[Cstelle]

I don't know about intentionally rewiring your head - isn't that what those religious nutjobs try to do when they set out to "heal" homosexuality?

But I do recognise those conflicts. I lived as a heterosexual man until well into adulthood but it is now 15 years since last I was in bed with a woman - and sometimes it has felt as if different parts of my mind were developing independently of each other. I even remember thinking I wanted to be "fully gay", because I felt a fake both as straight and as gay - and not bi enough, I suppose.

I suppose our environment (school, friends, family...) teaches us certain ways to live and react - but as we change and develop as individuals we may need to find new ways to live and react. During that change, I suppose, the old and the new sometimes come into conflict.

Anyway, I find that I worry less and less about these things. I don't know if it is because I'm getting old and have stopped changing, or if it is because I've given up on understanding myself...