Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomPersin
I didn't say that I couldn't disagree with your other points. I am just tired of the "Well she should learn to keep her story straight, tell us personal details without trust being built, or stop trying." crowd.
As I said before the "Hey you changed what you said your job is" does not seem like an actual warning sign, more of a nitpick of how people don't understand that some others don't like releasing personal info so they pick any random professional job to convey that they have a professional job.
And no where did I say you have to think the same but continuously harping on it and replying to multiple people shows that it is something that you take rather personally in some way. Yes you seem upset that someone used a different fake job than they did before. The warning that this could be a fake post was already there, continuously repeating the same fact that you don't like their choice while criticizing me for calling out your choice is telling "I can tell her she isn't allowed to think that is okay but you can't tell me I can't think something."
The reason to put a fake occupation helps solve 2 issues, 1 it makes it so a temporary dom doesn't ask a question about what you do for a living so you don't feel the need to lie. 2 it conveys the fact that you have a part of your life that kink should not impact (which given the wording is the main reason). I myself give out a specific job title but I have been doing this longer than OP seems to have.
You seem to be making a sweeping generalization about OP by saying "years of getDare that I’ve encountered plenty of liars and fakers, who didn’t think I’d notice their inconsistencies or lies" when you found 1 lie on OPs post. Multiple people have stated that they would do the same thing but you demand that it is a red flag that the whole site seems to need to be aware of. A simple question instead of multiple rants would have worked better to teach OP and make people aware.
"Please remember we are all different," while you demand that we think the same as you and change our mentality to fit yours by saying "If nothing else this appears to have been a learning experience for the OP, whether that is negative or positive for them." what exactly do you think they should learn? To not do things their way and do what you suggest. See how that changes your "we are all different"
You repeatedly hounding this is more of a red flag on your end that you should learn instead of repeatedly trying to talk down to others and get worse in your attitude on how you reply. This site is full of a lot of people who are just now learning kink and opening up, deciding to put them on blast and treat them as you have is not a conducive way to help the community.
I didn't want to go point by point because each of your comments just make you look worse. Please learn that others are still new and should not be chastised into learning, it is proven to not work and scares them away. Even if it is the way you act as a dom or top remember safe sane and CONSENSUAL. Unless the person consents to you chastising them then you do not have the right to.
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Firstly, I replied to a couple of people, as they chose to engage with my comment. Like I said before, which you seem to ignore, I’m not at all upset about anything here, so please stop presuming and trying to infer that I am, just because I choose to reply and debate.
As I’ve said before people are free to say or do whatever they want, but some people may choose to pass comment, which is totally fine. If people want to pass comment then I may choose to respond, which isn’t continuously harping or hounding on, it’s discussion. You choose to reply to me, so I choose to respond to you.
Every day is a school day, for me and everyone, we are all continually learning. I don’t claim to know everything or always be right, but I have a lot of experience. If that doesn’t fit your narrative of how someone should behave or what values they should hold then so be it. I’m not talking down to anyone, I’m debating. Sometimes you will have to accept that there may be a difference of opinion and that is fine, but again you’re making very personal comments about me to justify your argument, which is quite sad and unnecessary, and again this doesn’t reflect well on you. I’m not demanding anyone thinks the same as me or hold the same values, but I know that some will. Just because that may be different you’re doesn’t make it wrong, it’s just different.
I’m fully aware there are lots of newbies here, I welcome lots of newbies and offer mentoring, support, advice if they would like it. But I will also pass comment, as others do, when things don’t appear to be quite right, and I’ve previously explained why I and others do this. You seem to ignore the fact that some people may deliberately deceive others for the fun of it, or whatever other reason they might have, it’s not all about being new and learning sadly.
As I’ve said before this kind of situation can be a learning experience for the OP, or indeed others reading the thread. I suspect we all figured out our preferences, likes, dislikes, limits etc. through reading, watching, researching and having actual experiences, both positive and negative ourselves. I always think there are positives to a negative experience, as it allows you to learn and grow and possibly not repeat previous mistakes, or learn that you may need to be smarter if you deliberately choose to deceive.
It’s interesting that you make a point about consent and not chastising someone without consent. If you re-read my initial comments you will see that I didn’t directly address the OP and chastise them, I merely passed comment about their inconsistencies and my previous experiences with others that had similar behaviour patterns.
It does appear though that you are happy to chastise me, insult me personally and try to belittle my actions, experience and values without my consent, which seems somewhat hypocritical, and is a huge red flag in my opinion. What gives you that right exactly if it’s the very thing you think others shouldn’t do? I’ve been happy to debate with you and explain my thoughts and actions etc. without resorting to such behaviour, I shall let everyone draw their own conclusions from that.