[andyrobson2006]

Game three: Barbie did not see this coming

Dick pulled four more contestants from a pot and Barbie had them line up in the usual places.

Then she described how this game would work. She would announce a topic like “signs of the zodiac.” The first contestant would have one second — yes, only one second — to name one of them, “gemini” say. The second contestant would then have a single second to name another, “taurus” say. A contestant would lose when they were unable to think of one fast enough or if they repeated one that had already been given. Each list would stop as soon as someone got it wrong. The lists would be simple, but the speed, the stress and the need to remember which ones had already been used made it very hard indeed.

Each time someone got it wrong they were to strip naked and start stroking their cock.

The last player with clothes was the winner. But once there was a winner the three naked players would play one more game and the first one to drop out of that would pay the forfeit.

I wasn’t paying that much attention to the game itself, to be honest. I was surprised just how fast a player got it wrong, though. Constituent states of the USA? They only made it through to twelve before Virginia was repeated. Constellations? How could you forget the zodiac examples given at the start? And so on. Of course, the frantic speed of the game made mistakes like this inevitable.

Soon there were three naked contestants and a $500 richer clothed one waiting for what came next. The winner left the stage and Barbie set the challenge for the losers: Capital cities of the European Union.

The first player, a tall man in his early twenties, kicked off with “London.” Bong!

“I’m sorry, Joey, but the UK isn‘t in the EU any more. You lose!”

Dick wheeled the frame back on stage and Joey allowed himself to be spread-eagled in it. Once that was done, Dick opened a little box on the side of the frame and pulled out a couple of wires with sticky pads on them. These he carefully attached to each side of Joey’s scrotum.

“While we let Joey contemplate his fate we need to deal with our two other losers. They simply have to finish off and shoot a load in front of the audience.”

And this is when Dick wheeled me back to the center.

“Cumdump! Cumdump!” I was beyond hating that name. The sheer amount of contempt I was being shown was burning into my very soul.

The two wanking losers closed in on me and in quick succession both shot both their loads cleanly through the hole in my gag and onto the back of my throat. Dick then took them off to the side to wait, “in case Joey needs some help walking after his forfeit.”

Joey’s eyes started to bulge and he started to shiver in fear. Barbie put on her sweetest voice and explained the pain that was waiting for him. He would have to do a long list for sixty seconds. Each time he missed one or repeated one his balls would get zapped.

“The list is chemical elements, Joey. Are you ready?”

“You want the chemical elements,” he confirmed, with a broad grin starting to spread over his face. Was he laughing? Perhaps he was a chemistry major and this was going to be trivial for him.

Then something amazing happened. Joey burst into song!

“There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium…”

As he sang the silly elements song he didn’t just sing. He bounced along in his bonds in time with the tune. He pointed with his fingers and waved them as if conducting an invisible band providing him with music. He threw everything at this performance and the audience lapped it up.

(Author’s note: Those of you who have never heard Tom Lehrer’s song of the elements to the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan’s Modern Major-General should stop what you are doing right now and look it up. Thank me later.)

“…These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard,
And there may be many others, but they haven't been discarvard.”

The audience lost it and fell about laughing. This cruel show, meticulously planned by the evil Barbie, had gone well and truly off-script, defeated by one of its would-be victims. Oh, how I envied Joey.

She walked away from the frame in a tight circle to regain her composure. It only took her a few seconds and by the time she returned to Joey she was all smiles and laughter.

“Oh, well done, Joey. Well done!” She removed the electrodes and enjoyed a brief fondle of his balls. “Forfeit paid in full!” She stood back and applauded as Dick released Joey’s ankles and wrists. Then she led him to join his fellow naked players who greeted him with high fives and slaps on the back.

“Thank you all, for making this relaunch episode such a memorable occasion.” She turned her head to face me in my spotlight at the edge of the stage. “Moreso for some of us than others, perhaps.” The audience laughed. They were hers again.

“Now I’ve kept all three of our game three losers up on stage for a reason. We are going to end every episode with the Big Wave. I want every single person who has ended up naked to come and join us on stage and wave goodbye to the viewers for the closing credits.”

The audience lights rose enough for the six naked contestants sitting in the audience to run to the front. Jim was even joined by his stark naked wife and soon stretched across the front of the stage were Trevor and Nick, then Henry, Phil, Alex, Jim and Samantha, and finally Joey’s two fellows and Joey himself. Barbie took her place at the far end of the line up, Dick stood between Joey and me, and then Barbie and Dick led them in a silly wave with both their arms raised high waving at the cheering crowd and exposing themselves utterly to the cameras.

After two whole minutes of crazy waving and applause the lights switched and it all stopped abruptly. Dick made his usual announcement.

“Folks, we have thirty minutes between episodes because we need to reset the audience as well as the stage, but thirty minutes is not as long as you think. Naked contestants should follow me for the shower and their clothes back. We present each episode as a fresh start. Everyone else, follow Barbie to the lounge for drinks and snacks. Toilets as before and, also as before, please be back in your seats on time or you will have to wait for the next break to be allowed in the studio.”

Then he took off my gag, unlocked me from the chair, and helped me stand.

“Let’s get you showered and I expect you want words with the chief.”

Oh yes. There was going to be hell to pay. What I didn’t realize until later was that I was the one who would be paying.