Well I ended up doing 5 weird objects in total!
I originally planned to do:
Boiled egg (Miss Butterfly)
Old phone (bluedieblub)
Whipped cream (Leland)
However I also ended up doing:
Sausage (Miss Butterfly)
Dandelion (Marinus)
Dandelion
I started with the flower, as I had just picked that and I didn't want it to go dead. I actually DID find a dandelion and getting its small root in my ass was easy enough. Posing myself as a vase before the timed camera was not. It actually took several takes and some neck pain but I managed as best I could and sent the picture to Miss Butterfly.
Old phone
After warming my ass up by fucking myself with a dildo, I tried my old Nokia phone inside a condom. The phone was small enough so the size wasn't the problem. The problem that it was too square and the corners were rough. I didn't exactly manage to get it inside and I didn't want to force it and accidentally injure my delicate hole.
Sausage
Next up was the sausage. I actually thought the egg would not work as it would turn to mush (I did peel it!) trying to push it inside my not-so-loose asshole. So instead I did the sausage which I was sure would work. This was in fact the easiest and it felt pretty much the same as my dildo. But more smooth!
Egg
Now I did the egg and it actually worked surprisingly well! I did boil it for 12 minutes so it was pretty firm. I lubed up my fuck hole very well and with some pushing and effort I actually got it inside still on one piece. Now the fun part: I pushed it outside and thus this worm layed its first egg. It felt pretty nice pushing it out.
Whipped cream
Finally the whipped cream. Squirting it inside me was hard. The nozzle had some rough edges and it was so short I could hardly press the button with enough force to get it to squirt. But with effort I managed and managed a lot. Then the most fun part: ejecting it. This actually was fun as I layed in the bathtub and squirted a good strong stream of white cream to the other side of the bath. I repeated a few times for good measure.
Thanks guys for all the weird ideas. Out of these I think I enjoyed the egg and the whipped cream the most!