[fieldman]

A punishment report written as part of a disciplinary process I administered a few weeks ago. I'm happy to say the bad behaviour ceased afterwards.

I recently needed punishment because in the past six weeks I’ve spent $7,400. My spending has been dealt with before and has never been to this extreme before. First, my ability to touch was taken away and the next day a toilet schedule was put in place. I am permitted to use the bathroom five times per day and only for 3 minutes long each time. I also have to keep up my water intake to 8 cups a day, which I still haven’t met that goal yet but I am trying to drink more than usual. I know that when it’s reevaluated in 2 weeks that my chances of having it extended if I haven’t been keeping up my water intake are high so I’m motivated to drink at least something every single day.

On Tuesday night, we talked about how much I spent. I was in only a robe and panties. I had to add up everything I’d spent and also tell the ten most expensive items. Some of those consisted of candles, perfumes, shoes, and purses. I did need to use the bathroom badly, but it was outside of a scheduled time and I was told to stand in the shower until I finished calculating the total and the top 10 items. I wasn’t able to hold it until the end of our talk and so I had to pee in the shower. It was so humiliating and I didn’t admit to it on my own. I had to be asked as my messages weren’t so desperate anymore. One thing I’m still guilty for is that in my desperation I did type in all caps. I did receive nipple pinches for that after our talk was over.

My formal punishment happened on Saturday afternoon. The dread and anxiety leading up to that was agonizing. Especially on Saturday morning and early afternoon before the punishment was inflicted. I had to do spanks, lines, and corner time. I was a disappointment on quite a few occasions during the punishment which I am extremely embarrassed to admit. For the spanks, I did need to do 6 dozen on my bottom, 3 dozen on my tits, 3 dozen on my inner thighs, and 3 dozen on my pussy. I was mortified at first and I did have to try extremely hard to not complain or argue. I have a habit of letting my fear get the best of me and I just wanted to do perfect this time. I knew I’d have to write a public report and I didn’t want to write about any mistakes.

I can get overwhelmed fairly easily and so the spanks were administered in such a way to avoid that. I was given commands to give one set of dozen at a time. I almost did freeze up, but once I made it through that challenge I fully surrendered to each command. It felt freeing and different than what I’ve ever experienced before. When I expressed those feelings after the punishment, I was told that that’s what subspace is. I like it there and I’d love to go back again. Maybe not during a punishment because those should be avoided at all costs; however, when playing I’d love to visit subspace again.

The lines were brutal. 60 lines of “I must keep my spending under control and stop myself from buying things I don’t need and can’t afford.” Not to mention, during the lines I was sitting on rice. Once I finally thought I was finished I was allowed to stand up while my lines were checked. Unfortunately for me I got several words mixed up as I wrote. I swapped buying and spending, I wrote control at the end instead of afford. I was mad at first. My arm and bottom were in such pain from the lines and the spanking. I did say it wasn’t fair and try to argue my case. I shouldn’t have done that, I regret it. I asked for forgiveness but I was told forgiveness won’t be given until the end of the punishment.

I had to write lines 11, 13, 14, 16, 18, 19, 21-45, and 50 all over again. I know it’s important that I’m held to the highest standards and I still do feel guilty for arguing against having to rewrite them. I am thankful to be held to that high standard. The fact that I am shows that the way I do things matters to him. It might not make me the happiest when I have to rewrite over half my punishment lines, but I do know that those careless mistakes aren’t acceptable and I should have paid closer attention. The rewrites were my fault and I have no one to blame for that other than myself.

It did take me so long to finish the lines that I wasn’t able to receive the last part of my punishment (corner time) right away. After an hour I laid in my bed and waited, agonizing over the mistakes I made in my punishment and the mistake I made spending so much money. Finally, he woke up sometime through the night (we are on different time zones) and he gave me 7 minutes of corner time. He shortened it from his original plan of 12 minutes which I was thankful for. I really struggle standing still for a long time and I move around sometimes when I’m not supposed to. I did get fidgety twice, which I admitted to and was able to be forgiven for that. I also was told that I was forgiven for the mistake I had to cross out in my rewritten punishment lines. I’m so thankful for that.

We were able to talk afterwards which I’m thankful that he takes the time to talk to me. I won’t make this mistake for a long time and I learned my lesson. I beg of you, please don’t say anything cruel in the comments. Thank you for reading.

If you have read this and wish to discuss being disciplined or held to account for something you have or haven't done, PM me. I'm as happy to chat about the dynamics and process as I am to administer whatever is required.