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Old 08-06-2011, 10:34 PM   #97
Koty920
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Join Date: Jan 2011
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I've been following this story for a while, but I've decided to comment on it now. You're doing a great job as a writer, you take your time to develop actions, and I can't find anything wrong with how you write.

One thing I wanted to mention... I don't know if it was on purpose or not, but chapter 34 had a lot of references to Aerosmith's "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing."

Quote:
As Ben slept, Evan remained awake, listening to his boyfriend breathing(I could stay awake just to hear you breathing...) and wondering what he was dreaming. (and I'm wondering what you're dreaming) Evan held Ben close, gently kissing the top of his sleeping head. With their bodies pressed together, he could feel Ben's heart beating. (Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating) Lost in the sweet surrender of the moment (I could spend my life in this sweet surrender ), Evan smiled. He was glad they were together. He wanted to stay like this forever. (And thank God we're together. I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever).
It's still a GREAT chapter. Whether you did or didn't mean to, I think its actually a great song, especially for these two characters.

Anyways, I just felt the urge to say something. You're a FANTASTIC writer and I love the fact that you update every couple days. Keep it going!
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