded. “You haven’t figured that out yet? This is a juvenile rehabilitation center. We’re here for rehabilitating not
‘fun’!”
“Take a chill pill,” Larry said.
“Whatever,” he said frustrated. “If you want a new counselor go ahead and keep at it. But, I am not going without a fight. If I have to stay up all night to make sure you guys don’t cause trouble, I’ll do it.”
“Knock yourself out,” Jaaron said.
“I’m done,” he said. “You guys do your homework and I’m going to take a nap so I can watch you guys all night. I made arrangements for another counselor to come and watch you while I’m asleep.”
“Cool,” we said sarcastically.
Cameron retreated to his quarters and locked the door. We did what we were told, deciding to let things cool down a bit before we all found ourselves doing hard time. The rest of the night was uneventful and we eventually resigned ourselves to sleep.
Parents’ weekend was coming in a couple of days and the guys didn’t want to jeopardize their visitation privileges. Saturday rolled around and I slept in – I wasn’t expecting anyone, after all I didn’t have anyone left.
Cameron came back after his morning meeting to find me still sawing logs. He gently shook me awake and asked why I wasn’t with my family.
“Hey man, why are you still asleep?” he asked. “It’s parent’s weekend go enjoy.”
“Enjoy what, I don’t have parents,” I said.
“Everyone has parents,” he said.
“Well I used to,” I said with the pain of loss flooding back.
He could see the anguish in my eyes and he gently put his arm around me.
“You know I wondered why the name on you emergency contact was different,” he said. “What happened?”
“There was a fire,” I said with tears starting to well up in my eyes. “It spread so fast they never had a chance.”
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “So you have no family left?”
“I have some older siblings,” I said as a tear rolled down my cheek.
“Why didn’t you invite them,” he asked grabbing a tissue.
“I can’t really,” I said. “My older brother is in Iraq the last I heard and the other is in prison. My sister is at Stanford and can’t afford to come back just to see me.”
“That’s sad,” he said sympathetically.
“I just wanted to belong to a family again,” I said. “I felt at home here, and the guys have welcomed me. I don’t think I’d survive going back to the
detention center.”
“Why do you say that,” Cameron asked. “You seem pretty well adjusted.”
“I don’t think I want to talk anymore,” I said trying to avoid going farther.
“We’ve come this far,” Cameron encouraged. “What are a couple more questions?”
“You don’t know what it’s like in there,” I said. “I tried to kill myself.”
“Well I can’t say that I condone those actions,” he said. “What would bring you to that point?”
Tears rolled down my face. I struggled for air while sobbing uncontrollably.
“Take it easy,” he said clutching me in to an embrace. “It’s okay now you’re not there anymore. Just breathe. I’m right here for you.”
I fought through the tears to finish what I had started. Cameron was right I had come this far and I was this close to the end – I should just finish.
“All I did was lay in a cell that I could touch all four walls in if I tried,” I began. “I saw no one they wouldn’t let me out for anything, except for punishing me. I gave up hope. Here I was 13 years old with nothing to live for. I didn’t think it could get any worse – but it did. They let me out for the funeral and I watched the 6 caskets roll by. They wouldn’t even let me see my brothers and sister. I wanted to join them as they lowered them into the ground.”
I was sobbing again as I finished. All Cameron could do was to wrap me into a tighter embrace as I let it out. He eased me back down to my pillow and ran his fingers through my hair until I fell back asleep.
What I didn’t know was we were not alone and there would be hell to pay for crying like I was a little girl.
|