Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerlily
I want to start Tuesday night and have all of Wednesday.
How about this as a thought process of controlling my sleep as part of it. Something I've never done before. New territory.
Just when I am tired and ready for sleep, instead of being able to sleep, I have to kneel on grits on the wooden table top on the ground with a randomized timer set. I guess, let's got with, I don't know, let's be a little sadistic and go with 3 to 6 hours.
And whenever it finally goes off, I take a cold shower, kneeling, for however long. Whatever else afterwards.
Sleep where ever and for however long.
And then the next full day of Wednesday, including through Wednesday night into Thursday morning as well.
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Let me expand on the kneeling part, in case you haven't read it.
I always had trouble staying put kneeling on grits during punishments so I could see the timer for, I guess 30-to 1 hourish punishments.
Part of wanting to place myself in a kneeling position for an extended period of time isn't about the pain, but from history of being in that position and being unable to stay in that position for a punishment. Discipline teeters the scale over pain, even though pain will be very prominent here. And to have to do it sleep-deprived.
When doing attic play, I liked the aspect of being just a piece of furniture forgotten about. It gave a whole new layer of worthlessness, especially when not knowing how long I would remain there.
Being left in the dark added to it.
But when sleep is being controlled, I think I should be placed where there is bright lighting to prevent me from drifting off.
On another Note:
I do not edge. That sets off my anxiety. Perhaps I am not alone there.
OK,
So far here,
I have:
For Figging/&butt-plug:
ginger root
small, long cucumbers
Had an interesting time with shoving ice cubes up my ass if you flip back a page.
I would do it again, this time with a butt plug to hold it in.
If I put more ice cubes in, wouldn't that be like an enema?
Because I am lashing my hands, I have a thin, plastic rod and a metal ruler.
Part of it is because I enjoy the new pain. There is a lot of pleasure and excitement to this, and being lashed for the discipline to stay on tasks.
Grits to kneel on. I do have rice. Grits are like shards of glass though.
The thick, solid, wooden table top on the ground
I DO have all of your basic bdsm tools. The same I have always had. you know like rope and clothes pins
I no longer have my crotch rope, however. (and cannot make a new one at this time)
But, I figured not so much was really needed if
it is more focused on the mental and psychological.
It's not the tools and the pain that matter.
It's what the mindset goes into
and how effective it is,
reaching new levels for me.
Not just controlling
and degradation.
But dehumanization.