Quote:
Originally Posted by pluky
Sometimes people trust their partner and they are wrong, even in vanilla couples or friendships, sometimes they only see their true colors after years.
|
Very true that sometimes people are wrong about what people are like, however if someone is really into BDSM both Trust and Safety play a big part of the experience which should help negate the risk.
You need trust to know that the person has your best interests in mind, you also need safety aspect too.
Quite a lot of newbies miss this part because they expect BDSM to be like the porn they watch.
In real life you need to know a lot of safety features.
In planned hookups, I'd always expect and encourage someone to tell someone else about the meet. Also have a prep meeting before to discuss limits etc and a little catchup after to make sure everything was okay (aftercare).
I know it's not as hot as walking into a room, stripping someone naked and getting down to it, but it is needed.
Theres a lot of safety you have to consider and learn too.
E.g. The fastest way to untie someone from all the knots you've done via rope play, if they have a freak out or say the safe word (always have a safe word and I'd encourage practicing it, even when safe.)
If someone doesn't respect a safe word when things are safe, they definitely aren't going to respect it when you want to stop.
Obviously some people will prefer the 'unplanned' sexiness of it all, unfortunately its the same people that have bad experiences with BDSM.